Random post

As I consider to refine my belief system of one I have come up with a few core principles I live by.

My favorite is that I have decided to never be offended. When you allow yourself to become offended you have lost. You have either:

1) Let the person attempting to offend you succeed
2) Lose a friend or relationship over a miscommunication

By simply never being offended, it has made my life ever so much less stressful. This allows me to be sincere with everyone, and honest.

Also, it is tremendous fun when you are not offended and someone is trying really hard to offend you. You can almost watch them go apoplectic.

While it is so easy to be offended by so much, and so many are offended so easily, try taking this path. It will amaze you...

Paraphrasing Mark Twain--when one takes offense when no offense was meant, one is a fool. When one takes offense when offense was meant, one is an even bigger fool. The Boner.

To paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt:

No one can offend you without your permission.

Sweet!

Anger is a natural reaction, and it does not necessarily have to be acted out in negative ways. It can be a powerful emotional reaction to a bad situation and a powerful signal to the victim that there needs to be a dramatic change in their circumstances. This is why MORmONISM so strenuously vilifies anger, because they want to cut it off as an impetus for people to leave "THE" church. How comical that as MORmONS stay in "THE" church then they are completely entitled to have righteous indignation and to be endlessly offended over anything that is not flattering to THE cause of MORmONISM.

I am offended by MORmONISM. I am offended by evil. Its a good thing to be that way. I am going to keep it that way as insurance of my zero tolerance policy for predatory MORmON antics that I have already paid way too dearly for.

I'm inclined to agree. I have always had too much patience with those who don't deserve it. Allowing myself to feel my own indignation, and decide on an appropriate reaction is much more natural and healthy than putting up with crap.

I don't consider that handing over control to someone else. I wouldn't call it 'being offended' either, because there is no need to take it personally when someone else is being a jerk. As far as offending someone else, that's not my stuff. Their reaction is their stuff, not mine.

What ever happened to "The best defense is a good offense?"

At this time in my life--somewhere in Autumn--the only regrets I have all have to do with taking the high road. I wish I hadn't. Like, ever.

Refusing to be offended, if that's even possible, seems like taking the high road, but I have found that particular road usually leads right off a cliff, leaving you laying at the bottom wishing you had done something that is now too late to do.

I can go with not be someone who offends easily, but, while many offenses aren't worth bothering with other than a good eye-roll, standing up for what's right for yourself and others often means being offended just enough to take an appropriate well thought out action.

You are so right blueorchid. Sometimes if you don't stand up

for your self, no one else will.

Well said, blueorchid. I completely agree!

blueorchid, let me be clear, not being offended is not the same thing as not acting when necessary.

No one who knows me (as some on this board do) would say that I am anything other than a blunt instrument in many ways when it comes to action.

I also would not characterize myself as someone who allows people or institutions to take advantage of me.

My point is that allowing emotions (offense) to clutter your mind and thinking can lead to rash decisions and poor choices.

And it is definitely possible to never be offended, not easy, but possible.

Most of the time it involves seeing things from someone else's point of view. Something most people cannot or will not do.

BTW my second favorite rule is that if it feels good, you want to do it, and it does not hurt anyone else you should be free to do whatever that thing is you want to do. And if you think it is hard to go through life never being offended, try living by this rule. It is a bitch.

I do see your point. I'm sure we are agreeing more than various interpretations of the same word allow. :)

The only way I can truly relate to what you are saying is this:

There are people who can push my buttons. I wish they couldn't. I hate that they can. I swear they will never be able to again. And then they do. And, well, you know . . .

I wish I had whatever deep inside could make me more likely to plan a response rather than have an automatic reaction which I may regret or may not. I'm getting better at that all the time but am not there yet. If you can relate to that, then I can relate more to what you have to say.

For me, it's the "never" in your Never Be Offended idea, that doesn't let me concur.

I'm offended by this thread.

We all know exmos left the church because they were offended.

If exmos don't get offended, Mormons get all confused.


:-)



Seriously...
Good advice in this thread. Life is too short to care about being offended, IMO.

I refuse to "TAKE" offense. Even if the statements or behavior are offensive, I refuse to be offended, personally.
I often talk about the Duck Suit that I suggest when posting on the Internet. Let stuff run off your back.
Never take anything personally. That's the 2nd Agreement in the Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz.

The CULT is always accusing people of leaving the CULT because they are/were offended.

