So I made it through 2018 but only just, it seemed for some days. I posted a while back from the midst of my dark night but little did I know it was barely half over. Got sick at the end of November and am just starting to recover and feel half human again in the last few days. Scary how mortal we really are despite seemingly being in robust health. Out of the blue the flu bug struck right when I was considering getting the shot in November, as finally I was paying attention to the dire warnings of its extra virility this year. Too late. Bam. Hunkered down, counting the days, thinking it would be over in a week. Repeat for second week. Then third. Finally dragged myself to walk-in clinic. Got Rx that turned out to be useless. MD there was in a rush and didn't apparently hear my pleas about being so dehydrated from not eating/drinking anything much for a couple of weeks due to aggressive flu symptoms. That's what nearly did for me, him sending me home instead of straight to Emergency. Three more days of zero oral intake and enhanced dehydration effects were three too many. Scared myself when I barely had energy left to take a shower - you know, the most important thing! Finally asked brother to take me to Emerg. Realized later I wasn't really thinking straight by then. Lucky he was there and obviously concerned. I may have just kept on lying in bed, ending up beyond human help.

So much for my much-anticipated Christmas holiday. Instead of the relaxation and good times I had envisioned after a whole year of hard work and little time off I was stuck in a major inner-city ER with a crowd of sickies spreading their dreaded germs. Also folks who had over-imbibed or over-dosed. Nasty. I don't recommend it.

I'm obsessed with mulling over every detail but I'll spare you (somewhat). Bad experience all round though. I went in on Dec 23 (boo hoo) and in the early hours of Dec 24 finally got a bed - in the ER corridor. You know - that place with the fluorescent lights on overhead 24/7 - where the stretchers are lined up head to foot - where hospital maintenance staff scurry by non-stop, where doctors examine you casually in the open (no screens) and patients, visitors and staff walk past in a never-ending stream of sickies and healers and family, friends and neighbours. In the wee hours the hospital MD was checking me out. "There's no room at the inn, literally" he chortled, excusing their "hallway medicine". Not that funny from my perspective. Seasonal though, sure enough.

I was stuck there for nearly 60 hours. The patient behind me was in withdrawal that whole time, screaming, yelling, swearing, hurling abuse at the nurses all day and all night. And he was not the only one. Between the effects of my sickness and his noise I had NO SLEEP and started realizing my own physical and mental and emotional limitations. Finally the staff conceded defeat and gave him something nicely opioidy and/or narcoticky (not prescribed much in these parts any more) to encourage him to STFU for a while (6 hrs). I said to the nurse they were only just in time. "I felt myself starting to scream and thought I wouldn't be able to stop" I said. I didn't know insomnia could do that to you. Too much noise, so much illness, overwhelmingly bad roommate/s and very tough situation all round.

Finally got a bed on the ward on the third day (after spending Christmas in the decidedly non-therapeutic hallway) but the MD up there turfed me out literally in the middle of getting a much-need IV dose of another antibiotic. Only to go home, still sick, and end up doing the dreaded return trip in another few days, going through the whole scene all over again. Nine hours in ER waiting room, two hours in a freezing cubicle waiting for an IV, and finally another stretcher in the exact same hallway. Thank GOD the noisy guy wasn't there again (the nurses told me he was a frequent repeater). Two more days/nights under the fluorescents. Told the nurses I could understand why they use sleep deprivation as torture. No darkness, no soft lighting, no quiet time. A good recipe for a meltdown.

Finally, another bed upstairs - same place as I was a few days previously when the first MD kicked me out. Sheesh. Now I was missing New Year's as well. I felt very sorry for myself, while still realizing that others (always) have it far worse. Doesn't mean I can't wallow at least for a little while. And I did.

Next thing I know, brother shows up unexpectedly, toting the eternal British cup of tea, the panacea for all difficult situations, only to tell me that Mom had fallen and broken her shoulder. She was in the same ER I had just left! Guaranteed no sleep that night. Even though I was feeling beyond ill, like I've never experienced (or even imagined) in my life before, I schlepped over to a different, faraway wing in my hospital socks and flapping gown to check on my mom. I was surprised they would let me out like that. I imagined carrying on walking but where to go dressed in my giveaway outfit and still needing every second bathroom I passed, for one reason or another.

I'm always marvelling over the wonders of modern medicine but really what saved me were the frequent free-flowing trusty normal saline IVs. Seems so mundane. I would rather have found salvation in a wonder drug. More riveting. More indicative of how grave my situation. Really, I was just all dried out and needing a good watering. So simple. A healthy dose of IV Gravol helped to re-establish oral intake slowly but surely.

