spent thousands of hours in service, brought dozens of people into the church, attended thousands of meetings, bought into every f#$%^ JS story ever invented, stood up for the church hundreds of times, and basically every thought was controlled by this church.

How do I look at this? (Feelings change)

Oh My God--I am the most GD stupid person alive!!

Better late than never to recognize my errors.

What could I have done with all of that time and money??

I need another glass of wine.

What a f@#$$%& evil church.

Thank God for this board and others that have taught me the truth.

Sad and yet happy.

I need another glass of wine (LOL).



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2016 08:27AM by sam.

Do you want Tom Cruise's phone number?

LOL

sam -- I'll drink to that :)

I think it shows the depth of the indoctrination to which you were subjected. At least you are out now (and have wine.)

Thank God for the wine. But, the indoctrination starting at age 3 is pretty intense.

Let it go, man. I won't bore you with the details, but I was so convinced I went through the court of love bared my soul. Cried like a school girl. 'Humbled' myself. When I discovered the truth I was so f&cking angry. Beyond angry. Took me a while. Know what I mean?

Sit outside. Enjoy another glass of wine. Smile and tell yourself how lucky you are to be free at last.

Check out the sunset. Breath in freedom. Now, can I get my money back, you dick heads...

I am amazed you found your way out after all that.
Kudos and more wine to you!

It wasn't easy, believe me. The longer you stay, the more you are brainwashed. The most important thing was that I kept an open mind and read everything. A couple of bad experiences in the church made me wonder which led me to open my mind even more and objectively look at many things (letter to the CES, John Dehlin's work, earlier anti-Mormon works, this board, etc.). Once you stop drinking the cool aid and start looking at the facts, it isn't hard (except for family and friends).

The past cannot be changed. Think of how much money you have and will save from when your eyes were opened. Think about how your life will be enhanced with new experiences prohibited before. Look forward not behind.

Thanks evergreen--that is how I try to think about this everyday.

For me tithing is what got me out. I started paying tithing in my 40s thinking I should live my religion. I paid a full gross (and it was gross in the other sense of the word) 10%. One year the BP asked me to also pay fast offerings. I paid that year then got mad because I was paying more than 25% of my take home pay in tithing. I then figured I would only pay net and calculated what net would have been in the prior years and figured I would not pay tithing for the future five years to balance net and gross. I started researching tithing online, found evil RFM (I felt it was evil at the time but could not stop reading), read about tithing whitewashed to buy City Creek Mall so Gordie could say he did not use tithing money to buy the mall when in my opinion, all church money is tithing no matter the source. The TSCC goose was cooked by that time and I paid off my house with tithing money saved. woohoo. thank you tithing!!!!!!!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2016 05:50PM by evergreen.

that little move by gordon made me rethink tithing as well. I haven't paid since. What amazes me is that tbms really buy into the idea that the big mall is just fine. They don't stop to think that all church funds are essentially tithing. The bretheren can do no wrong.

My family is living paycheck to paycheck because of the amount of tithing we paid...INSTEAD of investing that money. This is the hardest part...we are suffering because of this fuking fraud-con that was handed down from our parents. I pray every day I could be alone in the elevator with the likes of Monson, Oaks.etc...

I feel the same way. I also know the type of ridiculous advice given by Bishop, SP's, etc. Actually, I gave some of the same advice when I was a Bishop. Thanks for your comment.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2016 07:26AM by sam.

It's actually worse than BS. All of that guilt-based control conditions you to feel unworthy of true success so you self-sabotage. It's like the Church busy work is a handy excuse to not go out and improve one's circumstances. If you want blessings, just pray, pay and obey! And keep your hands off the monkey.

sam Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Oh My God--I am the most GD stupid person alive!!


Only if you continue to be a member and to pay for the privilege of being lied to.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2016 08:57PM by wine country girl.

You are right wine country girl. At least I got out of there. I learned the hard way but trying hard to offset my mistakes.

Wow! You made 5 million dollars! Can I be your son?

That was over 30 years time. It also includes Fast Offerings, missionary contributions, humanitarian aid, etc. Probably not impressive when you break it down over many years.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2016 08:29AM by sam.

I was really poor during my active years and couldn`t spare a buck so I never really paid much tithing. I never bought into that whole idea anyhow, maybe the blessings of a full time job could`ve come sooner if i paid that meager tithing:)

who said "don't look back - something might be gaining on you."

$500K is more money than I will ever see in my lifetime. I really feel for you but you can't turn back time or put the rain back into the sky. I have done many things that I would have done differently had I known what was going to happen but I didn't at the time.

There is reason the windshield is much larger than the rear view mirror..Lessons learned actually save generations from making the same mistake..... Blessings

Gatorman

Yes, Sam, we were all GD stupid people. But, you (and we) had the personal power and intelligence to crawl out of it.

Gatorman, that's the best analogy I've heard!

1) Discovering we are in one
2) Breaking free
3) Recovering
4) Trying to rescue others
5) Living with the aftermath (Possible divorce, family shunning, friends dropping off the map, 10% pay raise, free weekends, living an authentic life, shelf unburdened, integrity, etc.)


One of the common characteristics of the Recovering stage is anger. Lots and lots of righteous ass anger.

I'm still there:)

You forgot better looking underwear in you list

Sounds like my folks. Gave the church a fortune, went to temples all over the world and died with almost nothing.

RB

Yahoo - I'm in the same boat and we could not be happier, but it does piss you off and make you feel like an idiot for staying so long.

tithing is 'voluntary'!

the $ you GIVE to LDS, Inc. is a GIFT, not to be remorseful or understood.

because you be Jeffrey Holland. Yup, good ol' Jeffers up there in front of thousands twice a year blabbering his bullshit and totally clueless as to what a fool he is. He not only uses circular reasoning he uses circular emotionality.

"The truth make me cry. If I cry speaking in General Conference then the church is true."

Sam, I am glad that you got of the celestial circle jerk in time to get a real life.

"Oh My God--I am the most GD stupid person alive!!"

I like to think that our eyes were closed as if we were asleep. Then we woke up from this horrible nightmare.

I like that, cognitivedissonance.

My feelings--some regrets (of course), some gratitude (I fought my way out of the cult where the odds were against me after decades of dedicated service and involvement), some gratitude that I now drink wine and coffee (love both), some gratitude that my Sunday's are now available to me, some sadness that I am being shunned by close cult friends, some sadness and excitement that I am trying to find out who in the hell I really am, some awareness that I am pretty knowledgeable about a lot of things, some sadness in that I have been a dumb SOB for decades, etc. Many feelings and emotions but, the net effect is POSITIVE!!!!

Primary, YM, Priesthood, Mission, EQP, Bishop, HC, not missing a Sunday, doing everything you are supposed to do (within reason), being controlled by an extreme TBM wife, never even thinking the church could be false for 30 years. I am sure I am not the only one that has gone through this but the odds are slim you will break out of this situation. I am thankful I was able to do so!!! How did I really do it? It is a long and complicated story. But, all that matters is that I did it. It is never too late.

Religion is an expensive lesson. Not just in money. Developing a revulsion for it has saved me all kinds of stress and lousy conversations as well as time.

Time is a bigger deal than money (to me). It is wasted time and emotions. The only thing I am really upset about is JS, current GA's that lie, local leaders that do not have a clue, and those that empower them. Thanks for your comment, donbagley,