So quick background, I was hugely into this website back in the late 90's and early 2000's and I sent in my letter oh around 2002 I think. I moved on from the church and then somehow someway I received a very good job offer to move to Salt Lake City back in 2011. I went for it and am actually glad I did. Life was chill, I didn't associate with any Mormons which I think was the main reason Utah was cool.

Then I met my future wife. A beautiful woman from Orem. So of course I ask her what her affiliation with the church is, because you need to set that boundary. Well she was raised in it but clearly didn't believe and didn't go. I let her know my whole history and also that I wouldn't move forward in any relationship with someone who was a believer. She said she understood and respected me being up front but that she definitely wasn't going back. And she hasn't! I was not a jerk about it but just being upfront.

So married, I adopt her two girls, we have another baby, buy a house, life is great. Except her Mom constantly criticizing her about not going to church. According to MoMom we are awful parents, bad people, the whole nine yards. I have been nothing but polite and cordial when it comes to them and their religion. When they come to our house I let them bless the food, I won't drink, nothing but a great host. I've never said anything derogatory to them about their religion. But when she told my wife to divorce me and find a good Mormon boy then she would be happy that was the final straw for both of us!

My wife let her have it. So what does MoMom do? She sends my wife's records to the local ward and the harassment beings! People constantly knocking the door, always when I am not home for some reason. They leave stupid little gifts on the door, in her maiden name also. Then one night when I'm out of town they knock on the door at 8:30pm. My wife had all the lights off in the house. They kept banging on the door. Woke up two kids who were then terrified someone was trying to break in. There is no shame with these idiots.

My wife hit her breaking point with them and sent in her letter. We now schedule things on Sunday so as to make it inconvenient for them to come. We also drank in front of her last time she was over. It was quite hilarious to see the reaction. The fake smiling trying to hide the burning eyes. Point being this church does not encourage family, it tries to tear them apart!

Salt Lake was great when I had no Mormon involvement. Now that I do my wife and I hate the valley and are looking to move. She wants to move to Montana as in her words "it is as far away as I can get from them".

Utah would be a wonderful place to live if not for the mormons. As it is, I wouldn't want to spend much time there - and none of it interacting with the natives.

The "natives" are cool, the "locals" suck.

But I agree. nothing wrong with that part of the country, but the local religious folk sure do ruin it all.

That sounds like a typical experience when someone 'leaves the fold'. Happened to me. Parents unleashed the fury on me.

My nevermo husband (non-biased perspective) actually likes Utah. We have biked up the canyon and enjoyed the outdoors there. He has accompanied me to a few family reunions and we had a great time. My Utah relatives are very accepting of my nevermo hubby and never put pressure on him whatsoever. It's weird. Despite all that, I would NEVER live there because of my experience with Mormonism. We live in CA.

My nevermo mom hates visiting Utah, mostly because it means going to Provo. For me, I have no desire to even visit the populated areas of Utah, as it's basically a theocracy. The exception might be Park City, or Salt Lake City that isn't part of the Mormon Vatican, I mean the temple square area.

I think that Utah would be a nice place, but Mormonism ruins it in the end.

Mormons definitely make it suck worse, and I never realized it until I was out of the church. I'm specifically annoyed with the way the church controls our government here. I'm so sick of them forcing their moral agenda on everyone, when it comes to alcohol, porn, and a certain illegal plant. It's one of the many reasons I am desperately wanting to move out of this state. Maybe one of these days...(sigh)!

I don't know I think both to be honest I'm having the same issues in Idaho, don't move here that's all I gotta say I don't see Montana being any better either. I'm thinking of going back south again give Arizona another chance where atleast it doesn't snow in the southern parts.

Montana does seem to have a lot fewer Mormons. The population is sparser too overall than what you have there in Idaho, density wise.

It truly is "wide open country." It's a pretty drive through, but I'm not sure about the setting down roots part.

Simple: post a large "No Trespassing" sign on your property, warning that you'll call the police. Then do it, especially if they're banging on the door at night and scaring your kids. That's harassment.

Set boundaries: email the bishop or whatever and let them know you want NO CONTACT of any kind, towards anyone in the family (especially your underage children). If they violate, you will pursue legal action.

Once spring arrives, a nice refreshing blast with a garden hose does wonders to keep them away.

For MoMom, you get to set boundaries, too. It will be especially effective if your wife reinforces the message that anything they say or do to undermine your message or promote Mormonism to your kids will not be tolerated. If you two are consistent in hanging up the phone, walking out of their house, or asking them to leave, they'll get the message.

I've been living in Utah as an ex-mo for a few years now. The TBM relatives have given up on me (finally!) and my neighbors don't care what religion I am. It's actually a decent place and the outdoor activities are great.

