Do you talk and sound like and adult with an adult voice, now? I have often said that t when I left Mormonism, I found my "voice" . I also took my voice back. My real voice.
I am referring to a specific kind/type of "voice" that is distinctly Mormon female, particularly Utah Mormon female. Know what I mean? It is soft, sweet, has that "nice-nice" tone.
I mention this because one of the things that used to make my skin crawl is the number of adult women who talked in that child-like "voice"! Most of them used it to some degree. You all know it: a little high pitched, slighter louder than a whisper, so syrupy sweet it drips.
The men adopt the GA Drone Voice but the women have their own.
I never did have a mousy, quiet voice! Nope. As a convert, I came with a full bodied well developed voice from childhood! But I found myself adopting a different "voice" for church talks ,meetings etc. that was slightly softer, sweeter etc.
Not all women used that "voice" but many did, especially when teaching. They often sounded like they were talking to five year olds when they were teaching adults in RS also. And the five year old rote questions and rote answers. It all went together.
Is this what that Mormon female "voice" is all about: tradition resulting from the position of serving under the priesthood, (pun intended)--the voice of a person conveying the attitude of; I will acquiesce quietly and lovingly and sweetly and never offend, rock the boat - is that it?
It's so distinct, I can tell when I am talking to a Utah Mormon, in particular, on the phone. Call SLC/COB and you'll see what I mean.:-)
The main difference in my "voice" is that now I sing. And I do so without fear of how I sound. Also, I am not expected to sing about JS, etc. In TSCC I was expected to sing songs I did not believe and read aloud scriptures which I knew were a fraud. Eventually, I stopped singing and refused to read aloud any of the special Mo scriptures. Now, away from Moism, I sing loudly (softly also where it is in the music).
Or to cuss in the high pitched whisper! Lol In my final ward, we had a lady who would talk normally except when telling a testimony in rs or sm. Then she would talk in this little girl voice in a whisper so quiet sometimes you would miss some of what she said. And she always did this with a peculiar grin on her face. She looked like the joker whispering some weird stuff. I always wanted to jump up and slug her one, but you know how it is.
My voice never needed to change. But many times I had wondered, as an LDS woman, "Why don't I sound like that?" When I speak to my sister who lives in Idaho, she starts off sounding like the sweetest little singing bird, and it takes a long time of us talking about our lives before she eventually drops "the voice" and her real, earthy voice is revealed.
I used to imitate the so called spiritually sweet, soft, gentle female voice as a joke with my husband, who knew I found that silliness disgusting. The same with a male friend who would imitate the GA Drone! There is a distinct Mormon type dialect that is generational, I heard it in the TBM relatives of my husband.
I grew up developing a huge voice developed from standing on the porch and yelling for my brother who was in a house several doors away with friends. Mother told me to call for my brother. So I did! Someone would come outside and answer me! I also did a lot of public speaking in school and later some theater. Consequently, as a convert, I never developed that sweet, syrupy voice! :-)
Dave the Atheist Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > When you stop being a mormon you get to use your > grown up voice.
Isn't that the truth. I never did have that female Mormon voice as I was a convert, but I didn't have to pretend anymore. I was not good at pretending either.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/29/2017 10:33PM by SusieQ#1.
It does sound very childlike now when I hear it. During my visits to Utah and Idaho these past couple of years I run into it all the time in stores, and elsewhere.
It's almost like a native dialect peculiar to that segment of the population and section of the country.
When you stop to think about it, the childlike voice in a singsong tempo is part of the brainwashing effect the cult has over its members lives (lock, stock, and barrel.)
Finding your authentic voice again is a wonderful thing, whatever that sounds like.
I've heard a similar more dynamic inflection when watching people from polygamous groups. The FLDS, in particular. I think it's a combination of the area and the religious teachings that has developed over the years.
My voice is raspier, is that what you mean? Turns out to be a gastric reflux problem. I no longer have to moderate my voice for church. I no longer have a prayer or speaking voice, as I likely once did.
As for things I say, I say "goddamn!" and "fuck!" now, way too often. DW wants me to tone it down in case I do it by accident when grand kids visit. Just this morning I knocked over my glass of orange juice and shouted "Fuck!" DW was still asleep. I should have toned it down.
If I hear bullshit and its in a situation safe for me to say bullshit without offense then I do so. Other wise it's 'bull' or ridiculous, or fallacious, or non sequitur, or that one thing you tried to compare is not like the other.
