Stake president has told stake leaders in Toronto that the sacrament table is an altar. People bring their sins there when they partake of bread and water and renew their covenants. Is this part of gospel that Dusty Rusty is restoring. I find it leaning to main stream Christianity. Why has it take this long for the Lord to reveal we have not called it an altar. Can’t wait to see what they will decide is a shrine.

You can’t make this stuff up and main stream Mormons have no problem shifting their thinking because Dusty Rusty is prophet.

Mormons don't use the word "Lord" very much, do they?

It was all Heavenly Father when I was a kid...Gawd rarely mentioned

No. They prefer "the Savior"

"My Lord and Savory!"

elderolddog Wrote:
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> "My Lord and Savory!"


Yes

Lord, no!

Jesus Christ

Their made-up shit just keeps on getting better and better.

what goes on around the temple altar ("Oh, Lard, hear the words of my mouth...").

That means it must be too sacred to even talk about. What happens in the temple, stays in the temple. So "what happens in sacrament meeting, stays in sacrament meeting" should also apply.

BTW, is anyone else bothered by the complete cycle of symbolism associated with the sacrament?

First there is the cannibalism symbolism. Everyone gets that. The bread is the body or flesh of Jesus and the red wine (i.e. water in Mormondom) is the blood of Jesus. That's weird enough.

But what happens to that imbibed sacred sacramental water about 1 or 2 hours after sacrament meeting? That's right. Flush, flush and down into the sewer it goes.

And what happens to that ingested sacred sacramental bread within a day or so after sacrament meeting? That's right. It turns into s__t and...flush, flush...down into the sewer it goes...unless you have a septic tank.

That symbolism is disturbing. No wonder Jesus hasn't come back yet. I don't think any of this was really his idea. It was other people putting words into his mouth. "Hey, you know what Jesus told me last night? That's right. He wants us to remember him by pretending that we're eating his body and drinking his blood. He says it's not creepy at all. Don't look at me funny! I'm just telling you what Jesus said to me."

Sure, make fun of ritual cannibalism.

Lol..

Rusty has a bad case of altar ego.

cleaning and maintaining the temple altars in tip-top condition.

He often complained about finding boogers, chewing gum and other odd thing on, under and around the altars.

"Oh, well," he once sighed. "I guess I have to deal with reality and the way people are. This is just my altar Nate reality."

I would never have imagined someone would drive me to the point of disliking puns, but I am almost there, WLL PRNC!

But I'm firmly against pun control. And just remember that if they ever outlaw puns, only outlaws will have puns.

But if they ever outlaw puns, you'll find yourself in a punal colony undergoing punitive punishment with the abusive priests and puns.

I assure you it will not be a pun experience.

pundamentalists I've heard about.

"Happiness is a warm pun."

~ John Lennon

Oh no! Wally has been eviscerated, or (if you will) disenvoweled!

You shouldn't be anonymous for that. You deserve full credit.

Or, in the Pure Adamic,

Y SHLDNT B NNMS FR THT. Y DSRV FLL CRDT.

And I mean that SRSL.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2019 12:44PM by Lot's Wife.

Lot's Wife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You shouldn't be anonymous for that. You deserve
> full credit.
>
> Or, in the Pure Adamic,
>
> Y SHLDNT B NNMS FR THT. Y DSRV FLL CRDT.
>
> And I mean that SRSL.

I tried to make sense of that Speedwriting, Stenoscript, Forkner, Easyscript, AlphaHand, Baine's Typed Shorthand, HySpeed Longhand, Abbreviatrix, Quickhand, and Carter Briefhand, no luck.

And SRSL?

Maybe Evlyen Wood? She was Mormon, after all.

GoshDarnIt, where's my damned peepstone?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2019 12:53PM by caffiend.

Yeah, I thought that was you.

"Eviscerated," "disenvoweled. . ."

There are like 2.5 people here who use those words--and the other 1.5 are EOD.

You and your vocabulary can run, caffiend, but you can't hide.

You know full well, LW, that I am at my erudite best in Reform Esperanto (Baltic Dialect).

Your use of "eviscerated" and "disemboweled" is as distinctive as Roy's and Kori's use of "spliff."

Lot's Wife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Your use of "eviscerated" and "disemboweled" is as
> distinctive as Roy's and Kori's use of "spliff."

Kori may or may not exist,
depending upon whether or not you are observing him.

Wow, that blows my mind. I gotta stop smoking this stuff!

be honest, please; it's 'in remembrance' at Churchco, the 'real thing' at Catholic (few ac tually believe that, I'm thinking...

Whether its claimed to be real cannibalism or only symbolic cannibalism, they still pretend to be eating the flesh and drinking the blood "in remembrance" of Jesus.

It would kind of be like shooting Jack-o-lanterns in remembrance of JFK. I doubt that JFK's ghost would enjoy being reminded.

Jesus was celebrating passover at the time which is in itself significant.

Me Lucky Charms Wrote:
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> Jesus was celebrating passover

Funny Jehovah was celebrating his killings.

This SP is a LOOSE CANNON, he'll be outted as soon as SL has a suitable replacement.

When they cover the trays with the white cloth, it is as if they are covering the body of Jesus. The tray handles poke up creating the illusion of a body being under the cloth.

Gad, why didn't I think of that !?

Excellent observation, telling us how subtle messages can be sent, kinda like the rumors/myths of Coke subliminal messages in films (Did that REALLY happen?)

Sacramental Hymn (to boost attendance)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRIKNINTFls

The stake president was dozing off on the stand, fantasizing about Wendy wearing her skimpiest "alter top" while waiting for him on the sacrament table, when he mumbled something like "sacrament table"...."alter top"....."oh god"....and his counselor quickly relayed the inspired message to the congregation.

Uh oh. I hope the priests don't start getting called "Alter Boys."

No, the Mormons are properly termed "altered boys."