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Posted by: Itzpapalotl ( )
Date: September 18, 2015 09:52PM

BF has a coworker that just finished "Under the Banner of Heaven" recently and asked him some questions, starting off with "Hey! You were born and raised Mormon, right?!?" And then sgtarted conversing about the book.

BF is old enough to remember the Lafferty murders and the Hoffman scandal, although he doesn't remember the latter as well.

Coworker used to live in Utah, so he's familiar with all the weirdness of Mormonism, but he asked BF, "Why the hell do Mormon's have such a weird breath smell?"

I asked BF what coworker meant by that; Weird like sugar? Fast sunday? Funeral potatoes? Lime Green Jello with shredded carrots?

BF asked coworker today and he responded mothballs. o_O

It's been a week and I needed some amusement.

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Posted by: notnevernomo ( )
Date: September 18, 2015 10:04PM

It smells of Postum. And despair.

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 04:00PM

Perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 04:02PM

I always thought it was from fast sunday and was a combo from

fasting and not brushing.... it was kinda like a mouth fart.

Yuck.

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Posted by: Itzpapalotl ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 05:34PM

I'm going to start calling people a mouth fart.

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 07:16PM

Itzpapalotl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm going to start calling people a mouth fart.



go for it..... there's so many people who deserve to be

called that.

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 01:12AM

Fasting, not brushing...and dehydration. Dehydration exacerbated by much, much mouth usage, as in singing hymns, bearing testimony, reading lesson manual pages out loud and so on. The fumes! The mouth gas! It's a horrific thing.

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Posted by: Evergreennotloggedin ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 03:57PM

love it....pure despair!

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: September 14, 2018 12:06AM

we have a winner!

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: September 18, 2015 10:56PM

That brings to mind the memory of a woman who sat next to me in history class at Ricks in '67. Middle aged, decided to come back to college after all the kids moved away, I guess. Nice lady but her breath would strip chrome off a new bumper!! OMFG!! That's what "Mormon Breath" means to me.

Ron Burr

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Posted by: Mr. Inactive ( )
Date: September 18, 2015 11:00PM

I think it must be that horrible Hawaiian punch that is always served in the Rec Hall every time there's a function there.

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Posted by: kathleen ( )
Date: September 18, 2015 11:06PM

Lethbridge, if I had gone to ricks in 1967, I would guess that was me!

I've had some hella breath with an effective range of ten feet. What cures it is drinking about 6 oz of kombucha (fermented tea) every day. Need the helpful gut bacteria, I guess!

MORMONS NEED TEA!!!

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Posted by: michaelc1945 ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 05:55PM

That kombucha is some kind of nasty looking stuff. Who thought it was a good idea to eat or drink that anyway?

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Posted by: Itzpapalotl ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 06:01PM

Still not as gross as jello with vegetables and ground beef, though. Ewww, topped with Miracle Whip and placed on a platter of iceberg lettuce. :P

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Posted by: Evergreennotloggedin ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 11:46PM

you cannot be serious?

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: September 18, 2015 11:07PM

whatever it is it's bad.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: September 18, 2015 11:08PM

Oh my hell. And I thought it was supposed to be God behind the veil. It was just horrible and in such close proxmity.

I haven't a clue what it is.

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: September 12, 2018 06:48PM

These were great.. anyone have anymore?

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 01:15AM

Yep. You get a whiff of that before you enter the "Celestial" room, and you may start thinking that a room full of sulfur smells would be preferable. (Hey, it's like boiled eggs.)

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 03:55PM

I don't speak German very well, but thanks to my German-born grandma, my accent is impeccable. I have even had German speakers peg my accent to the region that grandma came from (Province Posen.)

Out of boredom and a sense of mischief, I decided to pronounce the name of the lady I was doing the session for as it would be pronounced in the original German. It was something of a tooth-chipper.

The person behind the curtain was dead-silent for a moment, and then asked, "What was that name again?" I repeated, again with Germanic precision. The curtain-lurker's attempt at it was hilarious. I know that was mean, but it told me a lot about "discernment," or lack thereof, as well as the whole temple schtick being a load of baloney.