I meant "undermine your marriage."

You couldn't drag me or DH back there to live if our lives depended on it!

Utah is pretty cool (...this coming from a SoCal person..).

Mormons screw it up...

Someone said to me...if you like the mountains, outdoor life, winter sports, summer sports, camping, etc....but hate the culture in Utah........move to Colorado..

Exactly. Except Utah has better scenery than Colorado. East Colorado is like flat Kansas & southern CO is butt ugly. Utah is probably the prettiest state except for Hawaii. But mormons, and especially the mormon government do everything to stifle adulthood. For a right wing, red state that purports patriotism, they sure go out of their way to quash freedom for non mormons. It's oppressive.

Sounds like you've gone to the wrong parts of Colorado!

Exactly! No nasty inversions too.

I just tell them he'll is like earth...except without booze or blowjobs. They don't come around anymore.

Mormons have the ability to make anyplace suck.
By their actions.

Just think what Utah could be like without 'em...

I've always loved the beautiful scenery in Utah; whether it's in the Uintah's or Big or Little Cottonwood Canyons, or the Red Rock beauty in Moab. We haven't been bothered by church members and that works for me. There are a lot of "inactives" in our neighborhood, so that makes it good also. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm in charge of how I feel; not others around me. I try to remember that mormons only represent about .02% of the worlds' population.

Utah is a very beautiful state that has been destroyed by mormonism.

They're despicable!

Ugh, what a story! Sorry for you having to deal with all that nonsense. But can't say I am surprised. I got similar harassment for awhile after leaving, but it made it much easier to be far far away from Utah and then far far away from my family.

Well, I only lived in Utah (sadly it was Provo) from 1990-95 for school. But when I left in 1995 I never went back, not until moving out West a couple of years ago.

Took a camping trip to Moab area, first time I set foot back in Utah in over 20 years!

Well I have to say, even though I didn't encounter Mormons directly (well I must have but they weren't overt about it,. so it wasn't talked about), I just personally didn't like the vibe. Moab is touristy and the 4 wheeling tourism has certainly ruined it even further and the town itself is just a truck route so it's very loud with semis passing through every few minutes.

So maybe I just didn't like Moab.. but I felt like there was a 'vibe' for me. That just made me want out of Utah! There are some scenic places but the Mormons have totally ruined it for sure. And maybe for me just going back on that soil at all triggers PTSD.

But I do hear of those who are either never-Mos or Ex-Mos living in Utah without too much trouble. Mainly it seems like they are in SLC or Park City, somewhere where there are people besides Mormons around. But the trouble is you're always in the minority there and the state and local governments are mostly ruled by Mormons, so good luck if you have an legal trouble in that state!

I have a friend, filmmaker who lived in a smaller town for a little while and got interested in doing a documentary about some scandal involving some prominent church leaders (or maybe just local ones, I don't remember), but in any case.. he was threatened by a Mormon, came to his door told him in no uncertain terms that if he pursued the film project he'd have his house burned down and maybe worse (With him and his wife in it!). He was scared enough to not only leave the project alone, but to move out of Utah altogether!

So I can understand wanting to move!

Good luck!

I hate Mormons All of them.

Utah was destroyed by Mormons' voracious breeding and ravenous destruction of agricultural land.

Last time I visited I was shocked by the urban sprawl and congestion. As far as i'm concerned its paradise lost. Mormons or not.

^^^^This^^^^^

Driving through the corridor between SLC and Ogden I noticed it most intensely.

Also between Logan to Ogden on Hwy 89. Urban Sprawl everywhere you look.

Crossing over from the Idaho border to Garden City, where South Shore of Bear Lake is pure urban sprawl. The Idaho side is still outdoorsy and rustic. Not so the Utah side. It's all built up with lakefront condos, trailers, suburban sprawl.

Sadly the Idaho side may come to that, but it hasn't yet.

There's still plenty of open land. The federal government owns 60 percent of the state.

Isn't that because there are like six national parks in Utah?

Can see them taking up 60% of the land space.

Of course, it's because of the mormons that it sucks. Utah is a beautiful place. I go back occasionally for some reason and realize there are things I miss. But I could never in a million years live there again. You don't even realize what an alternate reality it is until you've been away from it as an exmo for a long time. There are even some really great people there, some mormon, some not. Unfortunately, however, there are just too many stereotypical TBMs who are awful to live around. And it is a theocracy run by old geezers who don't have a clue.

NormaRae Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You don't even realize
> what an alternate reality it is until you've been
> away from it as an exmo for a long time.

I don't think it even takes a long time to see the change, NormaRae. DH n I go there and say, "what a gorgeous corn field". Six months later we go back and it's all rooftops! We see that over and over again!

