My very TBM mother has been assigned to "minister" over a lady that was baptized by the mishes last year. The RS president asked my very elderly mother (86 years) to transport the woman to church, fellowship her, and assist her as needed.

The problem is that this woman is f'ing nasty. She is literally so infested with bed bugs, that they crawl out of her clothing while she is at church. I found this out in conversation with my mother today - a conversation that went like this (I left the church 10 years ago, but still have good relationship w/ my TBM parents):

Me: Hi mom. How are you doing today? Were you able to go Christmas shopping yesterday as planned?

Mom: No, I had to take "Mary" (not her real name) to the store.

Me: Oh really, why are you taking her anyplace, didn't you tell me that she has adult children who help her?

Mom: Well, her kids are mad at her because she keeps getting bed bugs, and is not vigilant enough to do what is needed to get rid of them. Her kids have told her that she is not allowed to go to church because of the bed bugs, and she is very stubborn.

Me: Uhh...ok..did you just say that this woman has bed bugs, and that she is so nasty and unclean that even her own kids are mad at her for her uncleanliness.

Mom: Weellll..she had them treated once, but they came back, and dad and I, looked it up, and we found out that bed bugs leave eggs, which don't always get exterminated the first time around and we think this is what happened.

Me: Ok..um...well..don't I recall that this woman was in your house, watching general conference recently, you were asked by the Bishop to invite her over? Do you have this woman ride in your car?

Mom: Welll...yes, well, but we don't go in her house.

Me: Mom..hello...it doesn't matter. They hide. Bed bugs hide in purses, clothing, sacks, etc. Mom please stop...stop seeing this woman. You are putting all of us at risk, you grand children, your church family, neighbors, etc. Do you want bed bugs? Do want to be responsible for someone who spread this because you feel so compelled to follow the bishops instructions that you place this about the safety and healthy of your own family.

Mom: Ok, I hear you and you think I don't, but will stop bringing over to the house, and when she uh..uh...get's rid of the bugs, then we'll start taking her to church.

Me. UGHH..what...why? why? Why must you hang out w/ someone who is so nasty, unclean, and just plain gross...I just feel like beating head against the wall.

Mom: Well, I've told you to much dear...do you not want me to come over to your house now?

Me: My God mother, please listen to me. I don't want bed bugs. No one does. It's hard to get rid of them. They suck your blood at night. They are very intelligent creatures. I don't want you go get bed bugs mother, and to be honest you have probably been infested, do you know what they look like?

Mom: Well, one at church, dad and I were standing in the foyer with Mary, and we noticed that two bugs were crawling on her coat, and we asked, 'Mary are those beg bugs? and she said, no they weren't", but later dad and I looked it up, and we saw a picture on google - and yes those were indeed bed bugs. So yes, I do know what they look like, and NO I DON'T HAVE BED BUGS.

Me: You let her get back in your car, after seeing that? Are you kidding me? OMG..mother. What makes think that someone who is so infested, to the point that the bugs crawl around on her so much, that somehow they are NOT going to infest crawl out into your car?

Mom: (drumb roll)...well honey, I know that you don't believe in the church any more, but we are doing the Lord's work and he will protect us.

Me: Mom..oh my gosh...mother. No. No. No....it doesn't work like that.

Anyway, that's the way the conversation went. It is just infuriating dealing with the Mormon mindset. So compelled to be a righteous Mormons, even to the extent of placing Mormonism among all else.

Holy crap! If the Relief Society president really wants to help this woman she should hire an exterminator to get rid of the bugs.

It is incredibly cruel to knowingly place an elderly woman in a position where she will be exposed to bedbugs. I think it is a form of elder abuse and I would call the RS president and threaten legal action.

I second that. They should not be exposing anyone, especially an elderly lady to that by pressuring her to pick this lady up.
The church should be helping her out by getting rid of the bed bugs themselves.Wheres the caring and the charity at in the churches behalf?

This is another example of someone putting the church first-- above herself and her family and everyone's well-being and happiness.

