I was at a festival and saw someone from church. I mentioned middle school daughter was hanging out with friends including boys. She looked shocked and bothered but then said, “oh well it’s a group so I guess it’s ok.”
Well I wasn’t aware I needed her approval, hahaha. I didn’t think it was a big deal but got to thinking is it not ok for Mormon boy and girls to hang out?

Actual dating is discouraged until the age of sixteen, and even then group or double dating is preferred, but young people of both genders are allowed to hang out in most LDS settings.

They are not allowed to date until they are 16 years old, if I remember correctly. Which means they can’t hang out alone because that is considered “dating”.
Mormons are fanatical about this stuff. Just look at all the strict missionary rules; they can never be alone, but always with a companion.

So true about the missionary rules, starting from when they're "set apart" before going to the MTC, they can't ride in a car with someone of the opposite sex unless it's a parent or actual sibling.

That is crazy.

That's Mormonism. The appearance of evil is the same thing as the real thing.

Elder Berry Wrote:
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> That's Mormonism. The appearance of evil is the
> same thing as the real thing.

Yep. Mormon faulty logic at its finest. In the 1980's, smoking was permitted inside most "family oriented" restaurants like Mickey D's and Dennys. If you said that you grabbed a bite to eat, no priesthood leader would accuse you of being under the influence of Stan to break the WoW.

However, the Sunday School teacher was trying to make his point about how wrong it was to ever set foot in a bar. And I freely admitted to stopping in to buy a soda and a sandwich. [Many small towns on the California map only exist because of a bar/grill or tavern]. "Oh no Messy. Never do that. Bars are full of people smoking and drinking. Wickedness prevails and you will be suckered into fire and brimstone."

And I fired back that nobody was there at noon and that the owner was real kind. He shared some neat history about the place and gave us some directions/tips about the hike my Dad and I were planning to attempt that day.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/13/2019 11:28AM by messygoop.

"Oh no Messy. Never do that. Bars are full of people smoking and drinking. Wickedness prevails and you will be suckered into fire and brimstone."

I was taught the dead spirits of addicts also hang out bars trying to possess you to drink or smoke for them.

Strange. Wacky Mormonism.

For example, I was forever reminded that it was never ever proper for a young man to enter a young woman's personal living space~ bedroom (or vice versa). Some parents may take it to a whole new level. I was a 12 year old deacon and I was sitting in the living room waiting for my church friend (also a deacon) while he was in the restroom. His 10 year old sister came into the living room and sat in a chair opposite where I was sitting on the couch. Here comes his mom to tell me that I will have to leave the living room because a boy and girl can't be alone together in the same room. My friend's mom was surprised that I didn't know all the church's rules.

If you really want to see firsthand how much the church frets over proper relations between boys and girls, then checkout "For the Strength of the Youth" pdf. It has over 50 pages about proper relations and why you had better follow the counsel of church leaders; as if a bunch of 90 year olds are experts on youth and their challenges.

Yes I remember this now. The strength of youth will be example of the fanaticism of the mormon church. It’s also true about the bedroom thing. NEVER be alone in a bedroom with a member of the opposite sex. !!

LJ12 Wrote:
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> NEVER be alone in a bedroom with a member of the
> opposite sex. !!

So true in Mormonism. People lose their brains when in situations that appear to be compromising. Without Mormonism "free" agent Mormons become the worse kinds of people taking advantage of every situation they are in...wait, what?

By the time I left, "hanging out" had become something of a taboo phrase. Time and time again, the YSAs in my ward and stake were chastised for "hanging out" when they should be "dating" and getting married.

was to hang out with my friends Lisa and Carol after scouts.

The Church has become such a f..ing disaster.

I'm reminded of my youth...

Is 'cruising' still a thing?


My gaggle of acquaintances cruised Fremont St. in high school.

I've met SoCal people who cruised Whittier Blvd. and Van Nuys Blvd.

And it was prominent in the 1970s movie, "American Graffiti".

Probably many of the older Americanos here had a place to cruise, but what about now?

Here in Utah it was called "dragging Main." But it's not as popular these days because there is so much traffic. Back in my early days the popular thing was to go to wal-mart. In fact there are lots of little towns that it's the only place to go that's not dead or decaying

(way out places like Tooele, Brigham, etc)

I still cruise in my hot rod....but now it's all old guys and we park and BS.

2 individuals constitutes a group;

yet another indication that the GAs are nearly 100% out of sync with social trends of how (esp. younger) individuals are relating to each other And they just don't realise the the narrower they 'draw the lines' the more otherwise faithful many of these folks would be IF JUST LEFT ALONE in social & other non-religious matters.


Oops! with the GAs nearly everything is 'religious'. My Bad.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/13/2019 02:53AM by GNPE.

My parents didn't. We spent time with all the neighborhood kids, boys and girls, all the time. Nothing inappropriate ever happened. (Although it did where my "husband" grew up in Rexburg, Idaho.)

BUT they never thought anything of the husband driving me home from babysitting and I babysat A LOT. I was not comfortable around men and so I didn't particularly like this. But I NEVER hear mormons say anything about that situation.