I developed the most irresistible craving for pickles. Brother had to make an emergency run to me with baggies full of Bick's finest. When I told a dietician she said that can happen if your electrolytes are out of whack. Funny eh? I was cramming the things into my mouth like Christmas chocolates and they tasted sweeter than any Cadbury's I've ever scoffed. The doctor asked me if I could be pregnant due to my pickle gorging. I laughed and said it may be Christmas but there is only one Immaculate Conception! To this day my diet still includes piles of pickles on every dinner plate. More than I've ever eaten in life to date. Weird huh? And veggies with ranch dip. Could be worse cravings for sure.

So Christmas came and went. As did New Year's. And finally within a few days of 2019 dawning I ended up signing myself out of hospital. Could not stand it one single moment longer. Just could not do another night. Once they withdrew the IVs and put me solely on oral intake I was gone gone gone. A private room would have convinced me to stay until they were ready to let me out but such are thin on the ground around here.

So I will continue to say our health care in Canada is, obviously, world class in many ways, especially the quality of most medical personnel, but I found out in a personal way (and would rather have skipped the lesson) that there are very real challenges that negatively impact on patients and staff alike. The best part is that no matter what resources I needed and consumed I will never receive a bill (but have paid up front, so to speak, through high taxes; not a bad way to do it, considering alternatives).

Now to the Heart of Gold, which is really the point of this post. Sorry to take so long to get there.

During the third sleepless night in the manky hospital corridor (after many such at home due to ongoing lengthy illness spanning weeks) when I was losing all hope of recovery or any good thing, inexplicably my brain went to RfM and I revisited Threads I Have Enjoyed. It's funny how posters I've never met seemed so real to me during my nights in the wilderness. I felt a flicker of hope and positivity when I recalled Done & Done's post from a while back recommending a video to me: Grace VanderWaal singing "Clearly" as well as other videos he later mentioned on that thread. I could visualize Grace's video and recall how happy and hopeful it made me feel when I had watched it (a few months back). It had energy or power to imbue me with at least a glimmer of hope again. I wouldn't always be stuck in the hallway, feeling ill, starving to the point of losing nearly 30 lbs the hard way (!), using too much energy hanging onto weakened self control in the face of many tough challenges, missing the holidays. (There's always next year! Maybe. If we're lucky).

So. Thanks Done & Done for giving me Grace. It meant a lot the day you posted that video but even more as I lay on my narrow hard cold comfortless stretcher in the corridor of hell that I hope never to see, or remember, again. Isn't it amazing how our posting efforts can be far-reaching unbeknownst to us. Forgive me for a little Bible thing - it reminds me of one of the verses that's always been amongst my faves: "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold...".

We speak a lot of words here (some of us, ahem, more than others). Good to know we can touch another's mind or heart and make a difference.

I want to return the favour - to Done & Done and to all those who use the words at their disposal to reach out to fellow RfMers, offering support, compassion, help and info. You can make such a difference to others and may never realize it. I always feel warm and happy when I see posters taking the time to respond to the questions and needs of fellow travellers.

Here's a singer whose voice I am totally hooked on (that's my kind of "addiction" - playing great music over and over and never getting enough of it). A familiar song with a different twist - Cree Heart of Gold.

Enjoy!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMTzfSWNBhc



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/22/2019 08:26PM by Nightingale.

Nightingale:

This is the absolutely worst hospital story I have ever heard!

[More than a bit shocking, too, because (from a more "southern" viewpoint) we often think of Canada as a kind of medical utopia, but you have effectively added a great deal of "nuance" to our often parochial perceptions!]

I am very glad you are feeling better, and that your often horrific experience is now in your past!

I love the video--both the performed music, and also the great shots of the First Nation kids and adults.

(I can't remember a similar song, related via indigenous cultural terms, in American popular music. If I still worked for Capitol Records, I would have already been in [now deceased] Nik Venet's office, saying: I think you want to do [a Native American version of some other song(s), similar to] this! I am pretty sure he would have been onto it immediately, and would have been directing Norma, his assistant, who to call first as the potential artist(s).)

I am glad you are "back," and I hope that you never again have to go through anything in any way similar.

You were missed.

Tevai Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nightingale:
>
> This is the absolutely worst hospital story I have
> ever heard!

Ha Tevai. And I left out the grimmer details. It's worse than I described. But I hate to complain. And didn't want to get too personal. Maybe that ship has sailed.

