I understand the not wanting to be harassed part. But I want them to bring it. Just try. Show me what you’ve got and then ask yourself if it was worth it.

Just wanting out on principle seems like an empty gesture. It’s probably a good idea, not being associated such a vile organization. But I don’t care. I’d rather leave the door open for excommunication. Maybe EOD can help me pick out war paint.

I understand both sides.

Most just want to be left alone and resigning ends a toxic relationship and allows closure.

Not resigning just to cause confrontation is also a valid point for those who feel a need to be heard and or a desire to open the eyes of others.

To each their own.

Myself. Neither option works. The church lists me as dead. I like it that way. There is some odd sense of satisfaction looking at them and realising they'll never hunt me down and I am invisible to them.

OK--Heartless--you did you do that? How did you get listed as "dead"?

Be sure no one has baptized you posthumously.

How it happened I am not sure.

My wife passed away in 2006 so I assume it was a clerical error. I continued to occasionally get relief society notes and gifts for her over the years.

How I found out is this:

My elderly aunt was in a nursing home. Her garments were washed with colors and turned pink. So my cousin asked me to buy some new ones since I was a few miles from an outlet.

I told him I didn't have a recommend. He said it didn't matter they looked you up in the computer.

So I took his order and went to the store. I stood in the womens section looking lost. A very nice elderly lady came and gently tried to steer me to the men's section.

I explained I was replacing garments for my aunt and handed her my order.

She was very helpful. Filled my order and took me up to the counter praising me for being a nice nephew.

The lady at the counter asked for my recommend. I made a show of thinking I had it. She said she'd look me up in the computer.

I gave her my military ID because it does not have my address.

After a few minutes she looked real confused. She looked at me. Looked at the computer. Back and forth then called for help.

Two managers came. Looked at me. Looked in the computer.

Finally the one gentleman handed me back my ID. he said "Sorry brother. According to church records you're dead."

So I left without the garments.

Love your story!

I've ordered garments using the "still alive" designation of dead relatives. They went inactive, died, and big brother hasn't gotten the word yet. I order them by phone. Hey, they're still alive in the eyes of god aren't they?

I didn’t realize until today that I was shirking my responsibility to oppose the church publicly. I thought it was okay to let bygones be bygones. Grousing about it here is okay for closure, but it doesn’t get the job done. The current state of affairs is not acceptable. These sick fucks need to be stopped. As if I don’t have enough things to do, but this is personal. Like the Jews bringing back Eichmann. Some things just need to be done.

Things may change, but today call me Ahab.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/09/2018 11:19PM by babyloncansuckit.

I refuse to resign for personal reasons that I'm happy to publicize...

1. If I don't resign, I can't be dead-dunked. All they can do is dead-minister to me, and talk about me in Paradise Ward Council...

2. If I don't resign, and the church decides to divvy up all their money amongst all the members who write in for their equal share, I'll be able to at least buy new tires... (Maybe even white walls!)

3. Face it, there are simply some beautiful opportunities out there into which to launch the phrase, "Well, you know, I'm still a mormon, and if you ask me..."

4. No way I can be the first Brown Apostle if I resign. I really do kinda have my heart set on being adulated for no really good, practical reason...

5. If I resign, I will never, never experience the love of a court.

6. (and this one is just based on fear) What if I resign and it turns out that it ruined masturbation for me!!??

I’d play it safe on #6. Any recommendations for war paint? Or are tattoos required? Because the wife doesn’t go for tattoos.

You've caught me out! I don't know a darn thing about war paint, other than the subtle fragrance of Hai Karate war paint, which as a youth I painted on liberally.

I wish now I'd done some proper studies so as to be able to comment intelligently (wow, wouldn't that be something!!!) on Hai Karate's effectiveness. But the truth is likely to be that I was afraid to find out that without Hai Karate, I wouldn't have been able to date myself out of a wet paper bag.

If you don't belong to a tribe so that an older warrior can teach you about the tribal war paint customs, that means you're free to create your own styles! But I seriously counsel you to stay away from light pastels.

English Leather for me.... All my friends wanted me to try Elsha, but I thought it smelled too girly.

Dang. I loved Elsha. I wonder it that is what turned me gay?