Well, I'm sorry but I have been offended by everything the CULT stands for: JSs pedophilia, his adultery, his polyandry, his constant lying, his threatening women with swords and no salvation, him being a con man etc etc. When I put myself in the place of the parents of the children JS molested, I am offended. And if the parents willingly gave their daughter to some old FUCK, I am offended that those people were ever parents at all. So many people want to be parents. When parents hand their daughter to some pedophile, they should be placed in prison or shot.

Moving on to BY - I am offended by his blatant racism, sexism, adultery, constant lying etc., same crap as JS basically - the CULT really knows how to pick leaders! (serious sarcasm!)

Everything the CULT does offends me.
When the bishie asked me if I was offended by something when I quit, I told them I was offended by the lies about the translation; rock in hat (the Sunday School teacher let this info slip and she was ex'd for that). I was disfellowed for questioning the authority of the CULT. I was offended by what happened to the SS teacher and the bishie lying.

When the CULT admitted the rock and hat in their essays, I was offended because they did not apologize to me.

I'm over it now. I understand that they don't apologize (as one of the asshats said at conference). EVIL institutions don't ever admit they are wrong.

But for me, not being offended by such offensive things as pedophilia etc. was NOT possible. Now that I understand it as PURE EVIL, I'm just sickened by it not offended.

I think I am still somewhat offended by Tommy boy, pretending to be so holier than thou when in reality he is Lucifer-like to the core; all of the 15 offend me...

This latest policy is offensive to me too even though I know it is just another manifestation of PURE EVIL.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2015 08:26PM by verilyverily.

Don't take offense, take offensia, the new prescription medication from big pharma. Sure it's a bitter pill to swallow, but it suppresses offendedness signals in the cortex that cause symptoms of resentment and vengefulness.

Warning: side effects may include sheepishness and lack of self-respect for suffering fools gladly.

You're killing me again her Don.LMAO.

Stuff offends me. How I react afterwards is what's important.

Sorry, I am offended by a lot of stuff, and proud of it.

I am offended by people that preach and practice genocide.

I am offended by people that will attack children for the actions of their parents.

I am offended by sex slave traders.

I am offended by people that lie in order to try to take my rights away.

I am offended by people that do not take offence when they should.

That's what I'm talking about.

Those are the things that I will always be offended by.

Those are the things that I will speak out against for

the rest of my life.

I will not stand by and watch someone be hurt and not do

anything. I will not apologize for being this way.

Hardcore Mormons want you to never feel offended by their word.

This I know, because the Bible tells me so.

"That make a man an offender for a word, and lay a snare for him that reproveth in the gate, and turn aside the just for a thing of nought."
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Isaiah-29-21/

It is like their 11th Commandment. But that is because they never want to be reproved for their comments or have their religion considered a thing of nought.

No being offended means they win every time.

Choosing to never feel offended is a naive approach to life. How you feel is your right and one thing that helps you to grow and to learn important lessons. Just don't carry around a chip on your shoulder that affects how you treat everyone else. You are only responsible for how you act. How you feel belongs to you. That doesn't mean you have to feel like a victem. Use your feelings to your advantage. The church doesn't encourage people to feel anything. I feel better every time I describe just how messed up the church is, to someone who previously didn't know what I told them of my experiences in the church. If the church ever chooses to earn my respect (some day after pigs fly), I won't have much to say about them. In the mean time, I was offended and I am going to make them pay if I can. But I don't lose sleep over being offended either.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2015 10:25PM by azsteve.

Right on !!!!! I was offended by the church as well. I'd be

lying if I said I wasn't. Their saying that when a ss couple's

child has to renounce his/her parents in order to join the chuch

Offends the shit out of me.... I am livid about this cruel,

hateful, bigoted policy against children and their parents.

I am so fucking offended I can't stand it .

LOL, I have enjoyed all the people reveling in their ability to be offended. From things truly horrific, to the mundane. For those offended by all of these various atrocities, what has that feeling done to alleviate the suffering of those that are directly affected? Has your anger and offense served any purpose other than to make you feel better about yourself?

Saucie - where have you spoken? Words definitely have power if they are spoken to the right people at the right time. Have you translated your feelings into actions that have made a difference?

nevermo_ - How has your offense(and I assume indignation) at your six pillars of horror helped the people whom these things are actually happening to?

You don't have to answer, I don't really care. But simply being offended is not helping anyone. And if you are not going to do anything about it, why be offended?

