Tommy S. Monson, his counselors, and the rest of the Quorum of the Twelve were presumed to have disappeared in the Second Coming of MormonJesus, as were the entire Quorum of the Seventies, all Temple Presidents, most Stake Presidents, Mission Presidents, and all of their wives.

Many Bishops, Relief Society Presidents and Aaronic Priesthood Quorum Presidents had also been reported missing.

Throughout Zion, in the twinkling of an eye, where two or three had been gathered together, there was one or none.

The skylines of the world’s cities were irretrievably altered on that fateful day when LDS temples across the globe all folded themselves into grotesque spaceships and flew to join the formation of saucers departing Salt Lake City for their home star Kolob.

Even the wooden and plaster temples of Fundamentalist Mormon compounds hidden throughout rural North America managed to find their way skyward and join the ominous exodus.

By Executive Order, the President of the United States placed all remaining property of the Mormon Church, its offshoots and derivatives, under the guardianship of the Federal Courts.

The Mormon rank-and-file languished for a time without “official” leadership, but soon, through the guidance of court appointed counselors, local congregations were able to draft written bylaws by which they agreeably organized and governed themselves in a fair, democratic and transparent process.

The Church’s assets were auctioned off or converted to affordable public housing and local congregations were granted the property deeds to their ward chapels.

Some of the money was used to establish perpetual trusts for the benefit of the Exmormon Foundation to support those in transition from Mormonism, and for the benefit of other charities which truly provided for the relief of widows and orphans, the aged and infirm.

Some of the proceeds from the sale of the Mormon Church’s assets were used to transform the gaping black holes where the LDS Temples had been into beautiful public parks.

Today, at the park at the site of the destroyed Salt Lake City Temple, families and lovers relax and play on broad green lawns among fountains, trees and flowers.

If you are ever there, you should visit the memorial placed near where the Holy-of-Holies once stood.

There you will find a humble monument (privately funded) which consists of a simple plaque listing the names of the five brave Apostates who…

Saved The Planet Earth from MormonJesus!


ziller

I love a good ending.