* Casting judgment based on emotion, without justification.
* Nit picking someone to death. Includes being overly critical of someone; what good comes of that besides blaming and shaming another?
What love is:
* Believing in the infinite worth of another. Including yourself.
* Being there for someone through thick or thin.
* Having empathy and compassion for those less fortunate.
* Forgiveness when called for.
* Giving without expecting anything in return, for its own sake.
Have any others to add to the list of what love is, or is not in your values system?
Mormonism is all about playing the GAME the Mormon Way. If you don't walk or talk or eat or dress or believe like they do, you aren't accepted or loved the same, including and especially within families.
I discovered that most poignantly at my brother's funeral this past week. As I realized that what my niece was offended by my being present was that I was her father's "apostate" sister. Never mind that I think for myself, and found my way out of a cult. She was practicing the art of shunning her aunt by her rudeness toward me. Instead of celebrating my being there to celebrate the life of her father, and my brother.
How shortsighted she was not to be able to see past the cloudy Mormon lenses that have fogged her vision for this lifetime. In part of the eulogy she prepared for brother she remarked how he had dangled a missionary out of their Paris window on his mission for not being as ardent a missionary as he was. By his ankles, to get his attention. She thought that was worth commemorating. I found it was patently offensive that he could have killed another young missionary because of his overzealousness and his immaturity.
Some people are more adept at being able to see past the hypocrisy and self-righteousness the cult inflicts upon its members. I'm so glad to be in that group; which is not a SILENT MINORITY any longer. We are becoming an outspoken force to be reckoned with, that the TBM's cannot ignore or pretend we don't exist ... because our numbers are growing. As the ranks of theirs are diminishing with every flame that goes out. And every member who wakes up to the reality it is a farce rather than a force, to be reckoned with.
The same niece did something unthinkable to my half-sister while she was alive, while niece was a young(er) adult. I chalked that up to inexperience and immaturity.
Now niece is in her 30's. It saddens me that although she has aged she hasn't 'grown' inwardly.
TSCC inculcates its members and rewards them for their shortsightedness insofar as they remain loyal and steadfast to TSCC above all else. That may be her legacy. Her mean streak outweighs her compassion for others. And I do mean 'mean streak.'
It is her religion to be that way. A religion where actions and words speak for themselves. A religion I only too happily divorced to free myself from its negativity long ago. Going to a Mormon family member's funeral is a long suffering event I could as easily do without.
My parents funerals were held at funeral parlors, without all the Mormon fanfare. They were more private, more personal, and more meaningful. My brothers still had them buried in their Mormon attire. Aside of that we didn't have the falsetimonies or the preaching from the pulpit like I had to endure the other day. Or the meanness of some of the people present who should treat family like family instead of shunning a brother's only sister.
Some people say that watching a person's actions may be the only bible a non-believer will ever read. Well, the same can be said for dysfunctional Mormons. That watching their actions may be the only Book of Mormon a non-Mormon non-believer will ever read. The religion teaches hatefulness in place of love. Families are not forever in Mormonism. It robs families of their birthright on so many levels.
It goes to the heart of the falseness of its teachings.
I frequently wonder what "Love thy neighbor" means as in the Bible. Sometimes I wonder if it literally means don't physically hurt them or kill them, you figure when the bible was written people would be killed for no reason other than they were different, think different, act different etc. Love is a hard word to define, and yes it means different things to different people.
Some take it literally. Resulting in the breaking of other commandments such as 'thou shall not covet thy neighbor's (fill in the blank,)' or 'thou shall not commit adultery.'
Think Leonard Cohen singing "Hallelujah" ... no one sings it as well as he did !
To me, love is wanting the other person to be happy, in the path the choose. Not wanting them to do what you want.
Problem is most of us think we know what's best for the other. And if we see what we consider the wrong or destructive path, we might want to intervene.
So Mormons think we'd be happier back in church, and we think they'd be happier out of church.
Most people are control freaks.
I don't tell anyone I love them. I don't like the word. Most of the time it is fake.
The fake love in marriage depends on compliance with certain demands. Not many are loving when hubby lays on the couch or doesn't make enough money.