Substitute my elderly mother of 83, for your elderly mother. Substitute flu for bed bugs. Mom was "RS compassionate service leader." She was way too old for this calling! She was a meek, obedient Mormon female, and she had no husband to help her say "NO." She drove the sick person to and from the doctor, several times. The sick person had plenty of family, who could have done this for her.

My mother would not listen to us. She caught the flu, and was so sick that the elders came and gave her a blessing, and she recovered. It was too late, because he had already kissed and sneezed all over my brother and SIL's baby, who was too little to have a flu shot. The baby was sick for several weeks, and had to be hospitalized on three occasions, for breathing problems.

My SIL was so upset, that she will not let my mother hold the baby, until her "calling" as "compassionate service leader" ends. She says my mother has no concept of germs and contagion.

All you can do is protect yourself and your OWN family, who will listen to you, and who will observe good hygiene.

Good decision to ban the bugs!

"Bedbug Eddie"............

http://i.imgur.com/UjNBQNB.jpg

The woman with bed bugs needs to be quarantined until the problem is resolved.

She has no business mingling in society until the bed bugs are exterminated for good. Wherever she goes, they go. She's a walking pariah.

She needs an exterminator, not a visiting teacher.

Our downtown city hall became infested with bed bugs an office worker or visitor brought with them. It infested the entire building.

Your mom may already have bed bugs if she's gotten that close to this person. Eee gads.

I can relate to this type of elderly abuse. The church has no shame demanding older members on limited incomes to drive members and or missionaries around for errands and missionary transfers.

I remember hearing about Brother Oldersun, a 75 year old widow, being conned to drive the elders for a missionary transfer. First, they had more bags than Oldersun's Ford Escort could handle. Then, a 20 mile trip ballooned into 100 mile round trip. Along the way, the escort got a flat tire. Neither elder knew how to change a tire, so Oldersun had to walk to a pay phone to call for his non-member son to come to his rescue. Due to the delay from the tire repair and the distance, Oldersun drove back to his house at night. He didn't see well enough to drive back on the narrow winding road. He misjudged the shoulder and crashed into the bank of a mountain. His car had to be towed to a repair shop and Oldersun ended up in the ER with a dozen stitches. The bishop thought it was all good and fun when he ribbed Brother Oldersun in PH meeting. I guess the blessings were just grand!

Report the entire situation to the local health department as well as the state office, telling them about the car rides, home visits, church services and do it now.

Between this woman and your Mother, they are spreading health hazards and disease to the entire community.

You can’t trust the bishopric to properly contain the problem. Let the health department deal with the possibility of an infested church as well as the house of the problem member. They may want to lean on the ward to foot the bill for the latter, seeing as how they have the authority to shut down the chapel over it.

OTOH, if OP doesn’t want burned bridges she could contact the RS directly and ensure that the bishop is aware of the problem and has a satisfactory plan of action.

On the bright side, Mormons and bed bugs have similar notions of boundaries. Maybe they could be friends. What’s one more parasite?

I agree to give the health department a call. I also think this might possibly be a matter for your elder abuse agency. You mother might be considered too fragile to be put in such a situation.

I seriously doubt that the RSP would put herself and her own family into such a situation.

When it came to looking out for my little old Mom n Pop, I had no restraint.

Having a propensity to swear came in handy.

My parents never got mad at me.

I've been around people with bed bugs and skabies and its a little nerve racking but not that bad. The trouble is that some people don't bathe regularly and then they pass them to the people they are living with. Everyone needs to clean their butthole everyday. It's kind of gross. The mother just needs to wash her clothes especially her underwear.

But this thing about cleanliness is that it is a new thing. Back in the day 25 years ago, lots of people never bathed. My grandma use to only take a bath 3 times a year and it was no big deal (though she smelled like a ....). And I've seen Indians from India with elephant skin at the store who apparently have never looked at themselves in a mirror. Or washed their face.

And this from a church that is now putting out blankets rather than run the heat. Great idea!