Then I rode home with a carpool of men to Brigham City rather than taking my carpool to Cache Valley. My parents lived in Brigham. There were 5 mormon men. One of the wives accused me of leaving my lipstick in their car in front of a whole group of women at a coworkers baby shower. The coworker stood up for me. I have never worn lipstick. NEVER. This lady just wouldn't let it go. You would think I had had sex with her husband the way she acted.

cl2 Wrote:
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> You would think I had had sex with her
> husband the way she acted.

I wonder what she would say about your living arrangements. Judgmental people suck and usually are hypocritical when it comes to their personal lives.

The woman in question probably wasn’t getting any.

But mormon women are extremely territorial of their husbands. They struggle to be friends with single women because of this. They are nauseatingly judgmental. It’s hard for me to imagine how they ever truly enjoy life.

I can’t imagine living my life like that now, with so many rules. They live in fear all the time, and then it gets put on the children as well.

It took me 3 years to become married after serving my mission. I was not in a hurry, and wanted to take my time and avoid being foolhardy by marrying somebody I didn't know. So my fiance was from out of state and I had her fly in a few days before the bland temple wedding. She stayed in one of the guest rooms in my parents house. She had complete privacy and we made sure that we were always seen by my parents. There was no hanky-panky going on.

So a week after the wedding/honeymoon, the hometeaching/visiting teacher duo came to make their rounds. It's as if this nosy woman had been chomping at the bit to tear into me and my mother. She started her attack: "So how soon did Sally fly in? A few days--really, huh. So which family did she stay with? Did she stay at a motel?"

This threw my Mom off, but I figured out where she was going. My Mom naively asked what she meant.

"Well, surely you know that it's not proper nor permitted for a young woman to stay in the same house with Messy. They might have been promiscuous and fornicated. That would be embarrassing." She leaned over and gestured that my wife was already expecting a baby.

By this time my hard of hearing father finally figured out what this sister was insinuating. He became upset and told her off. "Where do you get off coming into my home and pointing your finger at my son and his new bride to be! You have no business trying to get into other people's business. Now you had better say a closing prayer and be on your way."

The following Sunday, my Dad was informed that he would have a new hometeacher (a retired highway patrol officer) and that my wife and I would have my own set ht/vt. Stupid bitch continued to gossip that we had fornicated before going to the temple.

if I stayed at his apartment before we got married. I had moved home to Brigham to get away from the situation as it was driving me nuts and then he decided he wanted to get married, so I'd end up going to Logan and spend the evening with him and then he expected me to drive home. I didn't want him coming to my parents' house to spend time. He let me stay once.

BUT he had been having men over all the time he lived there. I wonder what he nonmormon neighbors thought when we got married!! (They were co-habitating and not living together.) I'm sure we drove people nuts then and we still do. I get a kick out of it now.

But the woman who accused me of the lipstick didn't even know me, had never met me before that day. I knew her husband a little bit, but not much. He just happened to be in the carpool. I knew her neighbor very well as I worked with him. Her husband would have laughed. He was quite funny.

I had many people tell me that the divorced woman I worked with in YW was flirting with my husband. One of the neighbor women (her husband worked with my husband) came by and mentioned she had stopped by to talk to my husband while I was at work the prior evening. Then she acted all shocked because she had said that and said, "Oh, I hope that didn't upset you." I always got a good laugh out of those women. The women cheered when he left me. All the ones in the singles ward we had attended and the women in our ward who thought he was perfect and their husbands weren't. You could almost hear it happen. I got the last laugh.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/13/2019 02:02PM by cl2.

"Hanging Out" is a relatively new term for what used to be called 'palling around';

the anal-retentive GAs somehow that that 'hang out' refers to a guy's junk being displayed to attract a female like some displays in the "lower" animal kingdom (peacocks & most other birds, etc).


Why, if guys attracted Mormon gals with a display of their junk, well think of the Horror that would be!

When I was a young adult (early 2000's) the leaders of the Morg began to decry "hanging out," because not enough of us were dating, getting married in the temple and on to their treadmill enduring to the end.

"No fun for you---time to get you serious about earning your living and paying me tithing!!!!!"

I think in many cases the wife is the main one to INSIST on paying tithe;


just me?

Yes, I seem to remember that too. It’s like being single in the mormon church is a sin.
Tbh I think they want people married partly so people don’t go inactive due to wanting (needing) sex. So if you’re single you’re either an abomination to them, or an abomination waiting to happen.

Being single the entire time as a mormon was hell. Not being allowed a normal relationship and there being no eligible men as real prospects felt like being the walking dead. And the longer I remained unmarried the less friends I had. No one could understand why; it didn’t occur to them that maybe I had standards and wouldn’t just marry anyone. Of course, if I’d been more aware of the prejudice against converts, I would never have joined at all. It feels such a huge shame to me that I didn’t realise this properly.

Compare this to my life now: I’m ten years older, a lot of people I’m friends with are my age or older, and this is all considered normal and fine (if not ideal).
I certainly wouldn’t stay over with a guy unless we were in a committed relationship, even if it’s in a different room. But waiting til you’re married? Hell, I’d be divorced if I’d married any boyfriend I’ve had so far!

All these rules bring nothing but misery.