TO all my invisible friends ,many on the opposite side of the planet.

You do not realise how much you help someone learn, grow and confront the dark times.

I have been in the middle of a dark ,dark time. Mental illness and cruelty in their spouse affecting a much loved child and and innocent grandchildren.I have learnt more from you on this community board than from my psychiatry textbooks and years in practice. I have been an often silent member of RFM for 20 years but it has not stopped my almost daily reading of the board and storing up nuggets of wisdom and occasionally sharing something, good or bad.

I cannot tell you what this has meant over these years and now I know that I am better able to confront these heart tearing challenges due to all of your shared experiences. We may never meet but I feel your support.

If you're here in Oz like me I too feel that this site has helped me beyond words.

All the best. Alan.

What can be done about the spouse-in-law and your child to help facilitate a change? I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

Through the years, we have been fortunate to have several international posters contribute. This helps everyone's perspective and we see what commonalities we all have. The world is big place and it helps to view it with a bigger lens. Thank you back.

OzDoc, it's good to hear from you. I am sorry that you are going through a dark time. We are here any time you need us.

I'm sorry you are having problems with an abusive spouse. I had to endure that, too.

But--when abuse hits our children and grandchildren, something inside of us says "enough!" We're behind you, in helping your kids.

RFM has helped me, too. By helping me, it has helped my children. They were being abused by their father, and after we moved away, by Mormon cult leaders. Thanks to RFM, I found out how to resign, and we are all out!

I also needed a group of people, to give me the courage to stand up to abuse, and finally end it!

I hope you can find a way to cut off all contact with the abuser. I tried many avenues, and "no contact" was my only solution. Luckily, my children have "no contact" also. I understand that you can't just save yourself, and not save your loved ones, too. You are a good person.