Seriously. I went through the temple expecting something biblical at least and got Lois. I knew a cute blonde Lois once but I've known a lot more little grey haired grandmas with that name. Geez, people, give me something I can work with. Another poster said her name was Edith and I believe there is a Hulda or something among us, as well as a Martha and Abish. Do the elderly workers in the temple pick names that were popular in their childhoods, back in the 1930s?

I think we should get better, sexier names. What worthy priesthood holder wouldn't prefer a harem full of women with names like Tiffany, Shelly, Bambi, Nicole, Shauna, Gabrielle and Heather? I don't suppose it matters as much with the guys, since their wives never find out their names, but I'm hoping for my DH to turn out to be a Jared or Trent or something. Otherwise, I'm going to make him go through the eternities with his mortal name, which is on a list of the top 10 sexiest names for men. I don't want him to downgrade to a Percy or Igor. (PS, before anyone gets insulted, if you knew what my real name was, you'd understand why I so badly wanted a better name in the temple at least. For me, Percy would be an upgrade. Sigh)

Maybe we could show them this link:

http://library.thinkquest.org/4626/sexy.htm


Or maybe it's almost midnight here and I'm working in a Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino induced frenzy of silliness and should go to bed.

All that I can say is that of all the biblical names, mine was Roman, Butch and awesome! lol

Sister CA girl, ________, having an external urinary device, I place this sexy underwear upon you
(for and in behalf of _you_______, who is alive), which you must wear
every night to bed, especially if you want to snuggle with your husband. Inasmuch as you do defile
it on a daily basis, and are true and faithful to your ideals, it will be a
shield and a protection to you against germs and whatnot, until you have finished your work in bed or on the sofa, or maybe even in the kitchen if the children aren't home. With this
sexy underwear, I give you a new name, which you should always remember,
and which you must keep sacred, and never reveal except at a
certain place and time in the sack. The name is
"Nadia".

I suppose they didn't want to push us over the edge, by giving us yet another clue to the absurdity.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2010 04:40PM by atheist&happy:-).

Brah ExMormonRon,

having extrodinarally bad breath and a slipping "divot" toupee, I place these Jebus Jammies upon you
which you must wear every day and night until such time as accumulated skid marks measure, in aggreate, more than 19 inches. In as much as you wear the Jammies right-side-in on a daily basis, and are true and faithful to the Norman Fishin' Tackle Choir, they will be a shield and a protection to you against Yanni and his Pan Flute, Sade, Lady Gaga, George Michael, Donny Osmond, Enya,and any other bastard or bitch that can't sing or make music worth a shit. With these Jammies comes a new name, which I give you and which you should always remember, and which you must keep sacred, and never reveal except at a certain place heretoafter revealed in your McDonald's Monopoly Squares. And the new name is "Johnny Wadd".

From Paul's letter to Timothy:

2 Timothy 1:5
"When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also."

It is surprising how many female names used today are from the Bible, particularly considering how little is said in the Bible about these women.

I was raised by Mormons.

There's a place on the north end of Beck Street in Salt Lake that will give you ladies new, sexy names. Names like Passion, Dakota, Lexxxie, and Chasity. This place is just like a temple... you have to pay to get in, there's no windows so no one no one knows what goes on inside, and there's a whole lot of worshiping of heavenly-bodies going on.

Cal girl. Lois ws a biblical name whom Paul praised for raising her grandson so godly. I can't recall the chaper and verse right now, but she was mentioned in the NT

For all the hate and trash talk of Emma Smith there was in the church I was surprised that I was given that name.

It always made me pay attention to what Emma's life was like. I kind of empathized with her for years. Then I find out she collaborated with JS. If he was going to "marry" rich young orphan girls and boink them, then Emma made sure she got something in return; a big fine house worth $5,000 in her name only!!!! Wow! Isn't that about 3 million now???

And there is the name Tabitha???? I don't remember where in the Bible that name is, but in America it is famous for being the name of a witch!!!!

So we have Emma and Tabitha in our family.....:)

OH IKKKK! With the influence of this board it just occurred to me; what if the name "Emma" meant JS got extra wives to call through the veil if her unworthy husband wasn't available???


Is that how the guys planned it???

Give temple names of their wives so they could seine net the rest of the 'worthy' but single women in the church in across the veil by giving the future generations of mormon temple women the same name???????

Can't ya see in RS? It's okay, if my husband doesn't make it to the CK because I was given the name of one of JS wives so I'll be his in the future! Oh lucky me!!!!!

barf barf barf (my little dog says)

Bella, Rosalie, Alice, Esme, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, etc. The temples could have periodic Twilight theme days. Come get your new Twilight name! The kids would love it. lol

Dude, I was given the new name of Kowalski! How action packed is that?!

Absolutely hilarious! Thanks CA girl.

sorry, did you say kowalski or Mike wazalski? I would have loved it if my husband got kowalski... instead he got nimrod. NIMROD!
They might as well have called him nincompoop, because that is what I think everytime I hear Nimrod.
I can't complain about mine, I got Phoebe. Kind of like that. But Phoebe is just too cool to be with a Nimrod.

Does anyone have a list of all the names? I mean, it's according to date so on a given day all men have the same name and all women have the same. Has anyone sort of worked this out or perhaps just taken the list from a temple or something?

They called me Jesse which I think is a perfectly fine name, lucky me :P Anything's cool after Kowalski and Nimrod :D Where the heck does Kowalski come from, I mean that's a frikkin' East European surname!