I am very glad you are feeling better, and that your often horrific experience is now in your past!

I hope it is in the past. I am not healing as quickly as I expected. Tough to go from 100% healthy to being a longer term patient. Especially when it was "just" flu. But obviously a big bad dose of it.

> I love the video--both the performed music, and
> also the great shots of the First Nation kids and
> adults.

I'm glad you liked it. I am totally hooked on it, play it several times a day whenever I get a chance. Of course, Neil Young gave us the great tune and then this band adds to it with the video, as you say, and the Cree verse, and I'm totally in love with the lead singer's voice. Love the beat too. Always love the drums.

> (I can't remember a similar song, related via
> indigenous cultural terms, in American popular
> music. If I still worked for Capitol Records, I
> would have already been in Nik Venet's office,
> saying: I think you want to do this! I am pretty
> sure he would have been onto it immediately, and
> would have been directing Norma, his assistant,
> who to call first as the potential artist(s).)

I'm sure too that somebody would jump all over it. Canada is a much smaller market and artists are always trying to get play in the US, unless they are exceptionally "patriotic" or some prefer Canada and do very well here. But a wider play would be great to demonstrate the variety of talent out there and also different cultures.

> I am glad you are "back," and I hope that you
> never again have to go through anything in any way
> similar.
>
> You were missed.

Thank you so much, Tevai. It was lonely in that hospital bed, even with engineers and maintenance guys and loud visitors and demanding patients and vipers with sharp needles all around me 24/7, draining the life out of me via acute sleep deprivation. It did amuse me that I thought of RfM and the posters I "know". I wouldn't have expected that.

The strangest thing: The whole time I was sick I didn't have the energy or interest to read a book. I would never have predicted such a thing would happen. I read every night. Five books on the go at once. Books all over the place. But in over a month I didn't read a single page. I didn't know you could be so sick or so exhausted that you wouldn't be able to read. One of my passions. Completely dissipated. My sister gave me two huge bags of books yesterday and I was less than gracious, to my regret, as all I could think was what the heck am I going to do with all that and where am I going to put them (bookcases are all full) as I am still not back to reading. No energy. That's why it's taken me a good few days to even get back to my own thread.

But on the bright side. At least I'm out of the hospital! I hope to not make a return trip for a very long time. If ever.

It's good to be back reading RfM, catching up. Some sad news though, unusually grouped together at the same time, about some RfM regulars. I will miss SQ#1 - too young for her to have left us and so abruptly. Cheryl, of course, won't let a silly little hip thing hold her back for long, not if she has anything to say about it. And etc for others who are dealing with pain and loss. That's a big part of the reason I try not to whine too much - somebody else is always also suffering and likely are worse off than you. So for once I give myself permission to whine a little but to cut it off at the pass before going overboard. I hope I can do that.

So glad you're on the mend, Nightie. It's just not the same here without you. Sorry for the very rough road you had to travel. That's awful...

Glad to hear you're feeling and doing much better than you were.

Hopefully those long waits in the ER are behind you.

Good to have you back and posting again on RfM.

Thank you for the kind comments, all. Much appreciated.

Hey, listen to this - Buffy Sainte-Marie performing 'Starwalker' - spine-chilling, in a good way. Note the drummer - he really gets into it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJffugOR4XE

The rhythms of both these songs get into your blood. It makes me dance.

SO happy to feel like dancing again!

Tevai: Good instinct to let somebody somewhere in power know about this fabulous music. Lots more where it came from. It so deserves to be heard and appreciated as widely as possible.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/22/2019 09:25PM by Nightingale.

And thanks for the Buffy Sainte-Maire, Nightingale. I first saw her on TV in the UK during the 70s. Who could resist a voice like that? She also has a wonderful face :-)

Welcome back. We need your view here.

Much love

Tom in Paris

I've got the Buffy Sainte-Marie earworm. I've now been listening to her all day!

I listened to the Buffy St Marie song last night and it was spine chilling. I haven't heard her sing in I don't know how many years. I didn't know she was still performing.

Then I listened to a BBC Canadian documentary after that on her life story that was also very interesting. She has had quite a career for a folk singer from Woodstock and beyond.

Hello Tom in Paris, Elder Berry and Amyjo.

Yes, I love Buffy. Yes, she's gorgeous. I've heard her on radio and she is mesmerizing. Also she has a lovely speaking voice, not surprisingly. On the radio I've heard her new song and it's much longer, it seemed, than the performance she gave on Canada Day. I love it when performers sing the chorus over and over again.

