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Posted by: sharapata ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 02:12PM

Here is the direct link to Holland:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrYpRzi6xtY

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Posted by: Levi ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 07:09PM

My Christ, I couldn't get 25 seconds into it before I had a physical reaction. My unholy Christ, what an icky feeling.

Maybe I'm recovered?

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 02:23PM

what does "new" mean ?

are these "new" stakes created fron the ashes of disbanded stakes ?

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 02:26PM

Good questions. Looks like the bucking bronco is really just an ass with its hindquarters in the air.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 05:47PM

And the comments show a lot of ignorance and wishful thinking.

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Posted by: Historischer ( )
Date: April 27, 2016 03:51PM

I'll bet Holland was a bucking bronco back in his glory days. And proud of it.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 27, 2016 09:32PM

Someone needs to slamtoons (for cricket) a picture of a dodo riding a fcking er, I mean bucking bronco. Maybe Mendenhall at a BYU game. Holland giving him some extra priesthood power for the games.

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Posted by: Historischer ( )
Date: April 27, 2016 03:48PM

Reminds me of a passage from TPJS. Since your body contains recycled atoms from other bodies, do you get to keep the atoms in the resurrection?

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Posted by: Exmoron ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 02:28PM

What he doesn't say is that 20 stakes have been discontinued due to inactivity (aheem...reorganization). Net loss of 10 stakes.

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Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 02:29PM

I think they're just giving stakes new names and moving the borders around a bit. Trying to keep the parking lots from looking empty on Sunday.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 02:33PM

Creating, um, "SPLITTING".

Hogwash

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 02:42PM

"In the history of the world... and I'm not just talking about since October"

15 Steaks a week - no wonder he is so fat and stupid.

"Since ADAM and (st)EVE walked out of the garden..."

"We assume (MORMONS assume - imagine that!) they were about like our temples now"...

"We really haven't had anything much going in the world until now".

No wonder people are climbing away - this whole sham is in shambles.

And these people believe this crap? What's new? No wonder its falling apart. The "leaders" are cracked like a broken egg!

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Posted by: JBF ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 06:08PM

HOW DARE YOU INSULT EGGS LIKE THAT!

Eggs have more sense than these yokes any day of the week.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 02:51PM

"[Growth] is the single greatest problem we have."
"We are reeling under the implications of the growth that we have in this Church."
"A week ago Thursday we created 15 stakes...the week before it was 12." [in reference to temple meetings at Church Headquarters]
"We are talking about double-digit stakes every week of our lives."
"It is like a bucking bronco."
"In the middle of all that occasionally, rarely...we dissolve a stake. That is so unusual..it doesn't happen very often."

That is 780 stakes a year (or is it steaks?).

Can anyone else add? Can Mormons count? Not this high.

The FRAUDULENT church of Jeffrey Holland and his pocket calculator of LDS lying, bloating and deceiving.

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Posted by: Bamboozled ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 03:02PM

The members in the Morridor don't realize that stakes outside of the US are vastly smaller than the stakes in North America. In some locations in the worl 30-40 active make a ward. 200 active can make a stake.

Its all about deceiving the flock at home.

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Posted by: sharapata ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 03:05PM

Same goes for the Young Single Adult (YSA) Stakes where, at BYU for example, a YSA ward typically has no more than 200 people (students) total.

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Posted by: Shinehahbeam ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 07:22PM

The first stake I was in on my mission had just a couple wards and several branches. The largest unit didn't even have 20 active members. The ward I was in only had one priesthood holder. I'm assuming it only became a ward because of falsified baptismal records. There were well over 1,000 members on the rolls, but only ~15 active members. Somebody had to have been lying about weekly attendance for it to have become a ward as well. In EVERY area I was in, the church would cease to exist if just one or two key members left. I've seen several people leave recently here in Utah, but the "church" keeps tickin'. I'd love to see a few key members leave in my mission and see TSCC withdraw entirely from the area.

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 03:12PM

That doesn't even meet the honesty standards required for used car salespeople. Geez.

LDS Inc has been creating about 14 new congregations a week and disbanding about 7. That's net 7 new congregations a week.