You, of course know better, and so do I. I apologize if my musings and memories of fifty years past was insulting to you. No insult was intended, simply a memory shared with EOD, who I know from previous posts shares some similar past experiences.

My attitudes and perceptions have matured in the last fifty years about a lot of things. Again, no personal insult was intended.

I was making a joke. Sorry not to have made that clear. Dang.
I was just joining your fun conversation. Got to remember to put the :)

You brought back some fun times. We had an English Leather crown and an Elsha crowd in school and I had forgotten all about that.

Best to you.

Thanks for the note D+D. Yes, there was a crowd of each. The English Leather group kinda became Hippies and the Elshas probably became rich. Enjoy your day, and best wishes.

I would have put EOD on Axe body spray.

Especially since he is still officially Mormon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clmr9JUyTIc

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> (And this one is just based on fear) What if
> I resign and it turns out that it ruined
> masturbation for me!!??

Why don't you ask BYUBoner about this????
(By the way, what happened to the Boner? Too much late like studies of the Boner????)

I agree. My biggest regret about resigning is that I no longer have Mormons knocking on my door and trying to reactivate me. I welcome them to try and harass me back into the church because they do so at the risk of losing their testimonies. I could have brought many more people out of the church had I not resigned. It's been 15 years since I resigned and not one knock on my door from a Mormon.

Don't resign unless you REALLY don't want visitations!

Have you tried mailing in one of those request cards from a visitor's center for a BofM ? Or maybe you could talk to the missionaries online, give them your address, and let them know you are interested in learning more. I bet you'd get on their "Golden Contact" list fast. Very soon some fresh faced, wet behind the ears missionaries would be knocking on your door ready for you to destroy their testimonies.

Happy Hunting!

Good idea. Except
I dont think I could fake it for more than like a min before I'd have to confess, haha.

I considered myself non Mormon the second I realized the church was false. Except I happened to be at BYU at the time so kept that on a need to know basis.

Back then you actually couldn't resign anyway.

Decades later when I heard about this resigning thing on RFM I found it strange that anyone would even feel the need. For me having my name on the Mormon list was like having it on any other junk mail list. You just throw it out. I told my family I wasn't Mormon anymore. They assured me I would always be whether I liked it or not. Apparently my testimony was just buried not dead.

I did resign finally right after they announced the kids of Gays thing because I thought it might help if the numbers resigning at that time made a difference. Of course it didn't. What was I thinking? Oh well. I tried.

I left in 1981. I didn't resign, didn't even know that was an option (and according to later lawsuits against the church, it probably wasn't) then. I just walked away. Cut off all contact. I moved, and they at the time didn't chase me down.

Until a few years ago, I thought I was still "officially" a member. After the above-mentioned lawsuits, I considered officially resigning. Just to make a point, if nothing else.

Then I found out that, unbeknownst to me, I'd been ex'd. In absentia. With no notice (they didn't know where I was). The ex-ing apparently took place in my old "home" ward where I'd grown up, even though I hadn't lived in that area for many years. It came about because I had run into an "old friend" I had grown up with in the church, and had expounded at length on what an idiotic cult the church was. This apparently got reported back, and they sent me into outer darkness...in their paperwork, anyway. I found out from a relative, who had done some family history work they thought I'd like to see, and it included MY record, which listed the ex-ing.

My reaction was..."whatever." I wasn't being harassed or chased, and my whole family knew my feelings about the cult, so it didn't really matter to me. Although I was a bit miffed at being ex'd and not being informed. I actually would have enjoyed going to my "court of love" and letting them have it. Oh, well.

Do what works for you. In hindsight, I would have liked to officially resign. Failing that, I would have liked to "testify" at my "court." But either way, I was officially out a long time ago, and put the cult out of my life. That's satisfying and freeing no matter how it happened.

“I’ll have you know I’ve been kicked out of much finer establishments than this!”

There's no reason to resign if you actually want them to come to your home.

Thanks to this thread, I went looking for my resignation and their "You're Outta Here" letter. I have been sure for ages that I had kept them in a file. Huh. They aren't there.

But no worries - I know that I'm out.

I resigned for the same reason that you shower after spreading manure around your yard. Spreading manure is a beneficial thing for your yard, but you don't want it on you when you are done.

