Posted by:
schrodingerscat
(
)
Date: February 24, 2021 01:16PM
As Americans, we're inculcated from birth to believe these truths to be self-evident, that our God given right to the "pursuit of Happiness" is as unalienable as our right to Liberty and Life itself, because it was enshrined into our National identity and our Declaration of Independence on the 4th of July, 1776.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
Ironically, continually pursuing happiness, as if it's this elusive external thing we'll catch one day in the future, makes us miserable. Why?
https://www.psycom.net/why-pursuing-happiness-makes-us-miserable/#
"The problem is, this notion of happiness becomes a constant chase and we’re always moving the target, says human behavior expert Patrick Wanis, PhD. “We place our happiness somewhere off in the future and therefore we’re never able to enjoy where we are now because we’re always thinking we’re only going to be happy when we get to be, do, or have something.”
We Don’t Know What Makes Us Happy
Since money worries make us stressed, we assume more money might be the key to happiness. But, we’re wrong. Research shows that just enough money to get us a little above the poverty line does increase happiness, but beyond that, it has no correlation to happiness, says Richmond, Virginia-based therapist Susan J. Buniva, MSW, LCSW.
“It is an illusion that external events or circumstances like wealth or marriage will create happiness,” she says. “When we look outside ourselves for happiness, we no longer have agency over our own happiness and count on others to make us happy or we depend on things to fill us up,” Buniva says.
We Might Not Even Know What Happiness Is
The other problem is that the pursuit of happiness is also often based on the idea that happiness means joyfulness and excitement, says Ontario, Canada-based clinical psychologist Jennifer Barbera, PhD. But humans aren’t designed to stay perpetually excited or joyful. “If one is focused on the pursuit of happiness, even if happiness is momentarily achieved, what is one to do when these feelings wax and wane? “This can become a trap because a person who sets a strong intention to strive for happiness may then feel disappointed and less happy when they run into the reality that joy and excitement cannot last indefinitely,” Dr. Barbera says.
Happiness Is An Elusive Goal
When happiness is seen as somewhere off in the future, it’s always out of your grasp, Dr. Wanis says. “If you’re not able to be in the present moment, you’re actually avoiding experiencing what’s happening right now, which is not always going to be joy, happiness, or pleasure. It can be pain; it can be sadness; it can be loss. It can be disappointment. We end up repressing, denying, or distracting ourselves from these feelings so we can keep focusing on this elusive goal,” Dr. Wanis says.
The hunt for happiness doesn’t need to involve chasing after something; it’s more about seeing what’s already here and learning to appreciate by trying these kinds of mindfulness strategies.
1. Live in alignment with your values.
2. Try to be completely engaged in something you enjoy.
3. Look for a sense of significance.
Or like the Buddha said,
"The key to happiness is,
expect nothing and
appreciate everything."