Recovery Board
: RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum.
What's the clearest and most obvious sign that someone has apostasized, abandoned faith, turned from the path of righteousness and taken up wickedness?
Well, if you take a minute and recall the scriptures that you were supposed to read you know the answer.
Stiff necks. Stiffneckedness...that can lead to stiff nakedness and worse.
It should be obvious that the best way to prevent apostasy and sin would be to give free neck massages...frequently and everywhere.
This should be one of the biggest programs of the church. There should be special "Neck Masseuse" callings in every Relief Society unit and every Priesthood Unit.
They need to put the "relief" back in Relief Society. There should be neck massages for dead people in the temple. Sacred oils should be used liberally. Tithing funds should be spent on training. No expense should be spared and no effort should be spared in the pursuit of supple, limber, healthy necks and, yes, VERY FLEXIBLE NECKS for all members of the Church.
The following scriptural passages make it clear that this SHOULD be the highest priority for the Church's leaders. The fact that it does not appear to have even crossed their puny, uninspired little minds is all the proof that is needed to confirm that they are not leaders who have been called by God.
Jarom 1:4
4 And there are many among us who have many revelations, for they are not all stiffnecked. And as many as are not stiffnecked and have faith, have communion with the Holy Spirit, which maketh manifest unto the children of men, according to their faith.
Alma 9:5, 31
5 Now they knew not that God could do such marvelous works, for they were a hard-hearted and a stiffnecked people.
Jacob 4:14
14 But behold, the Jews were a stiffnecked people; and they despised the words of plainness, and killed the prophets, and sought for things that they could not understand. Wherefore, because of their blindness, which blindness came by looking beyond the mark, they must needs fall; for God hath taken away his plainness from them, and delivered unto them many things which they cannot understand, because they desired it.
Helaman 13:29
29 O ye wicked and ye perverse generation; ye hardened and ye stiffnecked people, how long will ye suppose that the Lord will suffer you? Yea, how long will ye suffer yourselves to be led by foolish and blind guides? Yea, how long will ye choose darkness rather than light?
Helaman 5:3
3 Yea, and this was not all; they were a stiffnecked people, insomuch that they could not be governed by the law nor justice, save it were to their destruction.
Helaman 4:21
21 Yea, they began to remember the prophecies of Alma, and also the words of Mosiah; and they saw that they had been a stiffnecked people, and that they had set at naught the commandments of God;
Alma 20:30
30 And, as it happened, it was their lot to have fallen into the hands of a more hardened and a more stiffnecked people;
Alma 26:24
24 For they said unto us: Do ye suppose that ye can bring the Lamanites to the knowledge of the truth? Do ye suppose that ye can convince the Lamanites of the incorrectness of the traditions of their fathers, as stiffnecked a people as they are; whose hearts delight in the shedding of blood; whose days have been spent in the grossest iniquity; whose ways have been the ways of a transgressor from the beginning? Now my brethren, ye remember that this was their language.
Well, if you take a minute and recall the scriptures that you were supposed to read you know the answer.
Stiff necks. Stiffneckedness...that can lead to stiff nakedness and worse.
It should be obvious that the best way to prevent apostasy and sin would be to give free neck massages...frequently and everywhere.
This should be one of the biggest programs of the church. There should be special "Neck Masseuse" callings in every Relief Society unit and every Priesthood Unit.
They need to put the "relief" back in Relief Society. There should be neck massages for dead people in the temple. Sacred oils should be used liberally. Tithing funds should be spent on training. No expense should be spared and no effort should be spared in the pursuit of supple, limber, healthy necks and, yes, VERY FLEXIBLE NECKS for all members of the Church.
The following scriptural passages make it clear that this SHOULD be the highest priority for the Church's leaders. The fact that it does not appear to have even crossed their puny, uninspired little minds is all the proof that is needed to confirm that they are not leaders who have been called by God.
Jarom 1:4
4 And there are many among us who have many revelations, for they are not all stiffnecked. And as many as are not stiffnecked and have faith, have communion with the Holy Spirit, which maketh manifest unto the children of men, according to their faith.
Alma 9:5, 31
5 Now they knew not that God could do such marvelous works, for they were a hard-hearted and a stiffnecked people.
Jacob 4:14
14 But behold, the Jews were a stiffnecked people; and they despised the words of plainness, and killed the prophets, and sought for things that they could not understand. Wherefore, because of their blindness, which blindness came by looking beyond the mark, they must needs fall; for God hath taken away his plainness from them, and delivered unto them many things which they cannot understand, because they desired it.
Helaman 13:29
29 O ye wicked and ye perverse generation; ye hardened and ye stiffnecked people, how long will ye suppose that the Lord will suffer you? Yea, how long will ye suffer yourselves to be led by foolish and blind guides? Yea, how long will ye choose darkness rather than light?
Helaman 5:3
3 Yea, and this was not all; they were a stiffnecked people, insomuch that they could not be governed by the law nor justice, save it were to their destruction.
Helaman 4:21
21 Yea, they began to remember the prophecies of Alma, and also the words of Mosiah; and they saw that they had been a stiffnecked people, and that they had set at naught the commandments of God;
Alma 20:30
30 And, as it happened, it was their lot to have fallen into the hands of a more hardened and a more stiffnecked people;
Alma 26:24
24 For they said unto us: Do ye suppose that ye can bring the Lamanites to the knowledge of the truth? Do ye suppose that ye can convince the Lamanites of the incorrectness of the traditions of their fathers, as stiffnecked a people as they are; whose hearts delight in the shedding of blood; whose days have been spent in the grossest iniquity; whose ways have been the ways of a transgressor from the beginning? Now my brethren, ye remember that this was their language.
The church should commission GA bobble head dolls and sell them through Deseret Books.
Oh Jeez. We know what will be the gift of the year will be at Deseret Book. Damn it.
But the head kept falling off every time I hit a bump in the road.
"Sheez! What is it about this Shiz bobble head??!!" I exclaimed every time that happened.
"Sheez! What is it about this Shiz bobble head??!!" I exclaimed every time that happened.
Stiff necks.
Stiffneckedniss
Stiff nakedness!
Stiffneckedniss
Stiff nakedness!
I saw plenty of neck and back massaging going on in SM when I attended.
DW and I were in Vienna this past spring. At a classical concert we had front row seats and listened to amazing music. Next to me was a guy who bent forward a bit and his wife started rubbing his neck and back during the performance. I have only observed this in the Mormon church as part of its culture. During intermission they told us they were from Utah.
Their Mantle Is Far, Far Heavier Than their Intellect. It needs a good wife's massaging to keep it in good working order.