I think that's why there is less of a focus on food storage these days. There's more money in developement.

I think both but I'm from Colorado so the typical thing that impresses visitors, the mountainous areas, are not overly spectacular to me. Mostly it's the Mormon theocracy that makes it suck, IMO.

Mormons can suck the life out of anything.

Your in-laws are particularly pernicious. I am impressed with you and your wife's steel back bones in dealing with the situation. Others will be inspired, I'm sure.

Such a beautiful state. It's just wrong that they got a hold of it.

Now that your spouse and hopefully kids have resigned it may get better for you.

I have lived in Davis county thirty years and had minimal interference in my life from mormons. Layton was particularly great. Maybe a visit once every 2 or 3 years by random missionaries. No ward harrassment at all.

There is absolutely nothing the church has to offer that improves families. The church makes being in a family feel like high school. You are loved only if you meet many conditions. There is so much dishonesty, judgement and competition. It destroys families.

I visited my TBM mom who now lives in SLC. All I can say about SLC is that it SUCKS! WHY? There is not a single art museum in the whole valley. I know it sounds like an odd thing to point out but there is a drought of art in Utah. I have heard that artists and philosophers are the first one to go when an authoritarian regime takes over. SLC proves that.

SLC is a city of millions and yet there is not a single art museum. It is baffling to me that everyone there seems to be ok with that. Utahns are idiots. I would never live in that state.

>SLC is a city of millions and yet there is not a single art museum.

http://umfa.utah.edu/

SLC has a huge Arts community related stuff, but you are right no art museum in SLC - except of course for the Church art museum - which is far more than Joseph Smith on velvet. There is also lots of great art in the conference center.

The Eccles Art center in Ogden and the Springville Museum of Art have great collections.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/31/2017 10:05AM by perky.

Your story seems to have has nothing to do with Utah. Its all about your mother in law. I can see not wanting contact with MIL, but what about siblings and dear old dad? Moving out of state because of your mother in law is like moving out of state to avoid an earthquake on the Wasatch fault. I would set the rules for her. She needs you more than you need her (grandkid, family parties etc,.). Anyplace you go will have a predominant something that you may or may not like.

Utah has more Nat't Parks than any other state and some of the best skiing in the world. You won't find anyplace else with the outdoor stuff, plus a city with Arts etc. Utah is a fantastic place to live. No, I don't work for the Utah tourist counsel.

Your facts on the arts are flat-out wrong and you insult an entire state of people. Real classy!

Not to be argumentative, but being from someplace on the east coast, north of NYC, I find Utah to be an awesome place.

Mormons treat me as well or better than catholics ever did.
My not being catholic eliminated most of the italian and irish girls from my dating pool, being italian/irish eliminated quite of few of the rest. Not being a party animal closed down another avenue of social mingling.

Half the population back there looked at me like a POS because I don't wear expensive clothes, drive a fancy car or do whatever the latest fads call for.

I lived there for what is about half my life, and here for the same. I'll take here anyday.

Here I have friends, some mormon, some not.
Here I can go someplace on Sunday and have a bit of space....
I also do not have to put up with a guy in a black shirt and white collar getting seated before me in a restaurant. At least the bishop/stake pres/GA/second councilor don't wear their badge of office on their collars when they go out.

Y'all don't feel like you fit in? Find your own people, they are around, but you do have to look.

Heaven for climate, hell for society....

I lived in that area for 31 years, and agreed! I'll take Mormon neighbors anyday!

I had to re-read the OP--sounded like Scientology!

Oh, Utah: we never go further than Parowan to go up to Cedar Breaks and Brian Head, so it's all good.

My brother proudly showed off his new house in Saratoga Springs a few years ago and when I looked at what a scrub brush paradise he'd moved into, I felt sorry for the prairie dogs....

I have heard that Utah is the only state in the union where all 4 tectonic zones can be observed in the open. I need to study more on geology. just looking at the place, the location by itself has some great geology going on. I generally like the location of Utah, because I am in a situation where I do not have to deal a lot with the troublesome MORmONS that run things. The other thing is that the state has some of the best post MORmON support groups around, for obvious reasons, and it is kind of fun observing LDS inc lose its death grip on its home turf which I really do think is happening. As far as the Utah legal system goes, they had their chance with me and they took it, big time, I have already been viciously raped by the Utah legal system, to the extent that I would say that the pledge of allegiance type stuff that they teach in elementary school is basically a fantasy. when a persons gets in trouble with the law, their rights become quite non existent. and JFTR I did nothing to warrant the horrible way that I was treated. She was a real nut case, who by "virtue" of our disintegrating marriage, only had to complain a little and I went to jail first and the questions were asked AFTER WARD. and JFTR again, to show how things really were working, it was her mother bailing me out of jail. I am hoping nothing like that happens again, as the chances of me marrying another woman as mentally ill as the first biggest mistake of my life are hopefully a lot smaller. Hopefully I am not too optimistic.