I hope that the German lady went ahead and cashed in on whatever spiritual benefits she was entitled to, all the same.

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Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: September 18, 2015 11:42PM

While their can be several causes, anti depressants can cause people to have mothball breath.

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Posted by: deco ( )
Date: September 18, 2015 11:51PM

Of course there are also the infamous smells coming from the senior leadership on the podium on Fast Sunday.

An interesting wafting odor for the faithful to pioneer through making their way to open mic night.

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Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 12:04AM

A room reeking of ketosis isn't a nice place to be. I swear the smell lingers for a month until the next round.

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Posted by: dydimus ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 12:33AM

There's alcohol in Mouthwash, there's fluoride in normal toothpaste, there's the fasting days (no water or food to pass the mouth). Because of these many Elders I served with had "bad breath". We usually obviously would have lunches, dinners without being able to brush our teeth and no sodas, coffee to cover up our food breaths probably made it worse.

Also, we have to realize that many "families" share some of the genetic traits. Halitosis may be one of them.http://human-nature.com/science-as-culture/walker.html

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 12:44AM

My only memory of my patriarchal blessing was the old coot breathing all over me with his halitosis mormonus as he muttered mendacities.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/19/2015 12:54AM by Shummy.

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Posted by: kathleen ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 12:48AM

hahahahahahaha

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Posted by: Anon Dunn ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 12:58AM

It's amazing how many Mormon dentists there are and yet there still is bad breath...

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Posted by: poopstone ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 01:52AM

my sister always smells like a pickle no matter what she ate. My father's feet always smelled horrible no matter what shoes he wore, old or knew. I hardly ever sweat no matter how hot it gets and how much I'm running around, so I never use deodorant.

Everybody is different and has different digestion.

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 03:37AM

I would always brush my teeth extra-diligently before going to church on F&T Sundays, because fasting made my mouth taste like Custer's entire army had marched through it, cavalry and infantry both! And the infantry was barefoot, I could tell! BLECH!

I don't know why going without food or water should make your mouth taste and smell so horrible, but it certainly seems to.

I was actually GRATEFUL to be diagnosed with a kidney ailment back in my Mormon days. I was absolutely FORBIDDEN to go without liquids. I wouldn't eat anything, but being able to drink water whenever I wanted to was pure bliss. (And it seemed to reduce that gaggy Mormon-breath thing.)

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 02:49PM

Not even allowed one lousy goddamm tic tac on fast day.

Ah, how Horny Joe's irony doth run rich!

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 02:50PM

The wind of lies.

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 07:17PM

Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahah.

That was so good.

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 02:55PM

They call the wind Mariahlieya.

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Posted by: bordergirl ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 03:20PM

Sugar and starchy carbs cause terrible breath.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 03:21PM

I always thought it was the smell of a brain rotting from disuse creeping throughout the body, and outgassing whenever another lie is told.

Makes for a good story, anyway :)

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 05:00PM

She said mouth fart.


snicker

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 06:09PM

Kombucha which comes from two life forms restore body balance grasshopper.

A symbiotic probiotic that's been handed down for ages.

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Posted by: Tupperwhere ( )
Date: September 19, 2015 06:53PM

imo, it smells like cheerios.

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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 12:43AM

A good RS project would be to make breath fresheners. Make your breath minty fresh. Maybe make some in suppository form for the apostles.

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Posted by: kathleen ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 01:49AM

Kombucha helps, but going gluten-free a few months ago completely cured me of WEAPONIZED bad breath.

It was so bad, I wouldn't go in public.

Got ridda my year's supply of canned whole wheat, my grinder, back-up grinder, whole-wheat cook books, whole-wheat bread machine--ALL OF IT!! Threw out the barley, too.

No trace of bb now.

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Posted by: Nottelling ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 04:26PM

You can't even brush your teeth on fast Sunday?, that is ridiculous!!

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Posted by: lisadee ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 10:47PM

Good grief. At least chew on some fresh mint leaves or parsley.

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: September 14, 2018 12:52AM

Ahhhhhh...nothing like the reek of parsley p pratt plucked from a pristine mountain meadow.

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