I have spent hours researching and thinking about other religions since leaving TSCC, I cannot figure out how I feel about any religion or spiritual belief now. They all feel tainted to me. Is this a common way to feel after learning TSCC is fake? I feel like everything is a trick, including the bible. I have this fear that "what if" the bible is true and Christ is the one I should follow? And yet, I don't feel a whole lot towards him anymore. In a way I feel like I don't fit in anywhere- but a part of me wants to have a belief. Could I get a little advice or encouragement to see he light at the end of the tunnel. It's all pretty fresh still so I am really bothered and hurt by being lied to by TSCC. I don't want to miss out on a spiritual life if there is a way to seperate TSCC from spirituality. What are some of your experiences with this?

I'm sour on all of them for the way they treat women.

I am feeling that way too. a lot seem to be sexist huh?

Especially the ones that deny being so!

I don't think you really need to feel anything right now, nor rush into anything. See this time as simply an opportunity to reassess what you believe, and whether organized religion will be a part of your life. There is a whole spectrum of belief/worldview out there for you to explore.

At the risk of sounding like a proselytizer, might I recommend reading Thomas Paine's "Age of Reason" for his perspective on "revealed" religions. You may agree or disagree with his point of view, but it will definitely give you food for thought.

Once again, you are not in a hurry to decide anything; and the choice is yours, free of judgment by anybody else.

Thank you all so much! Your kindness, understanding and advice means so much to me, I will take it all in. I think it's time to stop worrying about who is "right" and focus on what is right for me. It takes a lot to break free of all the traditions and commandments I've followed my whole life. I have felt this hole since having a huge part of my life removed. It has been a nice one most of the time though! I will look into that book suprenant thank you for sharing! I am always looking for new books to read.

I'd like to second surprenant's suggestion.

Thomas Paine's Age of Reason is short, easy to read, in every library, free online, and an eye-opener. It's also a classic from a founding father with interesting history.

My next recommendation is Carl Sagan's Demon Haunted World. If you would like some kind of standard for what you will accept as fact, this book provides a bologna detection kit.

Both these books have been life-altering for many people.

The question is if you want to "feel" religion or if you value more investigating the evidence for religion. Either way, it's a rewarding quest.

No rules to follow. No hoops to jump through. No obedience just for the sake of obedience.

I believe you are in an adjustment period that most of us went through after unshackling ourselves from the indoctrination.

This is what feels like to be in command of your own life finally. I think what is bothering you is a knee-jerk reaction to a life time of feeling the extreme pressure to "do the right thing." The right thing is what you feel in you heart is right. I'll bet if you try that you can admit to yourself that you know how to be a good person all on your own with no outside help. No? That is real religion. Any God out there should be happy with you for that--pleased that you are not one more that has to constantly be told how to treat people right.

Let the pressure go. Take your time. You can't re-evaluate your life, your goals, your entire state of being over night. It's about personal growth and exploration now.

Like a lot of people I looked at other churches when I left. When I stood back and took a critical look at them I didn't see much difference. I saw them all as Mormon-lite. They all have some nice part to hook you in, but real growth in life does not come from dogma and commandments. Examination of what could be and appreciation for what is.

I think it's natural to want to fill the void. You are homeless in a sense, and you desperately want to belong.

Don't should yourself though. Or you'll end up right back in the next cult.

Take your time.

Take care of yourself and find out what makes you happy.

Tear off all the labels you're familiar with and mix up your world a bit.

Learn and study all you can. Travel to as many countries as you can and get to know as many different people as you can.

And remember, when the "what if" question comes up (and it will many times); ask yourself whether or not a loving God would really care whether or not you've found his church yet, if you're living a "good" life.

You know, not killing your neighbor, being nice to strangers, helping the old lady across the street and basically treating your fellow humans how you would like to be treated.

BI Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> And remember, when the "what if" question comes up
> (and it will many times); ask yourself whether or
> not a loving God would really care whether or not
> you've found his church yet, if you're living a
> "good" life.
>
> You know, not killing your neighbor, being nice to
> strangers, helping the old lady across the street
> and basically treating your fellow humans how you
> would like to be treated.

Along those same lines, when I left the Catholic Church (by no means in league with leaving TSCC, from what I've read on RfM) and any and all religions, I had a period where I had to constantly remind myself that I could not, would not, believe in a God who was so insecure and petty as to punish me so long as I was treating my fellow man with fairness and compassion.

