Posted by:
elderolddog
(
)
Date: November 15, 2020 04:01PM
My last year in Primary I was cast as Santa Claus in the Primary Christmas Special, on NBC. (Nevada Boring Church) Me, short, skinny, very Brown, and big framed black glasses. I think it was a joke being played on the Ward.
Unmarried sex is a sin next to murder. But logically speaking, if you murder a non-mormon, you're okay. I say this because I had sex before the mission, with a non-mormon, and the bishop said, "Phew! You dodged a bullet!" and off I went six months later.
When I got my Selective Service medical exam notice, I asked someone at church if my old-style medial meniscectomy might be a way out of being branded 1-A. That resulted in an appointment with an orthopod who decided that labeling me as suffering from spina bifida occulta would do the job better. It didn't.
During the sealing ceremony at the St. George temple, a lady I very much despised waltzed into the sealing room and watched us tie the knot. Then after the ceremony, she congratulated me, saying that she knew things would work out for the best. The best being not marrying HER daughter. I sincerely regret being polite to her.
I had two dates with an LM I met on my mission, after the mission. One was pre-Lesbian and the other post-Lesbian. I got a lot more action during the second date. Plus she regaled me with stories of how Lesbians were running Utah. I have no idea how true or false that might have been. But I'm reminded of this event every time I see Sheri Dew's name.
Mormons are people and people sure can be screwed up! So it's probably not just about being Mormon.
And speaking of being screwed-up, I mean, come on: Gladys Lott!