I'm glad she's still going strong.

Nice to see you all. Thanks for piping up on my thread.

I was just wondering how your vacation in the south of France was going, Nightingale. Really. Do that next time instead. Being an invalid isn't all it's cracked up to be. Still, I sure enjoyed the recounting of your ordeal with your way with words.

A still small voice told me you would need that Grace VanderWaal cover song some day. I just can't seem to shake the Holy Ghost. Sticks like glue. Keeps telling me stuff like that. :) So glad the song found you again. So glad you are somewhere back to your old self.

Your payback is spot on. Never heard of Midnight Shine. Now will never forget them. I love his voice. I love his face. Beautiful. He transcends the song for me like Grace did with I Can See Clearly Now. When he switched to the Mushkegowuk language the sudden glint in the people's eyes and the punch to their smiles to hear that beauty in their own language just melted me. You could see their temperatures raise a degree. I felt like part of them for a moment. Music unites. Beautiful man. Beautiful voice.

I will raise a pickle to your good health tonight.

Done & Done Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was just wondering how your vacation in the
> south of France was going, Nightingale. Really.
> Do that next time instead.

Haha, D&D. Yeah. I wish.

I will definitely choose France over the hospital hallway - or pretty much any other place that's half decent.


> Being an invalid isn't
> all it's cracked up to be. Still, I sure enjoyed
> the recounting of your ordeal with your way with
> words.

Glad some enjoyment was derived. But not gonna do that again! Even for you!


> A still small voice told me you would need that
> Grace VanderWaal cover song some day. I just
> can't seem to shake the Holy Ghost. Sticks like
> glue. Keeps telling me stuff like that. :) So
> glad the song found you again. So glad you are
> somewhere back to your old self.

:)

Funny though eh, how it popped up in hospital and gave me some more enjoyment and hope. Helped me not to completely lose a positive attitude. Which would have been easy by the third day of the patient behind me (feet in my face, just about) detoxing. And he was just the start of my troubles, as I somewhat covered in my essay above.


> Your payback is spot on. Never heard of Midnight
> Shine. Now will never forget them. I love his
> voice. I love his face. Beautiful. He transcends
> the song for me like Grace did with I Can See
> Clearly Now. When he switched to the Mushkegowuk
> language the sudden glint in the people's eyes and
> the punch to their smiles to hear that beauty in
> their own language just melted me. You could see
> their temperatures raise a degree. I felt like
> part of them for a moment. Music unites.
> Beautiful man. Beautiful voice.

This is a lovely paragraph Done & Done. You describe a reaction I share as I listen (over and over) to this man whose voice has me hooked forever. I'm addicted - fortunately to something so positive.

Beauty indeed.

Love Neil Young's song and tune and amazingly it's enhanced by the Cree verse. Doesn't the singer look so very happy as he launches into his own language and yes, his voice is lovely.


> I will raise a pickle to your good health tonight.

Haha. May need more than one. I saw a specialist on Thursday and there have been significant complications (due to prolonged flu but also the extreme dehydration that occurred; looks like I should have been less patient about waiting out the three weeks I read that the flu can last - too long without hydration - knocked out my kidneys. OK, so I won't do that again. Next time, I'll be knocking on the dr's door tout suite as they say in French Canada - hope I spelled that right).

I'm craving fewer pickles now. I take that as a measure of better health returning. I hope.

Here's to you, D&D (with whatever your "tipple" is).

I was wondering how you are doing. Thanks for the update.

I'm so glad you are finally coming out of that. What an awful experience all around. I'm glad your brother was able to help too.


Loved the music.

So sorry, Nightingale, about your ordeal!

I, also assumed you had recovered, and didn't know you had returned to that hell-hole a second time! I hope your mother is OK, too. Thank goodness for your brother.

You mention:

"...fellow RfMers, offering support, compassion, help and info. You can make such a difference to others and may never realize it. I always feel warm and happy when I see posters taking the time to respond to the questions and needs of fellow travellers."

You, dear Nightingale, are one of the RFM leaders, and here's the same warmth and happiness right back at ya!

We're so glad you're back!

My advice is to enjoy some of that missed holiday fun RIGHT NOW. It's still winter, right? And your next Christmas will arrive that much sooner!

(((hugs)))

Nightingale! How awful for anyone to be so horribly sick—but particularly you! It snuck up on you just as you were trying to warn us. It was your admonition that may well have saved many here from the same thing you experienced.