Which brings me to my point. Just because I am not offended does not mean I agree, endorse, support, or tolerate much of anything outside my own belief system when it is in my ability to affect change.

azsteve, I counter that choosing to BE offended(because it is ALWAYS an individual choice) is the naive way to go through life.

I also disagree that TSCC does not want you to feel anything. It relies wholly in the Heartsell philosophy, which is to let your feelings overcome rational thought. I think this is one of the reasons that people are so visceral in their feelings for TSCC once they have broken the double-bind.

My offence prompted me into action.

I have campaigned and fought against all those things that caused me offence because they were offence. I have worked with others to bring about much change because I was motivated by the offence I have taken at offensive acts.

Seriously, Genocide does not offend you? REALLY? Genocide is offensive.

You do not take offence at something as offensive as genocide?

Murdering millions does not offend you?

I pity you and your lack of empathy.

Since you posted that twice, genocide must really be a hot button issue for you.

And who said I am not empathetic?

I am glad you are motivated to fight against the things that cause you to react emotionally.

But almost every war ever fought is an attempt at genocide, we just did not start calling it that until after Hilter purged European Jews.

And genocide does not necessarily equal murdering millions...

In fact, in the case of the cannibals of Korowai I support genocide completely.

But we are straying far, far, far away from the topic of not letting people control your emotions with words and action...

Everyone should be offended by Genocide.

You lack empathy because you are not having an emotional reaction to horrific things that are happening to other people.

Yes, war is also offensive.

Genocide has indeed meant murdering millions, why so dismissive of genocide, do you support it or just not take offence at the millions murdered by genocide?

In the case of cannibals (cannibals do not necessarily murder), I support reeducating, not genocide. If they are guilty of murder, convict them of murder, the RATIONAL thing to do, and certainly not genocide. It appears that your call for genocide of cannibals is indeed an emotional reaction. Get it? convict those that murder, do not kill the race which would mean killing innocent children.

I do not let people control my emotions, but I do not deny MY emotions when confronted with horrific acts. I do indeed acknowledge and emphasis with those that have been horrifically wronged.

I do proudly acknowledge that I am offended by horrific acts. Yes it is an emotional response and I am proud to have such empathetic emotional responses.

That does not mean my emotions control me. I do not make an emotional call to commit genocide (which would include innocents) as you do. Yes, I am offended by cannibalism, but act against only the individuals that practice it, not the whole race of people.

You talk about having an emotional reaction is a bad thing, it is not.

Having an emotional reaction giving hope when I see good things is a great emotional reaction.

Having an emotional reaction (being empathetic) to honorific acts is normal, being offended is normal.

How you react to those feelings determines the sort of person you are. Too bad you seem to lack that understanding of feelings.

Your idea that a person being personally offended doesn't help

anyone is your opinion. Your idea that a person choses to be

offended is your opinion. I'm not going to judge you for

your opinion and you are not going to judge me for mine.

That does no good does it?

Nope, I don't judge anyone.

I wasn't judging you or anyone else who has cared enough to engage with me.

If you have figured out a way to use someone else's manipulation of your emotions to help you, good for you...

Being offended by genocide is not allowing others to manipulate my feelings.

It is normal to have emotional reactions to things as horrific as genocide. It is healthy to acknowledge those emotions and realize that your reactions to such horror are not reactions to manipulation.

The unhealthy reactions is not to have, or to deny, the normal emotional response to horrific acts, to not be offended.

The 'truth' stated boldly 'always' offends some ----- 'truth' is out there despite the active arguments for and against it!

Sorry, I thought I was done, but whose 'truth'? Everyone's truth is different, and subjective to their worldview and belief system.

But you are right. No matter what you say, truth or lie, quietly or boldy, someone is going to get offended.

telling us to never be offended and that is the correct way is like the Christians coming here to tell me I have to believe what they believe or the mormons telling me I have to believe.

Or like the mormons teaching me all my life that I can't be angry, that anger is of satan.

I'd say I've done a pretty good job of getting past some HUGE OFFENSES that were perpetrated against me, but I still have a right when someone does something offensive to be offended and I, too, am extremely offended by this new policy. I found it such a relief that my sisters agreed with me. I wasn't sure they would. We don't always get along all that great. Those people who kept telling me that this was to protect the children were offensive and I cut them out of my life.

I put up with a hell of a lot as a mormon and if I hadn't taken offense, I wouldn't be here right now. I'd still be putting up with the bullshit. I won't come back to see your reply. It doesn't have to religion to be "preaching" to someone.