Being Mormon helped me to get through a difficult time in my life, and I met DH during my time as a Mormon. So, all th8ings considered, it was a worthwhile investment.

To each his own I guess but for me it was it imperative to get

out because by then I hated the f***ing church so bad that I

jumped at the chance to resign right at the time the church was

changing its hateful policies against Gays and Lesbians. I hate

that piece of s**it church with a passion.

So I resigned and two weeks later I got my official letter that

I was out. I can't even explain or express how happy I was.

It was like such a gift, such a feeling of freedom and happiness

for me that I still experience when I think of it.


I don't begrudge anyone for not doing it because I held off

for about 4 or 5 years until the church decided to make life

even harder for the Homosexual members... then I knew I had to

get out of that cess pool of hate and venom and I'm so glad I

I did . I'll never regret doing it.

I think I recall when you did that. Did you write about it here?

I haven't resigned; I'd sort of like to see them excommunicate me--anything to consume more church resources. Also, a direct confrontation feels like it would be cathartic.

In any case, there must be as many answers to what is appropriate as their are ex-Mormons!

I did write about it here.... hell, I would have yelled it

on a rooftop if I could have. I would have had a parade and

marched in it as the head Majorette... Yes it was that good

of a feeling... You just do what you feel like doing Lots Wife...

For me it was just joyous and fabulous what ever you decide will

be good for you as well. Stay gold my friend.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/10/2018 08:59PM by saucie.

It was largely symbolic for me. I felt controlled by the church, so I decided to control them and resign. When I say I'm not Mormon, it's felt more true after I resigned.
I resigned because I hate their stance on LGBT and woman/gender issues. I didn't believe anymore. But I sure as hell didn't want to be associated.

You sound like my old buddy Steve C. from Miami U. How's life?

If you resign out of fear or anger, seems the church is still controlling you. Won't you continue to be afraid of those scary Mormons, which you once were?

I never attacked anyone when I was active, and I have never been attacked by a member.

I resigned in my head, which is all that matters to me.

I've never been forced to do anything by the church unless my head allowed me to.

Church is not like the government, which will send guys with guns and put you in jail if you don't pay for an assortment of wasteful or destructive programs or wars. Yet most don't mind that kind of control.

I wasn't an evil guy when I visited inactives, so I figure most members aren't either. I don't claim I'm right and they're wrong, but just tell them what I like and don't like. They use feelings to justify the church, so I go with my feelings. Hard to argue with them.

I tell them I would like to do polygamy, but haven't been assured it will happen. They feel embarrassed.

I tell them I don't like sitting in meetings, but prefer doing hobbies. I don't feel a good god would mind.

I feel confused trying to figure out when leaders are inspired and when they aren't.

And on and on. I think when they leave they question their own interests and feelings. And then I don't see them for years.

I like your style. Feel the same.

Thanks for posting everyone. I’ll keep my fingers crossed. Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get to unleash my potty mouth.

LD$ Inc. still has me on their membership roles. I guess I'm one of the 14 million or whatever the fake number is.

My nonmo boyfriend even pulled up e-mails I had written saying I would never resign as it was jumping through their hoops. He was concerned about how it would effect me psychologically since he knew me back when I was TBM and now. He knows I can be rather fragile emotionally. But I did it anyway.

I have NEVER had one regret. Like Saucie, when I think about it, it makes me happy again. I felt such a huge load taken off my shoulders, a "lightness of being." ha ha ha I'd suggest it to ANYONE. My brother and my son plan on doing it soon. I keep forgetting to pull up the e-mail for them. My brother was worried he'd have to be ex'd first. He has a hard time comprehending that his devout sister, innocent, naive sister could have been ex'd, too. That isn't why I did it, though. I went out on my terms. Not their's.

I had several reasons for resigning:

1) I wanted to make a clean break from Mormonism. No longer being a member of record made clear where I stood--not just to others but to myself. It helped me to think of myself in new ways outside of the Mormon - Non-Mormon paradigm.

2) I felt the need to excommunicate the Mormon institution from me. I did not want to feel responsible, or part of, what the leadership was doing.

3) Like cl2 said above, it was a huge emotional lift. I've never regretted it either.