Am I a bad person for bluntly telling cult members my distaste for them and their religion? I just can't take it anymore.

Depends. If you're responding to nosy mormon busybodies, no. But, if you're standing on a street corner during conference yelling stuff-possibly.

I remind myself, when tempted to take out my anger at once being lied to and fleeced by Mormonism on hapless members, that I was once one of them. If you were never a member then I cannot answer your question.

I was once deluded and am quite embarrassed by that fact, especially when many people recognized the scam at a much earlier age than I did.

Can you have pity on them? I once believed it (well, maybe not ALL of it). I don't think a raging ex-member would incite me to understanding. If an ex-member came to me with loving concern about the fact that I was being deceived I'd be more open. But in my deluded state I'd probably just pity them in return.

I thought you were "No Longer Angry". What's up?

I don't connect much with members these days so they don't bother me much. But if a missionary came to my door or a member started trying to bring me back to the fold, I have a host of questions and responses to their remarks at the ready. I think I could be civil and calm.

Telling a Mormon about your distaste for their religion seems logical. But telling a Mormon you have distaste for them on a personal level just gives them more reassurance that you are from the evil side and they exude special spiritual vibes that make a heathen apostate uncomfortable. Don't make them feel special. Make them feel dumb by asking them questions they cannot answer. There are plenty of those when it comes to justifying Mormonism. That's the route I plan to take. And do it with a giant smile.

I was not angry for a while. Then stuff started happening that was bothering me.

Hey, that's why we are here. Except for a few nasty posters who enjoy put downs, this is a great place to get stuff off your mind. It has helped me a lot. Sounds like you are in a place where it's not easy to avoid Mormons and Mormonism. I feel for you.

I live with three of them and right now moving is not an option.

Yikes!!! Three is pretty overwhelming when you've seen the light. We're here for you friend.

Well, then, you've realized your answer. If you live with 3, and you're 1, don't piss them off. Be smart- analyze your situation and tell them off when you're in a better situation. Starting a war, when you know you're at a big disadvantage, is nowhere near being smart.

No problem with it. They get their own brand of obnoxious back.
When commenting on news stories, etc I often put in "dumber than a mormon" or quote choice sermon tidbits from Prophets and GA's - especially on stories involving "lamanites" and blacks. Book of Mormon statement about lazy and loathesome and dark skin so they will not be enticing to "White and Delightsome" as well as "blacks on earth so Satan will have representation" make for interesting posts. Best of all - what I comment on is in the records of LDS,inc for all to check out.

Just ask them how they feel about the founder and his relationship with his foster daughters who were 14, then there is Helen Mar Kimball who was also 14 when she got coerced.

This will quiet them up pretty quick. :)

If I have to spend time with mormon family, I avoid the topic at all costs. Unless they were to start proselyting. But they don’t, because they don’t want to hear what I have to say.

I go back and forth from not caring anymore (there is more to life) to feeling very angry sometimes. I think it helps to focus on your own things, to have my own life and things I care about more.

I think if I were in an angry mood and I drove past a mormon church I’d probably give it the finger. It wouldn’t matter who I was with either. I can’t imagine being around mormons; I would not cope well.

You are stuck where you are for now but I’d have a long term step by step plan to get away. Get far away from the Mormons and build a new life. Then you can be happy. You deserve to be happy.

LJ12 wrote:

>>>"I go back and forth from not caring anymore (there is more to life) to feeling very angry sometimes. I think it helps to focus on your own things, to have my own life and things I care about more."<<<

My wise daughter was giving my granddaughter advice on how to handle snarky clique-members in the seventh grade. My granddaughter's situation was almost identical to my own with the Mormons. She wasn't doing anything wrong or bad, but the girls were trying to make her feel bad about herself, and they deliberately shunned her at school, and didn't invite her to their party, like they usually do. A girl was spreading lies about my granddaughter around the school. In a few days, everything was fine again! It's all fairly normal, unfortunately, here in Utah, as pre-teens try to get a grasp on how social situations can and can not be manipulated, and how to handle power-plays, and what makes a good friend, and what makes an enemy.

The seventh grade clique behavior is almost identical to the behaviors of my 50+year-old Mormon so-called friends in our old ward! One piece of advice my daughter gave was, "Someone who is always making you feel bad, and misunderstanding you, and gossiping about you--is NOT your friend! Concentrate on your nice friends, cousins, and family, who are in your corner."

My granddaughter, and most of us ex-Mormons here on RFM, do have a life. We are busy. We work at whatever we do. Our family relationships are more important than the Mormon cult and those fake Mormon relationships. Church has zero priority with me. The worms living in my lawn are more important to me than the Mormons. The Mormons did nothing to help my grass or my children grow; in fact, they did their best to marginalize us and make us feel bad.

Probably admitting to ourselves that certain Mormons in our lives DESERVE a good railing, in and of itself, helps us recover. Yes, we have every right to fight back! They stole our money and our time, and gave us nothing but disrespect, threats, and doom in return. Knowing this, we can then take the high road and abstain from that Mormon behavior we loathe. I refuse to gossip (except here on RFM--LOL), or talk about religion at all. I don't bother to try to explain to, help, or change Mormons who aren't my immediate family. The truth is, I no longer care enough to step in. If a Mormon has questions, or needs help in leaving, fine, but mostly I just let them be. They are not allowed to cross the boundary of my doorstep, however.

When the adult Mormon leaders physically abused my children, I brought the police in on it, and put a stop to it, and took my children out of the cult. If it gets that bad, we need to protect our children.

I actually cried, the first time my Mormon ward friend across the street had a party, and didn't invite me (shades of junior high school). I was enjoying feeling sorry for myself a little bit; in fact, I was enjoying being alone, totally left alone, and I started working on one of my hobbies, and started to feel pretty darned good! I had the epiphany that it was probably another one of her Tupperware parties, and that I used to be so bored at those, and that I've always hated being hit-up for money. I honestly didn't want to go to another of those parties, for the rest of my life!

It's a waste of time and a waste of breath to rail at the Mormons. Do something else, instead, and anything else would be more worthwhile.

nolongerangry Wrote:
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> Am I a bad person for bluntly telling cult members
> my distaste for them and their religion? I just
> can't take it anymore.

As they now are, you once were; as you now are, they may be.

Keep that in mind.

When you smash your thumb with a hammer, you have no choice but to release the rush of adrenaline somehow---swear a blue streak, do a dance, jump up and down.

The Mormons church did a number on us. Anger is an appropriate response and the rush of that anger has to be released somehow. It doesn't go away on its own. I buried mine for decades but it was all there all along and surfaced. I did swear a blue streak and jumped up and down and hit my fist. That wasn't enough.

What I found is you have to let it out. You need to address the Mormonism that conned you, that robbed you. But what I have also found is that a good bon mot goes a lot further than a rant in the end when you are confronting Mormons. And it will leave you feel like you have had some class.

Here's something to help you build an aresenal:


https://youtu.be/VitU2ZR_-lY