Your warning prompted DH and I to get vaccinations that we have neglected for years. Thank you for that. I hope that you fully regain your strength, and know how adored you are around here.

Nightingale,

So sorry that you were sick over the holidays! (I was in the hospital over my last birthday, so I totally understand the feeling.)

I remember when you warned everyone to get their flu shots. I'd just gotten mine earlier that day, and pestered DH to get his, which he did within a day or two.

Glad you are up and "chirping" again. We love you!!

May the rest of the year be nothing but health and good cheer m'lady.

By the way, I cannot imagine why one of our younger senators who is also a doctor recently went to Canada for hernia surgery. And here I thought the American doctors who did the same procedure on me numerous times did a perfectly competent job. Go figure.

Glad you are back. This place just wouldn't be the same without you.

What a story! It's even worse than Dh's tale of sickness and plague (fungus) he got during hospital stays at a renown California hospital. You get the endurance award.

So sorry you went through this. I wish you good health and happiness from now on--you deserve it and you've earned it.

Glad you are back, Nightingale. My own experience of the worst sickness I have had in years gives me an inkling of what you went through.

dagny, exMinion, kathleen, catnip, Shummy, Phantom Shadow, kentish: Thank you all so much for your kind comments. I appreciate hearing from you any time but especially in regards to this. It's nice to know that someone, somewhere, cares, at least a little.

I enjoy your contributions to this board as well and always read what you write, all of you. Don't often get around to responding these days, even before this happened. Life is fraught at the moment in other ways as well.

But there's always RfM. Good for a laugh, an interesting thought, a challenge. And always nice to see familiar names.

Thanks again!

Hokey smoke, BatGirl!

Or is that hokey smoke, Bullwinkle? I always confuse those two.

Glad you are now properly watered, and navigating under your own steam.

Thanks for the native musical selections. I didn't realize Buffy St Marie had gone back to her roots. I got a good exposure to native music and speech patterns living in Manitoba, and I wish there was more of it available. CBC Manitoba used to run a bit called "Joe from Winnipeg". The author has recently started making youtube videos as that character after years of not being on the air, so here's a little taste of Ojibwe accent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqGyrRwzPLg&t=4s

BTW, miigwetch (his signoff word) is Ojibwe for Thanks.

BoJ: Must dash. Catch ya later...

I'm finally getting back. I know it's stale-dated now but I said I'd return. Also, I'm still in the throes of my Very Terrible Christmas, mulling over everything that happened, so am still thinking about what I wrote about what all happened and what everybody replied - and I appreciate every comment. I need to give my head a shake and move on but when recovery is slow it's hard to do. Like with any traumatic experience of any sort, as many of us know well.

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hokey smoke, BatGirl!

I know. Smash - out of the blue. Knowing how life is - fraught - you'd think we'd be less surprised when things go south. But it's harder to cope when one day is normal and the next is completely derailed without warning.

> Glad you are now properly watered, and navigating
> under your own steam.

Thanks. Me too. Slow going though. Wake-up call, absolutely, to pay more attention to myself. It's not selfish to look after one's own welfare (as is all too often inculcated into us from birth) but merely a very good idea to maintain independence for as long as humanly possible.

> Thanks for the native musical selections. I didn't
> realize Buffy St Marie had gone back to her roots.
> I got a good exposure to native music and speech
> patterns living in Manitoba, and I wish there was
> more of it available. CBC Manitoba used to run a
> bit called "Joe from Winnipeg". The author has
> recently started making youtube videos as that
> character after years of not being on the air, so
> here's a little taste of Ojibwe accent.

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqGyrRwzPLg&t=4s

> BTW, miigwetch (his signoff word) is Ojibwe for
> Thanks.

I'm so glad I happened to hear that music on CBC Radio and looked it up. Totally hooked on the video and sound. Love the drumbeat. Life in Manitoba sounds like it was interesting for you. Thanks for the link. There is a lot of richness in the culture that many of us have not yet explored. I'm glad that more prominence is being given to it these days.


PS: Forgot to mention the very thing I intended most to say. Reading your account on my first thread about my illness about your own terrible encounter with the flu (pneumonia, hospitalized x 1 month!) I was thinking how awful, how harsh, how brutal, how unexpected. Then BAM. Happened to me too, except I was in for much less time, although it seemed like 10 years. The time before I went into ER, the time between the two ER visits, was certainly almost tougher than I could take. And the lingering effects are also hard to accept and live with. Multiple ongoing MD visits, care plan to adhere to (not my strong suit when it comes to myself), changes.

