This article really opened my eyes to the egregious mistake I've been making of calling The Three Nephites Nephites and Captain Moroni a captain.

And apparently Satan is able to influence an apostle...

"The three disciples are referred to as Nephites in the chapter heading for 3 Nephi 28 by Elder McConkie."
http://www.ldsliving.com/What-We-ve-Been-Getting-Wrong-About-the-3-Nephites/s/84318

Some other gems from this article include pointing out how Jesus is color blind.

"Assuming that a person is righteous or wicked based on a single characteristic prevents us from fully seeing others as the Savior does."

So why did he curse The Lamanites with a dark skin?

Also, Mormon would have changed his name had it known Satan would use it against the people he was editing and compiling for...

"If Mormon lived in our day, I do not believe that he would have identified himself as a “Mormon” either."

I was thinking "Larry, Curly, and Moe" -- but that would be an insult to the Stooges.

How about The Three Zombie Stooges?

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
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> I was thinking "Larry, Curly, and Moe" -- but that
> would be an insult to the Stooges.


Nice. I was thinking "Larry, Darryl, and the other Nephite Darryl."

Elder Berry Wrote:
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> So why did he curse The Lamanites with a dark
> skin?

I'm a Neo-Lamanite trapped in a Neo-Nephite body.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/hawaii-congressman-claims-hes-an-asian-trapped-in-a-white-body/ar-BBSkQJs?ocid=spartandhp

in b 4 ~ its too bad the 3 (maybe not) Nephites did not dig up the gold plates and "restore" the "church" by themselves ~


Mormon Jesus could have avoided all that "Joseph's Myth" dumbassery ~

ziller Wrote:
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> in b 4 ~ its too bad the 3 (maybe not) Nephites
> did not dig up the gold plates and "restore" the
> "church" by themselves ~

One would think that they at least showed up for the event.

"The Three Nephites"" The three Nephites who never existed?

>> “[T]hey did go forth upon the face of the land, and did minister unto all the people, uniting as many to the church as would believe in their preaching; baptizing them, and as many as were baptized did receive the Holy Ghost.

“And they were cast into prison by them who did not belong to the church. And the prisons could not hold them, for they were rent in twain. And they were cast down into the earth; but they did smite the earth with the word of God, insomuch that by his power they were delivered out of the depths of the earth; and therefore they could not dig pits sufficient to hold them. And thrice they were cast into a furnace and received no harm.

“And twice were they cast into a den of wild beasts; and behold they did play with the beasts as a child with a suckling lamb, and received no harm. And it came to pass that thus they did go forth among all the people of Nephi, and did preach the gospel of Christ unto all people upon the face of the land; and they were converted unto the Lord, and were united unto the church of Christ, and thus the people of that generation were blessed, according to the word of Jesus.”

>> "Elder Jeffrey Holland confirmed that the three disciples “continue in their translated state today, just as when they went throughout the lands of Nephi”

So they are still out there teaching and baptizing converts, getting thrown into prisons and walking out when it breaks apart, getting buried alive, roasted in furnaces, tossed into animal pits with no ill effects, etc?

You'd think that would make the news.

Maybe they took God's advice to Joe and endorse no church?

Keyfinders

Love it. Jesus Zombie Monkeys.

Huey Dewey and Louie.

With the last name "Schmuck!"

; ' )

Kookla, Fran and Ollie

This may be another pesky DNA problem for the church.
All three of these guys submitted their DNA to Ancestry.com for testing and no Nephite DNA was found. However the good news is that Jeffrey Holland is a third cousin!

You could call them late for dinner, they aren't going to come anyway.

We could call them what they really are....

"Figments of a self absorbed satyr's imagination."

Imaginary

Dittos

got sick of their special ministries long ago. (How many millions of times can you deliver the same sales pitch before you get burned out on the whole thing?)

Although not common knowledge, there is an 18th century diary entry (dated long before Joseph Smith's arrival on the scene) of a man named Gregory P. Hanover who met a strange man who identified himself as a "Nefa Hite." According to Hanover, the man looked to be of middle age and in good health, but claimed to be several centuries old. Hanover also observed that the man was fond of wearing a peculiar breastplate and a skirt, in addition to drinking alcohol and smoking cannabis leaves "prodigiously."

The Nefa Hite man's name, according to Hanover, was Gahad Dahamital. Hanover's diary entry went on to state that Gahad Dahamital offered to give Hanover something of great, great value, saying: "Well, well, Mr. Hanover. Today is a most fortunate day for you. I will give you something priceless. But you must choose well. I offer you on one hand a special message about the Lord Jesus Christ yadda, yadda, yadda OR on the other hand a bottle of my finest home-brewed liquor. Which will you choose?"

Hanover reported in his diary that he chose the home-brewed liquor, and that Gahad Dahamital complimented him on making the wise choice. Hanover mentioned that the liquor was exquisite, but his encounter with Dahamital was brief, as Dahamital insisted that he had to leave to join two ancient companions, one he referred to as "Awlard Fuhugital" and the other as "Deezuh Sugsalaht." According to Hanover, Dahamital invited him to come along for a "great adventure searching for mushrooms of great potency and betting on tapir races." Hanover declined, not knowing what such activities entailed and worrying that there would be nobody to feed the hogs if he was gone from the farm for an extended period of time.

I think that diary entry may be an answer to the question of what to call the three Nephites. I don't have any other insights though. I only report the facts as I find them.

Gahad Dahamital.

Hehe. :)

You should read this book!

https://www.amazon.com/Three-Nephites-Other-Translated-Beings/dp/1555176879/ref=asc_df_1555176879/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=316983541134&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=685141204124970672&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9023225&hvtargid=pla-594848801953&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=66074356314&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=316983541134&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=685141204124970672&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9023225&hvtargid=pla-594848801953

Or this one...

"Heartfelt testimonies, sacred experiences, private conversations, and special miracles will uplift, motivate, and strengthen."
https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/about-the-three-nephites_douglas-beardall/447380/?mkwid=sGRt9lfay%7cdc&pcrid=70112859672&pkw=&pmt=&plc=&pgrid=21517256472&ptaid=pla-293099308689&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6ebS4-b33wIVLh6tBh2Kcw-oEAQYASABEgKm7vD_BwE#isbn=1882371259&idiq=186578

I have it on good authority that the Three Nephites live somewhere on the BYU campus. Most of the reported sightings have occurred there, usually on a Friday night.

Aren't their names Peter, James and John, or are those three other dudes?

No one has seen the "The Trilogy", because they would be blinded if they did, and one of them is invisible.

There's the "Big Three", that everybody sees photographed in the "Deseret News" every day or two, smirking and hugging and congratulating themselves.

Mormons used to come in groups of three, late at night, to our house to bang on our door and harass and threaten me and my children, to force us to go back to their cult The Bishopric Three, and the Stake Presidency Three. Also the less aggressive but equally pesky RS three, the YM three and the YW three.

I guess the Mormon "Three-in-One" scriptures have disappeared, since the JS translation of B of A been proven wrong.

3 is a magic number.