When I call bullshit or use any other 'I call you on that!' words I always follow it with "Here's why".
mormon guys didn't like dating me. I spoke my mind most of the time, even when dealing with my gay boyfriend and the bishop trying to tell me "this is how it needs to be." I'd go in and tell him I didn't think he was correct. But I did cave and marry more to get them out of my life than anything.
My dad never took any bullshit in his life and we learned to do the same thing.
It's the voice of subservience and passivity. It's a way to diminish yourself.
I never had it -- I left the church while pretty young, but also lived in "the mission field." But I knew some Utah-daho transplants who brought that voice to Ohio with them. They were always the nastiest, gossipiest, passive-aggressive assholes in the whole ward.
I also spent most of high school in theater and had learned to project my voice to the back of the auditorium. Also, my parents are super blunt and opinionated -- we do not beat around the bush in my family, we say what's up. So it seems that was all a recipe for not fitting in with the church biddies, ever.
The only time I'm soft spoken now, is when I'm at work and need to keep someone's personal information as private as possible. Otherwise,I'm not afraid anymore of voicing an opinion, and in a normal voice. One of the women in the neighborhood, who is TBM speaks in that grating, squeeky, baby girl voice and it takes all the restraint I can muster not to say something. That's one of the effects of being in TSCC-being made to feel very submissive.
The mormon woman voice where they talk to adults like they're talking to preschoolers always sent shivers up my spine. So the only thing that changed in my voice after resignation is all the words that I never said before that seem to flow out of my mouth much easier all the time. I just really don't give a shit what other people think. Sometimes there just is no substitute word that truly conveys my feelings. If there is, it takes time to think it up and too many wasted syllables to convey it. Like, "I don't give a dirty stinky cow's turd what other people think."
Wife has a TBM friend who uses the "keeping sweet" voice; indeed, she exhibits a full set of "keeping sweet" behaviors: extremely self-effacing, uber mild-mannered, etc.
I can't really imagine how she came to internalize this "church approved personality" - where has the genuine self gone?
The thing that freaked me out the most were the women "leaders" at GC. Here they were supposed to have responsibility and authority, and they sounded like ridiculous, simpering children, with the rank and file women members expected to honor whatever they would say. We would go over their "beautiful" talks in RS and pick out lame little phrases that were presented as deep and wise. What a load of crap!
I know what you mean by that "voice" otherwise known as the RS President/child-like voice. For me, I never really had that voice as an adult, so it could be one of the reasons I never lasted long in the organization.
I was an RS president, did not have the voice, did not have the ability to swallow crap. I fell into a depression, and they still resisted giving me my requested release. I felt humiliated, crying and begging for release, with the bishop just looking at me with his "understanding" face. It was a perfect example of doctrine being valued over people. It was more important to them to not have an important calling empty than to relieve real suffering. Now I realize I had all the power in the world to just say "I quit this job" as I did when I said/wrote "I quit this church"!
I am not a native to this part of the country, but I noticed this way of talking instantly when I moved here - not locally so much, as this must be the least-Mo part of Idaho, but my job involves talking to a LOT of people from Utah, and from much more Mo parts of Idaho. It makes me want to tell them pretty much the same thing a former choir director of mine did, substituting "speak" for "sing" talking to the altos one day - "Get down there and speak like WOMEN!"
My voice is naturally high, and if anything I tend to try to pitch it a bit lower if I'm thinking about it. And I swear a lot. The "voice" drives me batty! I almost lost it the first time I heard, "Oh my heck! Where IS my credit card?" SO UTAH MO.
No. They always told me that I had the perfect voice for those heinous obscene phone callers. I was continually called upon to read the villainous parts out of the lesson manuals. Ha ha ha
I have taught tennis and swimming, so, not. Also, I'm from California.
Loud laughter also gives us powerful lungs.
My mother always called it "the temple voice." I didn't get it, until I finally got to go to the temple, and heard it for myself:
"Be sssshure to lock up all your posssssessionssss."
"You can't ssssssit here--there'ssss another group coming through--move along, now."
My normal cousin married a BYU girl with "the voice" carried to the extreme. She sounded like a four-year-old, and she would actually talk baby-talk to my cousin. When my other cousin heard this, he laughed hysterically, for the rest of the night!
I also know what you mean about "the stare." It's a glazed-over look, and the eyes seemed unfocused, or focused on the left side of your skull. (Left, upward focus indicates lying.)
Another trait that Utah Mormons have mastered is the frown-smile. You think they are smiling, but the corners of their mouth is going down.
Probably, if you analyzed Mormon characteristics one-buy-one, they would all add up to "weird."