At least I didn't develop pneumonia.

There's always something to be thankful for. Well, usually...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/04/2019 02:06PM by Nightingale.

I'm glad you are well, Nightingale. We need you.

Thanks, Lot's Wife, for your kind comment. I appreciate it.

I read all your posts and learn a lot. They get me thinking (often needing to really stretch my little grey cells) so you're doing good work on my behalf. :)

My holidays pale in comparison to yours. My heart ached reading your sickness troubles. So glad you're on the mend now.
And yes, often others never know what encouragement and soothing balms their words are to us. Happy to see you shared and thanked a "vessel."

**For me, it's Amyjo. She is the bee's knees to me.

And Elder Berry cracks me up.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/26/2019 02:47PM by lisadee.

Yes, indeed. Time moves swiftly around here and it's often the case we don't specifically thank other posters for their replies to us or for all the posts to others that touch us in some positive way.

There are, and have been, countless posters here who have helped me through the years, those whose accounts of church life enlighten, amuse, encourage, teach, commiserate, inspire and touch many readers. I hope they realize it in some measure at least. It's amazing how many people we can know only through board names but they can have had profound effects on us and some we will never forget, many who have moved on in various ways.

I wish I could always get back to respond to each post that people took the time to write, especially on my own threads or that at least I would have told others when they say something extra helpful, even if it's just to provide a laugh for a day, or when they've been especially helpful. Not totally doable. We can only hope that people take it as a given that their input is helpful and appreciated, often by numerous others they will never know.

For example, I hope past posters like Deenie and flattop knew they were loved and appreciated here at RfM.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/04/2019 01:48PM by Nightingale.

Dear Nightingale,

I am so sorry to hear of your ordeal and so glad you are improving, albeit slowly.

You don't know me. I used to frequent this board often, when the emotional wounds of my mormon experience were fresher. I never had the guts to pick a screen name and stick to it, though. I don't get back here much these days, being preoccupied with new challenges in my life and feeling like many of those old LDS-induced wounds have now effectively scabbed over.

I want to let you know that during the time I was here a lot, I went through a crisis regarding my dad's medical issues. Out of the blue, I got word that he was clinging to life by a thread and I was thousands and thousands of miles away from him and was simply beside myself with shock, anxiety and grief. I posted here and you responded with such compassion, including sort of a cyber-version of being with me for a recitation of Psalm 23 that proved comforting to me. I have tears in my eyes as I type this, remembering the kindness a virtual stranger offered and how it gave me something to cling to while I was in such a dark place. Your post that night was as helpful as anything could have been in that moment and I will never forget it.

I am sending the very best, most potent good vibes to you for a complete and increasingly speedy recovery! Thank you for being here!

Hello grateful. Thank you so much for your kind words. It's good to hear that even grievous wounds can "scab over". Of course, with negative experiences the scabs can easily come away and pain returns. Hopefully, we can learn to deal with it. As you say, there are always new challenges too that at least may serve to send our attention in different directions. Life can seem like one long obstacle course. Hopefully there are enough refreshment tables along the way to help us get through as best possible.

It's good to know that something I said was of some help to you at such a tough time in your life. You must have made it seem OK for me to offer a biblical thought as I don't usually do that here, out of deference to the reality of how negative religion has been in the lives of so many readers and posters. I hope things turned out OK for you.

Thank you for your "potent good vibes", in turn. I am still in need of them and in any case would take them any day. I'm glad you read my post. It's good to hear from you. I've got tears now, thinking of yours, and mine too when my dad was taken ill suddenly and passed away before I had a chance to say the good-bye I would have wished.

I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. All the best to you.

Nightingale, your ordeal sounds like a horrible nightmare. I'm so glad you survived and are on the mend.

I hate to be clinical (I AM thoroughly sympathetic), but did your doctors mention what strain of influenza (or gastric virus) hit you?

scmd1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nightingale, your ordeal sounds like a horrible
> nightmare. I'm so glad you survived and are on
> the mend.

Thank you so much. Me too.


> I hate to be clinical (I AM thoroughly
> sympathetic), but did your doctors mention what
> strain of influenza (or gastric virus) hit you?