That is roughly 1 stake a week. Which is in fact what they have been creating. Sub-saharan Africa has been having a good run lately, but I don't expect that to continue. So they may have brief runs averaging two stakes a week.

But double digits each week. In his dreams.

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 04:50PM

In my head I'm seeing another one of those 'Downfall' parodies with Hitler poking the map with his finger about the tremendous church growth, and the sweating officers finally admitting that those stakes and wards are failing.

The rant that follows would be epic.

And perfect for mormonism, because there only two token female characters in the scene

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Posted by: JBF ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 06:12PM

Remember, a member from Vegas posted that her stake went from 5 wards to 3 about a month ago.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 05:49PM

They oughta put a stake through that old vampire.

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: April 28, 2016 02:13AM

hahahahaha

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Posted by: Yee-haw ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 05:59PM

Um, riders *always* get thrown from bucking broncos. Always.

The "winners" are the ones who can stay on the longest before winding up on their ass, eating dirt.

Maybe not a bad analogy after all, just not the way Holland intended.

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Posted by: Levi ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 07:03PM

You might notice a huge jump again in "YSA" stakes. Keep in mind, no buildings need to built for a YSA stake. No "proof in the pudding" physical building. Therefore you can create those willy nilly. Normally a regular stake would require some type of building either an expansion of an existing or completely new structure.

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Posted by: badseed ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 07:08PM

"[Growth] is the single greatest problem we have."

Is he talking about negative growth because based on what they're talking about in Conference it would seem he's full of shit. Methinks he doth protest too much. "No we're not losing members. In fact we're growing like crazy. Nevermind all the talks we're giving about the evils of the Internet and doubting."

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Posted by: verilyverily ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 07:10PM

Who believes a word Holland says? Or any of the CULT's big wigs for that matter?

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 07:14PM

just how much 'work' is involved for HQ???

a few keystrokes in the COB, maybe a trip for a GA (or lower); most of the key work is done locally, I'm betting; the surrounding SPs get together over coffee or drinks & shoot the S*it for a while, one comes up with some teary-eyed story about the candidate (relative?) he's backing, the others nod their heads, and KaBOOM! A new stake is named/created!!!

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Posted by: cricket ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 07:46PM

Well, that's because half the top fifteen are too petrified, stiff and wheelchair bound to ride a tapir, oops, I mean a horse.

Besides if Holland mounted a bronco he'd be beaten to death by his own flapping jowls.

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Posted by: Historischer ( )
Date: April 27, 2016 04:00PM

That's an ugly image, but reality gets "pretty ugly" sometimes.

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Posted by: perky ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 10:44PM

Except in BIC cases and cases where there is no Internet (if there any) how can the church possibly grow?

You would think before joining anyone would do a search of the LDS church online and find out a lot of stuff. Especially on YouTube.

Gotta be a reorg or a lie. Jeff is experienced in lying on camera - reference BBC documentary

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: April 26, 2016 10:52PM

Does anyone tabulate / track the number of members per stake?

what are the trends??


I doubt if there's much Co$t (overall perspective) to creating a new stake, but the PR benefits... Priceless!

Bucking Bronco ?! really????

I can't think of a worse analogy...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/26/2016 11:00PM by GNPE.

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Posted by: Historischer ( )
Date: April 27, 2016 07:30PM

I actually enjoyed the link. Listened to all of his talk, as well as his wife's. She sounds older than him.

Something he said really scared me. Boorish, uncaring, and highly revealing. "Those of you who've been through the temple, we've done everything we can for you." Wut?

What he means is that once you're locked in by covenants and fear, they expect you to do all the helping and supporting, without getting anything from them. Disgusting blowhard.

And I listened in a very tolerant way, enjoying what I used to think the church was. Then he comes out with that?

Sure, that plan's gotta work. Expect them all to be slaves, your version of "adults,"and they'll never ask any questions. Slaves are always happy, right? Says so right there in Ephesians.

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Posted by: cinda ( )
Date: April 27, 2016 09:15PM

"Growth is the single greatest problem......" Haha. I think the recent bad press re:BYU/Honor Code, and others of late are a greater problem than their so-called growth difficulties

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