Everyone is religious, although not everyone knows it.

For example, in addition to being a (crappy) Mormon, I practice several other religions. I follow baseball. I use money (and, more broadly, believe in the basic tenets of capitalism). I read a lot of Buddhism (another non-deistic religion, like capitalism, communism, etc.)

If you provide a good or service and, in exchange for your product, you accept either small rectangles of paper with pictures of Presidents on them or numbers added electronically to your bank account, it's because you HAVE FAITH. You can't eat a dollar bill or a string of numbers at Bank of America, but you HAVE FAITH that you can convert these symbols into something that meets a tangible need in the future--e.g., you get the munchies and want a pizza.

Some religions include as part of their imagined realities invisible supernatural beings (Mormonism, Islam, Catholicism, Judaism); other religions don't (capitalism, Buddhism, socialism, evolutionary humanism [Nazism], etc.). But they all do basically the same thing: they provide for our emotional needs while allowing us to unite with thousands or millions of other human beings who we otherwise have nothing in common with.

Me, I'm a cafeteria type--I like to go down the lines of all the religions and pick and chose the tasty parts of each: I'll take the goal of working selflessly from "Christianity," the imminent arrival of my Social Security check from the religion known as the "United States of America," the inherent superiority of the San Francisco Giants over the Los Angeles Dodgers from "baseball," etc.

getbusylivin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Everyone is religious, although not everyone knows
> it.
>
> For example, in addition to being a (crappy)
> Mormon, I practice several other religions. I
> follow baseball. I use money...


Everything isn't a religion. And no -- not everyone is religious. You've stretched the definition of "religion" there beyond any sense.

YOU LIE !!!

There's no "should." There's only what you feel, what you research, and what you decide.

Me...I got out of mormonism by consciously deciding that facts and evidence mattered far more than "feelings." Having made that decision, I couldn't justify belief in any god or religion -- because none have facts or evidence to support them or show them correct.

How YOU decide might be different. Or the same. Either is fine, just make it YOUR decision and YOUR research -- not what somebody else tells you to do. :)

Take at least a year off from religion, any religion. That year could quite easily turn into several years. Then if you wish, start visiting different congregations and see what appeals to you (and what doesn't.) There is no rush. You can attend other churches, temples, etc. for a very long time without needing to formally join.

If it's any comfort, I'm in the same boat, and I left Catholicism behind several decades ago. I've attended various Protestant churches off an on over the years, but never joined any. I might give it one more try when I retire. I still consider myself spiritual, but at this point in time I don't worry about having a religious affiliation.

Give yourself time to allow your ideas to evolve. There is no hurry. You'll eventually create your own new World View that will bring you peace and comfort.

I ignore all of them. They all seek to control me and most of them want my hard earned money.

RB



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/11/2016 12:45PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

I don't know who said this quote but I found it extremely helpful on this very topic.

"Morality is doing what is right no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right."

Great thought to inform a life. No?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/11/2016 12:31PM by blueorchid.

Religion uses fear to keep people compliant. That is the whole reason the Roman leaders gave up paganism and adopted Christianity. The title "Bishop" was a title the Romans used for their governmental leaders. It was secular. It became religious lingo when they incorporated religion into their government. I was taught by Mormonism the the position of bishop was created by prophets. Bunk!

The mystical part of religion is based on pure fantasy. If you can convince people that fantasy is reality you can lead them anywhere as long as you have the patent on deciphering it. Religion is bunk.

The more I studied the origins of different religions the more I saw how scripture was just musings, moral teachings, and tribal law all rolled-into one. Finding truth in reality is much more productive and much less destructive.

First: They are all man made.

Second: They are all mind control oriented.

Third: They are there to help you escape from reality.

They are like the story of the third grade class election:

There were two candidates a boy and a girl.
They boy ran a great campaign.
The girl had only one issue, "Everyone who votes for me is entitled to an ice cream cone.
The girl won the election hands down. When her classmates showed up wanting an ice cream cone her answer was. "Of course you are entitled to one. I just don't have the money to buy it"!