It's OK. I understand you getting clinical. :)

Good question. No they didn't. I didn't even think to ask. Just whatever was going around in Nov/Dec here is what I assumed. Here's what the local bulletin says (A/H1N1):


http://www.bccdc.ca/resource-gallery/Documents/Statistics%20and%20Research/Statistics%20and%20Reports/Epid/Influenza%20and%20Respiratory/2017-2018/InfluBulletin_Number4_Week47_201819.pdf


No reason to assume I contracted anything other than that, I guess. I also don't think they actually tested me for the strain. It wouldn't have seemed that important to them. They just took the history from me and I basically "diagnosed" myself as I had all the relevant symptoms. So when I first went to the walk-in clinic (for the first time, had never seen that GP before as I have my own but this was an emergency by then and I couldn't travel to my GP's office which is much further away) I said "I have had flu for three weeks". Not to get too clinical or personal myself but here goes: I added that it had seemed to start out as a UTI but that faded away and the flu symptoms became predominant. He latched right onto the UTI part and did the basic office test to confirm that diagnosis and gave me an Rx that night. I told him that by then I could not even keep water down so didn't think I'd be able to keep down the pills. He said "you've got to find a way". All righty then. The pharmacist reassured me that after just two pills I would feel much better.

The trouble, as I feared, turned out to be that by then the flu symptoms were so bad I made myself more ill that entire night by trying to swallow a pill and more water. So another night and day went by and finally I could keep down one pill for a few hours but meanwhile was getting severely dehydrated from 3+ wks of GI distress (top to bottom) and exhausted from so much nausea and vomiting and no sleep. That GP consigned me to three more appalling days of the worst symptoms ongoing after three weeks of it already. That's when I lost all hope and thought I wasn't going to make it. It's a total last resort for me to go to ER but finally I gave up on the oral Rx and just like seeing a mirage in the desert I began to dream/hallucinate about getting IV fluids. I knew that was what I needed but my brain wasn't so clear by then. I should have bypassed the walk-in clinic and gone to ER four days earlier.

Bottom line: Due to the prolonged UTI (3+ wks) and severe dehydration my kidneys suffered and that is what is lingering now, not bouncing back too quickly.

So, wow. I sure learned the hard way. It's just that I had read that the flu can take up to three weeks to clear and so I resigned myself to waiting until then, expecting to get better without needing an MD. I didn't see any point in going in with flu - what can they do? It was fortunate for me that my brother kept checking on me and ended up driving me to Emerg. If I'd been left on my own, not only could I not have driven myself there by then but I wasn't thinking clearly at that point either. Although I was so thirsty I knew I needed help. I try not to feel upset towards the walk-in dr but I was clearly dehydrated when I saw him but he focused on the simple UTI solution (lab and Rx) and didn't hear/listen when I described other significant symptoms. I even said to him "I feel way more ill than just a UTI". The ER MD even said, which I knew already, that if I couldn't keep down oral meds he would have to admit me. That's what I thought the first guy would say.

But in the end, it's my responsibility. I made assumptions (that I was wrong about the UTI, as the symptoms seemed so mild and seemed to disappear as the flu took over) and maybe didn't impart the info well enough. Too, in ER and even on the ward once they found me a bed, I saw a different MD every day and so I think continuity of care was somewhat interrupted. Some things seemed lost in translation.

But now I'm in regular touch with my own GP, who I totally trust and love, and I'm going in the right direction now. Although have caught a cold, boo hoo, so am taking it easy as wow, that alone can make you feel quite sick.

Now I have even more compassion for patients. I didn't fully appreciate before how things are on the other side of the bed, so to speak. Pretty awful at times.

Hope all is well with you, scmd1.

Aww, Nightingale, that is way too much to go through. I hope that you are feeling better now. What is it with ER lights, by the way? If you weren't already feeling miserable those bleak, harsh lights would put you over the edge.

Thanks, summer. Yes, slowly getting over it all, emphasis on slowly, to my surprise. Because I didn't want to go to the dr with "flu" I ended up more ill than may have happened otherwise, I guess.

Re the hospital lights - absolutely - that was one of the major negatives of the hospital experience, over and above feeling so ill. I understand that in the assessment areas they need the lights, obviously. Glaring bright overhead lighting that burns relentlessly. If you're lucky enough to get a cubicle in ER they can adjust the lights when you're settled and not being examined or treated at that moment. If you end up in the corridor, as I did for three nights the first time and a couple the second time I had to go in, the lights are on 24/7 because it's a hallway, not a treatment area. A working thoroughfare, busy as heck. Hence the total lack of privacy or down time, just an eternal progression of people passing back and forth. It is literally a hallway behind the acute care ER area, complete with fire doors that people go in and out of endlessly. There are a few nurses assigned to the patients lined up in the beds on one side of the corridor and they sit at their computers set up on bedside tables. When I was there at Christmas/New Yr's (busy time!) the stretchers lined the entire (long) hallway, end to end. NO PRIVACY. (No bedside curtains, for instance). Thank goodness I was ambulatory and I could get myself back and forth to the washroom as I still had the usual GI flu symptoms. Some folks had to do their business at the bedside or in bed. SO glad I could care for myself in that way.

