…between testimony-givers, because no one felt like going up and bearing their testimony?

Did your bishop scold the ward for its lack of spirit?

Which is worse: bizarre “testimonies” or the long, awkward silences of a tired, bored ward?

One bishop we had let us go home if there was a 10 mi ute silence.

Next bishop insisted we stay the full time. He'd call on people if no one stood. One day he called an older gentleman who'd dosed off. The guy sheepishly went up to the pulpit, looked around and said a quick closing prayer. We all scrambled to leave before the bishop could stop us.

Hilarious! I would have liked that guy!!!

There were always long silences then the same old women would get up every month and sob for 10 minutes about how hard life was.

I even asked one once why she went up every time. She said she felt moved by the HG .... every single time FFS. :(

Funny story, Heartless!

Our Utah wards would actually have people still waiting in line for the mike, when the meeting was closed.

Our California wards had the long silences. We always had to go the full time. A few times the conductor would invite the congregation to "contemplate" what the church meant in their lives, and feel gratitude in their heart, etc. If the silence went on too long, a member of the bishopric would get up and start preaching, to fill the time. The silences were hardly conducive to meditation--there were babies crying, people whispering, coughing and sneezing like the plague was upon us.
Friends were not allowed to sit together, but one friend and I would bolt to the door after the closing prayer, to see which one of us got out the door first.

Funny! Add to all that the agony of your stomach growling in starvation, after fasting. Maybe that's why the little kids were crying.

exminion Wrote:
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> Friends were not allowed to sit together

What! They wouldn't let you sit together? Well that at least I never heard of in my ward!

It probably depended on the level of maturity whether friends can sit next to each other.

We were very childish and immature as 12 year old deacons. To the point that we really needed the quorum adviser to sit between us. We were a bunch of squirrels that goofed off.

-We messed up each other's hair during the opening prayer
-We knocked the hymn books out of each other's hand during the singing
-One boy would burp during the SM prayer
-Rip off the clip on tie and throw it in the pew behind (no sane person dared to sit behind us- it was reserved for Melchizedek priesthood holders to smack us with hymn books

Then there was the flinch game where you punched the arm of the kid next to you. OMG- that would go on forever!

Oh and the bishopric was extremely displeased about us piss ants.

We were rarely dismissed to sit with our families. This was a punishment for being irreverent. We would be held after SM; even the extra-long F and T to be told how unhappy Heavenly Father was.

Maybe it wouldn't be so boring were someone to pass out pea shooters next time so at least the kids could have something to do to pass the time away instead of wiggling in their seats.

What a way to build anxiety, I do indeed remember those.

My mother would build up into a religious fervor to the point of shaking, she'd screw up all her nerve and go up.

Fuck.

It's always something with these people.

Generally our F&T meeting went like this....

1. The initial rush of the enthusiastic as soon as the meeting opened.

2. Long embarrassing silences where members would have their heads bowed as though in contemplation but were trying to look round unnoticed to see if anybody was going to get up.
Eventually somebody would go up and break the silence and usually scold the rest of us for wasting the lord's time.

3. About 5 minutes before the meeting was due to finish, everybody suddenly decided they wanted to get up and there'd be a long line at the stand of people wanting to bear their testimony and the meeting would invariably run over time.

It wasn't a F&T meeting, but it was a stake conference where the stake president was calling on a few of the younger members to bear their testimonies. I always hated this as it put so people on the spot and negated their free agency as far as I was concerned. Unfortunately, the then stake president arose and called my name to come up. I was sitting with my mother and she started laughing under her breath and punched me to get up. Let me add that my father was the stake president's first counselor and was sitting right there beside him looking at me. Well, this really infuriated me and I just sat there. Everyone was looking at me and I just kept shaking my head "no". My mother was mortified as she was always concerned with what others thought. My dad was staring at me, but finally decided to end the stare-off and whispered "something" to the stake president and it was over. That has always been the best moment of my life as I had always been very obedient and always followed the rules. I dared not buck the system...until then. That was more than 40 years ago, so I was definitely labeled a rebel way back then! I will also add that after conference was over, I felt like a hero as quite a number of females rallied around me supporting my actions...females only, of course. I didn't realize it then, but now I can see that was the beginning of my leaving the Mormon church. (I will also add that neither of my parents ever addressed that defining moment with me in any form or fashion.)

blakes Wrote:

> I just sat there.

Great stuff, Blakes!!! So glad for your small victory then and for your being out now!!!

All the time.

Absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!

that a teacher would carry around to whoever stood up. This was before the 3 hour schedule. Yes, there were long pauses. No one in my family was ever moved to stand up.

Did your bishop scold the ward for its lack of spirit?

-Absolutely.

And then there would be a flurry of members tripping over themselves to be the first to redeem the ward with their terrible testiphony-blubber-thon.

I HATED it because it pushed the hour of sacrament closer to 90 minutes. The bishop loved it. He delighted in people looking miserable while some prune went on and on about her mighty grandchildren doing so well in Zion.

It's probably why I really hated the church. A bunch of priesthood pricks that mistreated members and no other "higher ups" would call them out to correct their deeds. Remember, that members were wrong for feeling that they were treated harshly or unfairly.

I don't remember this happening at the ward on campus when I was in college, but every other ward I've attended was like that at least half of the time.

Yeah...my childhood to late teen ward, Lethridge 3rd...the silence was golden to me...until the next blubbering fool stood up and embarrassed themselves.

I'd go for the silence over the long and stupid.