I decided that organized religion is bullshit and I want nothing to do with it. Unorganized religion is ok by me, I became an Asatruar and I enjoy it

I understand exactly how you feel. And from reading the previous comments I think we all do. Personally I steer clear of organized religion and pick and choose what brings me peace and feels harmonious. I study the words of leaders that influenced and uplifted society. I find a lot of peace in nature. I also practice mindfulness/meditation. I love science now, Neil DeGrasse Tyson for one and I love this quote by Nikola Tesla, "If you want to learn the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration". I know since leaving Mormonism the world feels like an amazing smorgasbord now that I've broken free of the narrow-minded little package that Mormonism presented. Enjoy it, have fun with it and do your own thing.

I once said that Mormons kept God in a little tiny box. Leaving the church annihilates that box. For me, everything is God.

My spirituality and faith in God took a huge leap upward after Mormonism. So, don't worry. The gold at the end of the rainbow is you.

No one can tell you how to feel about religion.

I think so many of us who left mormonism are still in the mode

of relying on someone else telling us what to do, how to think,

etc, etc, etc.

Feel what you feel. It might change. Everyone feels differently

about it. No one can tell you how to feel about anything, get it?

You are an adult. Think and decide for yourself.

La Saucie said,

> I think so many of us who left mormonism are still
> in the mode of relying on someone else telling us
> what to do, how to think, etc, etc, etc.


You said to do whatever you TOLD me to do, and I'm sticking with your plan because ... well, because, etc., etc., etc.

liv5

" I have this fear that "what if" the bible is true and Christ is the one I should follow? "

If you do some research on the bible, it's real origins at the hand of men, then you will have nothing to fear whatsoever. The old testament is especially cruel and those instructions for warfare and conquest given to the Israelites by Yahweh are no more real than instructions given to The Romans by Jupiter. Both would claim they had disrespected or not done enough for their respective Gods if they lost in battle and subsequently perform appeasement rituals in their respective Temples.


I would recommend listening to Bart Ehrman or Christopher Hitchins.

I read Dawkins 'The God Delusion' and realised those were exactly my thoughts all along and why I struggled to believe every church I studied and their truth claims.

Cautious, very cautious.

I have found the tenents of Buddhism fascinating to implement in my life. I wouldn't call myself a Buddhist in any way, shape, or form, but stepping out of Mormonism has allowed me to study so many different styles of being In the world.
I am embarrassed Over the current climate of Christianity these days. Whether Christ was who the bible says he is or not, I'm confidant this religion wasnt what he came to create. For now I do not identify as Christian.
I read a wonderful book after leaving Mormonism because I too felt "homeless". It's called The Seekers Guide by Elizabeth lesser. She talks about the changing face of worship from organized religion to personal spirituality. One of the chapters talks about creating a beautiful necklace of your very own strung with beautiful beads and pearls of wisdom you find along your own path that resonate with you. I was a great read at the point in my life when I had just left the church.

Any feelings are perfectly valid, it's what you do with them that counts.

I know how you feel about the emptiness- I had a really hard time letting go of any religion and at the time, years out of the cult, I was a goddess worshipping pagan. After some time and traumatic experiences, however, I started to realize I was probably talking to the "idealized version of myself" as we say in personality psychology.

So start building up your critical thinking skills, read everything twice, think about it, read an opposing view, read a neutral view and make up your own mind about it.

I recommend a book (also available on CD) entitled "Proof of Heaven." It is written by a neurosurgeon who had a remarkable near-death experience. He was a non-believer prior to his experience.

I also recommend watching him interviewed. IMO, he is better at talking than writing.

Don't let your experience with the LDS Church color your attitude towards religion. The LDS Church is not your typical church.

I agree with the expression that following our own conscience remains the paramount--whether we affiliate with a new religion or spirituality or not.

Another thing I found critical was having the right expectation. A new religion or spiritual path will not be everything Mormonism was supposed to be. Nor should it be. If it is---it's likely another psychologically damaging organization with cult-like characteristics that you find in the BITE model.

Another challenge is living without the certainty Mormonism provided. The "Plan of Salvation" was so neat and tidy, and the "prophets" always had the answers--except when they speak as men (oops). All I find out there are a bunch of confused human beings, some of whom try to make sense of their existence. And that's okay!

I have different expectations of others in the church I attend now, and I have different expectations about what I owe to it. In other words, I participate on my own terms rather than to meet the expectations of others.