It started out being a stopgap measure when overcrowding became a big issue in our hospitals. Now it's a regular way of coping (as it takes so many years and so much money to build new facilities; we haven't kept up with population increases and more demand).

It was most unfortunate to have that very disruptive patient there (right behind my stretcher) who kept us all awake with his noisy complaining and demanding 24/7 x 3 whole days/nights. I would have thought they could find a way to get him to a different location to give the rest of us a break. It didn't seem to me that he needed ER nursing care as his condition was far from critical. He was on oxygen though but kept insisting on turning it up to 100%. He fought with the nurse all night long on that point alone (as well as demanding morphine and other contentious issues). The nurse muttered to me that "he's going to blow this place up once of these days". Not a comment to encourage peaceful sleep for me!

I ended up telling the nurse on the third night that I couldn't stand it another minute - I felt I was going to start screaming and not be able to stop (not like my usual quiet self!) because of such prolonged illness, dehydration, starvation and almost no sleep for days on end. Then going to Emerg with the lights, the cold, the noise, actually eventually made me feel much worse. Finally they found me an actual bed on a ward (for about 20 minutes! Then the hospital MD just sent me home - only to end up having to return in a few days due to ongoing illness - as I've said).

When I returned, and went through the whole thing all over again, waiting for hours in ER, then hours in the hallway again just to get an IV that I was gagging for (again) but after a day or so there I was thrilled to get a cubicle (your desires and expectations certainly come to earth with a thud in a hurry) except it was freezing in there, literally cold air blowing right on my head, and nobody knew how to turn it off. Surely some other patient would have noticed it and mentioned it before, you'd think, as it was unbearable. They brought me five blankets (well, thin flannel sheets that they call blankets) and I was still shivering. I asked every single person who came into the area to please turn off the air conditioning, including dietary aides and janitors (I know, it's not their job but I was desperate). Finally they had to get an engineer to come in, who had to climb into the ceiling for a while but eventually the arctic blast stopped and then I thought I won't ask for anything else again (for a while, ha).

You'd think if you were feeling so ill you wouldn't notice or care about all these other things but it wasn't like that for me. And it's hard for me to complain or ask people to go out of their way for me as I usually just put up with stuff. I ended up feeling, though, that if I could just sleep I would start to get better. (It didn't help that if I did finally fall asleep they would wake me up to check my blood pressure - such a cliche but it happened every night I was there).

Then it was New Yr's Eve and I was starting to think I was going to make it after all - the IV fluids were like magic - I started to eat again a bit and even had a (free) TV in the cubicle, all ready to watch somebody's party as I couldn't be at my own. Finally, peace, food, fluids, quiet, warmth, soft lighting, free TV, and a book I even felt like looking at. Suddenly a woman who didn't ID herself came in and abruptly told me to get up. She started wheeling my stretcher out of the room, saying "You're getting a different bed". "Great" I thought, a better, more comfy bed? NO! She took me straight back to the dreaded corridor again! They gave my cubicle to another patient (more deserving, more ill, I guess) and I was back in Stretcher Hell, noisy, bright lights, no privacy, no TV. Wah. And that was my New Yr's. Disappointing. (Understatement).

When we talk of the great medical care in Canada we are referring to the staff's dedication and knowledge and the high quality of medical knowledge and resources in general. The "bed shortage" is legendary though, which obviously leads to a lower standard of care than one would wish for. I had to adjust my expectations (although I thought they were pretty basic) and then I just got out as soon as I could dress and walk away.

In my case, it was not conducive to quick recovery. As soon as they removed my IV I got dressed and departed! Fortunately, I was able to do that and I knew it would be OK by then, even though the MD wanted to keep me a few days longer.

If only they could have turned down the lights I may have been able to tolerate a couple more days. :)

Hey Nightingale. Sorry to hear of your medical odyssey from hell....and glad I got the flu shot early. Would not have wanted to brave the Lethbridge ER and it's loons and junkies with the flu. Hoping you get back too 100% soon.

Good plan re the flu shot. I am definitely First in Line in 2019. That's my new motto in life.

Hell is right.