All around me are other mormons that carry on with their lives just fine. They accomplizh things. They're leaders. I am having a hell of a hard time seeing myself as anything but a slave. I honestly can't fathom myself leading, I follow and do what I am told. Keep having recurrent dreams where I am literally a slave. An obedient slave willing to serve my kindly master. Its not just submissive fantasy either, its so often to the point of being sick.

I am---most of the time---fairly skeptical of most dream interpretation, but in your case and regarding the dreams you describe, I would pay respectful heed to them.

Your "self" is trying to communicate something important to you.

You may have judged yourself too harshly and found yourself wanting, based on the harsh judgment...

Also, you may have accepted a third party's estimation of what constitutes 'making it' in life. If your car is over five years old, if your dwelling has less then 3,000 sq. feet of living space, if you and all yours don't have the latest iPhone...

See what I'm getting at?

There is a Gold Standard for males in mormonism. When you don't measure up, and you're buying into that Gold Standard, of course you're going to be hurting.

Ever see happy *slackers*? It's because they self define.

try Jesus OPie~



IN B 4 ~ 1 Corinthians 7:22

I wasn't exactly a stellar Mormon. Didn't serve a mission, didn't try to convert my friends or coworkers, didn't hand out any BoMs with my testimony in them. I felt like such a failure. But now I'm like "Thank God!". I'm glad I never sold anyone on that infernal religion.

If you want to have it all, direct your wants such that you want the best for other people. With no ulterior motive. You will reap what you sow.

ARE the people around you leaders? Really? Because I think the 'leaders' in the church are really just slaves that work harder. Sure, maybe people pat them on the back and tell them what a good job they are doing, but they have less time for what they want to be doing in their own lives than you do.

I just got done reading a great book: "F**k It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way". Maybe you aren't getting stuff done because you are letting other people set the agenda for your life, and your heart isn't really in it. Start saying no, or "F**k It", and do what you truly want to do with your own life.