I just recalled some observations about interviews from a mia maid friend when I was a teacher (about 14 at the time), She was asking if our (the boys) interviews started with a prayer and I answered yes.

So she asked a follow up question. "Do you have to kneel down in prayer?" And again I told her yes. At this point, I was confused and a little bit annoyed that she wasn't satisfied with my answers.

She continued. "Do they make you kneel down next to them; along the wall where there's a row of chairs?"

And my answer finally got what she was after. "No- I kneel next to the chair in front of the bishop's desk. He (a member of the bishopric) kneels across from me on the other side."

Another young woman had been overhearing our conversation and was eager to chime in her thoughts. She said that she didn't feel comfortable kneeling down next to them (the bishopric). She also mentioned that after the prayer, the men would always stay kneeling while the young women were encouraged to get up first. She admitted that she kept her eyes open during the prayer because she felt afraid.

This entire dialogue was transpiring in the back of a 1980's station wagon. The YW advisor that was driving us back to our homes following a service project finally honed in on our conversation. She admonished us to stop talking about church interviews because it was irreverent. I think the sister didn't want to believe her ears that the girls were possibly being groomed.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/21/2019 09:23PM by messygoop.

The bishop I had in my teens--12 on up--asked about masturbation, necking and petting. I didn't know what they meant, but the way he said them, I knew they were bad. My sister pointed out to me that he would wait for us and stare us down--to change our answers.

I didn't deal well with these interviews. When I was young, I don't think our parents knew what they asked. One of my VTs years ago who was 10 years older than me said they didn't have these interviews when she was young.

I had them twice a year and then 4 times a year for dance cards. The questions were just as bad for dance cards. He was a sickening man. He was my good friend's father. He knew enough about me that I certainly wasn't necking and petting. I'm sure I could have been masturbating, but I didn't have a clue what it was.

Thankfully, I never had a bishop who had a prayer before the interview that I can remember, but you never know. I do tend to suppress these situations.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/21/2019 09:57PM by cl2.

Wow!

I never had an opening prayer for worthiness interviews! No wonder I was able to lie straight-faced while he cried!

. . . but still you looked to find a reason to believe, I suppose.

Please tell Sis. scmd1 that I authorized double dessert for you tonight.

No way. She'll want to share, and I'm hungry.

I don't remember having a worthiness interview until I had to meet with the bishop before going to BYU.

Before my baptism at age 12 the worthiness interview was more about whether or not I believed in the BofM (which I hadn't read) and if I believed the prophet was God's choice to lead the church.

The most in-depth questioning I got about purity was simply "Do you live the law of chastity?" end of questioning.

I think this had a lot to do with our bishops and other members being converts like us. It was a small midwestern branch. I don't think these adults had ever had the Utah version of a worthiness interview so they never gave one. Maybe if I'd joined TSCC in Utah I would have left a lot sooner. Those kind of interviews would have made me angry.

My prayer left a lot to be desired according to mormon standards. I prayed wrong as did my parents (but at least we had regular prayers: at the dinner table and before/after travelling).

My follies:

Dear God - Not Heavenly Father

Asking before thanking

Not asking to bless the current prophet (I once asked Kimball to be blessed some 6 months after he had died and ETB was the new prophet :D

Using all the common language (You and yours, not thee, thou and thine)

Oh and the worst one according to every PH leader:

In Jesus' name (No!!!! It is in the name of Jesus Christ)

And to think after being told that I gave the most irreverent prayer in history, the youth interview moved on to greater things like pornography and masturbation.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/22/2019 12:26AM by messygoop.

"thee" "thou" and other forms of Elizabethan English are somehow more reverent and respectful than modern English.

Of course the "thou"s and "thee"s were never originally regarded as particularly honorific forms of language. In Shakespeare, phrases like "thou art a fiend" indicate that you could as easily use the form to address an enemy as to address a friend.

But Mormons want their prayers to sound like the scriptures. And the "scriptures" for Mormons are the King James Bible and the other nonsense that Joseph Smith pulled out his butt and dressed up in his attempts at mimicking the style of English contained in the KJ version of the Bible.

Just one of many examples of how Mormons confuse their misunderstood customs with concepts like morality and reverence.

Another weird one is the Mormon insistence on folding their arms when they pray. While most other groups of Christians use the clasped hands, signifying a humble pleading gesture, Mormons for some weird reason use the folded arms gesture, which is more often a signifier of defiance or resistance outside the Mormon world.

I sincerely believe ghawd impressed upon Joseph Epstein, Jr. that folding their arms during prayer would provide women's breasts the support he so longed to give them.

lol!!!

I knew I didn't pray like everyone else. I can't get up in front of people and say all these flowery phrases so everyone thinks I'm holy. So I refused to pray in church. When my husband would be asked to give the opening and I was asked to give the closing, I always said no. So during some interview not long after I got married, the bishop told me to practice since I had said I wouldn't pray in church. I never did pray in church after that day and very seldom before that.

Once my roommate, as a joke between she and my "boyfriend" (eventualy husband) got up to announce in R.S. (she was president) that I would be giving the opening prayer. I went ahead and gave it, but I wasn't happy about it and I let them both know.

I never prayed in front of my husband and maybe once in front of my children, so that is why my husband is still gay (tongue in cheek).

I'm not one for praying any longer, but the most heartfelt prayers I ever heard were by people who didn't use the flowery language. I HATE public prayers. They always come out sounding fake.

I don't recall even having prayers when doing interviews with the bishop. (There may have been a time or two, but nothing memorable.) We definitely didn't kneel or do anything dramatic like that.

