Posted by:
Gordon B. Stinky
(
)
Date: September 09, 2020 04:35PM
I just feel like r̶a̶n̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ venting a little...
When I was 21 my all-knowing 18 year old judgmental convert brother called me a "moocher" because my mom helped me with tuition at the local junior college. I worked full time, and otherwise paid my own way in life, but it was a difficult economy and I had made the mistake of getting married way too early like so many young church kids, and was hustling to try to make ends meet.
My mom wanted me to continue to go to school, and offered to pay for classes if I would. I took her up on the offer, and it paid off: a couple years later I finished a BS in CS, and then later a masters and an MBA while I continued working. Basically, she primed the pump. She paid for 3 part-time semesters at the local junior college (while I filled in some holes in my transcript and got ready to transfer to a four year college) and I managed to get some traction and pay for the rest.
She believed in me, and invested in me. My Mormon brother repeatedly called this "mooching." Never to my face, of course, but complaining to my mom. I was on the phone with her one day, and heard him in the background asking "is that the moocher?" Later she told me that his girlfriend's church had him wound up about all sorts of things. When I confronted him about the "mooching" comment, he wouldn't say it, but responded "well, what would you call it?"
To put it in context, his own TBM girlfriend, who was a year ahead of him and had already graduated from high school, was also attending the local college, but not working and living at home. Her poor mom was working THREE jobs. Both single-moms were doing all they could for their kids, as most any would, but I was "mooching" while his girlfriend, who was obviously hitting the family resources much harder than I was, was apparently ok.
To put it further into context, he and his girlfriend were also badgering my mom about my girlfriend being a "slut" because we lived together, and even getting married apparently hadn't "corrected" this "issue," but later we learned that in the same period of time he was sneaking over to her house most nights, and coming home only to shower and go the "ROTC drill team" at 6am everyday. I quote "drill team" because it was a lie. He was actually going to seminary every morning. So, my wife was a "slut" because we were open and honest, but his flirt-to-convert girlfriend was not, because they had the "integrity" to hide what they were doing, not to mention lie about his church activity.
Fast forward 12 months--because naturally they married as soon as he graduated--he just moo̶c̶h̶ved in to her mom's house. And my mom paid his tuition at the local junior college. But, hey, that's not mooching. And neither is coming home to stay over the summers and holidays after you transfer to the four year school, right?
Actually, yeah, none of that constitutes "mooching" in my opinion. Families doing the best that they can for their kids is a good thing. But the notion that someone is all grown up and should fend for themselves was only applied to me. And the notion that certain behavior makes a woman a "slut" was only applied to my girlfriend/wife. By my twerpy, self-important, lying, punk little brother. And his bitchy judgemental girlfriend.
So, why is this on my mind all these years later? My 24 year old niece, who'd been at YBU until she went on a mission, from which she returned just before Covid struck, just announced that s̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶m̶o̶o̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ she's returning to YBU next semester to "finish up." For her sake, I'm glad that my idiot brother's opinions on m̶o̶o̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ supporting kids in school have changed, and I'm glad he's got the resources to do so, but I wish she was going somewhere other than YBU.
We've been plagued by MORmONness off and on ever since. Well, it's actually been kinda quiet for the last few years, because it all came to a head and they've been shunning us since then. But his senior year of high school was the point in time when all the haughtiness, hypocrisy and lying all began. And they're both still judgmental liars.
I realize that TSCC doesn't hold a monopoly on hypocrisy, and doling out the lifelong hurts and insults, but they sure know how to do it.
Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for "listening."