FWIW my MORmON family from another state does not like Utah because they do not like interacting with Utah MORmONS. LOL!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vjc9Gk379wE&t=56s

I technically haven't resigned my LDS Church membership...yet. But I am getting a little tired of the Mormon culture having so much say about what goes on around here...especially here in Utah County.

I'm thinking of moving to the Las Vegas metropolitan area. I'm not really the outdoorsy type and I hate snow, so I'm not into hiking or skiing (although I went snowboarding once.) Vegas is perfect for me, since it's not as expensive as SoCal, and the Mormons don't have political power there.

I grew up in Las Vegas. The mormons sure had a lot of power back in the 1960s, when Vegas had a 75,000 population. Now it's over 600,000 in Las Vegas proper and over 2 million in the valley.

Then there's the heat... And the possibility of a water shortage... Except in mid-summer when the underpasses get flooded...

And the figure posted by la iglesia mormona that they have 105,000 members in the Vegas Valley. Course they lie their asses off. But still...

I don't like Las Vegas.

Holy snikeys i remember this thread from a while ago.

I hate it when that happens

The one sided world view of some LDS people is astonishing. Also, the Church holds up free agency as the key to the plan of salvation, and it's all good, until someone uses theirs.

I grew up in Chicago. It was a good place to live in those days because my parents could afford a decent neighborhood. In the city, north side, not great, but not bad. It's not so good now unless you have lots of money. My parents are not alive now, but people like them can't live where we did now.

My life brought me to Utah 50+ years ago. It was much smaller without all the traffic or pollution. A lot of people have moved here, many to get away from places like Chicago, LA, etc. it used to be that the major growth factor was the birth rate. No more, the growth from immigration is now surpassing births. It's not the Mormons who are ruining this state, it's immigration. It's a free country and I'd never have it any other way, but if you're not happy living with Mormons because they bug you( even if they don't bug you)please stay put, we have enough people here now. Sorry if you had a bad experience here. No matter where you go...there you are, with yourself.

Please don't misunderstand, when I refer to immigration, I mean from other states..and my post was a bit tongue in cheek.

Mormons make it suck. It is probably the most diversely beautiful state in the country. But then again, I live in Tennessee. Talk about beauty. But the Evangelicals put a real damper on how wonderful the state should be.

I've lived here most of my life and even as a TBM, I hated mormon culture. My TBM daughter lives in Alaska to get away from mormon culture. Not much organized about mormonism up by Denali. (To me, obviously, she doesn't get the whole idea about mormonism.)

I didn't realize Utah was all that beautiful until my boyfriend pointed out to me how beautiful it was.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2017 11:17AM by cl2.

Beware of any place that has more churches than libraries.

During inversion conditions, it's not healthy along the Wasatch Front. Also, interstate traffic between SLC north or south can be a beast.

The other day, I was leaving the house and two men and two young boys approached. I said, "Hi, I used to be a Mormon. I was a high priest." They asked what stake I was in then. Anyway, I resigned in 2004.

It turned out that they wanted to see my grandson, who was blessed as a baby. No worries there; he's not interested but those records just follow you on and on, don't they?

It's really sad that Mormons feel the need to harass someone who was merely blessed as an infant. Two men and two boys! I would feel threatened if that many strangers came to my door at the same time.

I briefly lived in Utah (Taylorsville & Clearfield): I didn't like the weather extremes or the air pollution or the political climate...

I once contacted a member of the legislature asking that Unit Pricing be required at (large) grocery stores ( like Washington state)..

Legislator said: NO WAY!

Having lived here for the past few decades, I personally hate Utah with undying passion. Mostly because the Mormons make it suck. I mean it's about as close as you can get to a theocracy without leaving the U.S. -- porn is a "public health crisis," but the awful air quality isn't??? Really? And where else does Mormon propaganda regularly make it onto the local news? The meteorologist tonight was very specific about the weekend weather for "the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints." Like, really? Shameless plug much?

Plus a huge percentage of the population is Mormon so ExMos are bound to get into some awkward conversations and situations eventually. I've had acquaintances just assume I'm Mormon, I guess because I look the part, and straight-up ask where I went on my "mission." The look in their eyes when you tell them that you're an Apostate can be priceless.

Mormons makes UT suck..

The running joke/meme here is if, you like what UT offers but hate the mormony, move to Colorado..