I think most of my bishops when I was young were decent, overworked guys who didn't really want to be bishops. I suspect that they hated having to hear people's confessions about masturbation, porn and whatever else it is that people confess about to their bishops. For pervs, I guess being a bishop can be like a dream come true. For guys who aren't pervs and who have demanding, time-consuming jobs in the real world, in addition to family responsibilities, the bishop job must be a nightmare at times. Part of them knows that they have to be interested in the "spiritual welfare" of members of their congregation and play the role of a concerned and caring authority figure. But another part of them is probably constantly screaming: "Whoa! Too much information! Too much information! I really, really did not want to know that about cucumbers."

growing up in the 90s my bishop started asking sexual questions when I was 12. I felt it was inappropriate, bad, and I hated it. But looking back now as an older person I've become aware of the fact that there are a lot of young people who are into all kinds of advanced and dangerous things at young ages. Many have no concept or don't care about the mistakes they can make that can affect their lives.

What is a religion to do? It comes down hard on the nice kids and violates their innocent sensibilities, yet rough kids continue in their dirty stunts unaffected. The recent changes to the interview process are a step in the right direction. Another adult in the room is a necessity.

training in counseling the youth who talks to them about these things. It should be the parent OR a therapist.

The damage these interviews do is far reaching. I never did anything and yet I was exposed to these interviews. To me, it is emotional rape. What I went through when I found out my "ex" is gay (before we married) was criminal. I lived in FEAR of these interviews and yet I never had anything to confess.

It isn't up to the churches to keep track of the rebellious kids. Many of the rebellious are the ones who are now TBMs in my family. So how is it that talking to a bishop about what they were doing in their teens helped out? It didn't. They went on doing it until they were older.

+1

Needs to be a trained counselor and not some John Doe off the street who thinks anything he says comes from "the spirit" just because it's says "Bishop" on the door. Can't believe macaRomney is still championing the Mormon church on RFM and thinks this is actually a good thing for the kids.

These so-called worthiness interviews never helped anyone to anything except a big helping of guilt. This isn't about steering kids in the right direction. The interviews are about judgement and guilt as control tactics.

Kneeling and praying ? Never heard of it. LD$ Inc.keeps piling on more bullshit to make people feel worthless.

I work in a youth organization... and if a middle aged man took a child into a side room by themselves and started asking questions of a sexual nature... CPS and the Police would be there shutting down shop... My question is how does a religious organization get away with that kind of abuse? Worthiness interviewers need to drop the sexual questions! If they are vessels of Gawd ... and Gawd knows everything... shouldn't they be interviewing Gawd for the answers... luckily for me my parents were opposed to the whole interview process, so I never had to go through that...

shylock Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My question is how does a
> religious organization get away with that kind of
> abuse?

It conditions/brainwashes member to trust (never question the motives of the leaders. Members thrive on ideas that interviews are the lord's way and not the way of the world. Worthiness was part of being Mormon. It was the only way to progress toward immortality.

I personally would not have wanted a parent sitting in during the sexual questioning. It would have been my Mom and she would have sided against me!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2019 03:35AM by messygoop.

messygoop Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> She continued. "Do they make you kneel down next
> to them; along the wall where there's a row of
> chairs?"
>
> And my answer finally got what she was after. "No-
> I kneel next to the chair in front of the bishop's
> desk. He (a member of the bishopric) kneels across
> from me on the other side."
>
> Another young woman had been overhearing our
> conversation and was eager to chime in her
> thoughts. She said that she didn't feel
> comfortable kneeling down next to them (the
> bishopric). She also mentioned that after the
> prayer, the men would always stay kneeling while
> the young women were encouraged to get up first.
> She admitted that she kept her eyes open during
> the prayer because she felt afraid.
>
> ...
>
> I think the
> sister didn't want to believe her ears that the
> girls were possibly being groomed.


I must be missing something. Can you explain how is this grooming?

What is grooming?

Please read

https://www.bark.us/blog/grooming-signs-sexual-predators/

Nothing like these interviews when I was growing up in the 50s and 60s. It's hard to imagine Bishop Anderson asking questions like those asked today. He would have curled up and died first.

My pre-mission interviews--can't remember much but nothing about sexual stuff. Did I have a serious boyfriend? No, I'd just broken it off with him a week before the interview. My serious sin admitted to? I was behind paying my tithing. They took me anyway. Same before temple recommend interview before getting married. Stake President Kimball was a bit more intimidating than my old bishop--but I wasn't about to admit to any improprieties. The invitations had already been sent out.

There are some of us who reminisce how we grew up in a golden age in the church. Certainly those who were around in this era can testify to that. Still, even with roadshows and Golden Green Balls and RS bazaars, it wasn't that fabulous.

If you were older, then it was easy to miss the church's new direction in the early 1980s. I think it was pressed upon leaders that sins of the youth would be upon the heads of the leaders if they weren't probing enough. My bishop routinely asked awful questions. I think it easily led to gross perceptions of love and sex; very harmful.

The film was called Morality for Youth.

An accident on a youth rafting trip is used to illustrate the dangers of flirting with immorality.

Includes audio of LDS Church President Spencer W. Kimball urging against masturbation as it can lead to "exhibitionism" and "the gross sin of homosexuality".

This film was part of a major undertaking by the Church to educate their youth better about proper sexual conduct and was not made or displayed lightly. The presentation included a booklet for leaders to use to guide group conversation after watching the film (this booklet can be seen at the following link: https://imgur.com/a/YqcrX)

I won't link it up because I don't want anyone to be easily triggered.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2019 03:55AM by messygoop.