Posted by:
scmd
(
)
Date: February 14, 2017 06:31PM
It's not just the Mormons. My wife's aunt was a devoted Catholic. when she passed at the age of 53 from complications of osteosarcoma, my uncle assumed he'd have the post-funeral luncheon catered by some local business. Before he'd made a final decision, someone from what I think was called The Altar Society called him and asked if they could have the honor of providing the meal for the family and close friends because my wife's aunt had been such an integral part of their association and of their parish. My wife's uncle's first mistake was not clarifying financial obligations, but his mind was on other things. My mother-in-law probably would have been the one to handle it, but she hadn't reached Florida yet from California.
The luncheon was held in the church hall. The food was quite mediocre. It was a very small amount of grocery store cold cuts and cheese with rolls, and some cookies and brownies for dessert. No one could have left feeling as if they had over-eaten. I recall being hungry. My wife and I went through a drive-through at a fast food restaurant on the way from the luncheon to her uncle's house.The total cost of the ingredients couldn't have been much more than $100 if the food were purchased at the most expensive grocery store in south Florida. Even if one factored in basically non-existent labor costs, the meal shouldn't have cost anyone more than $300. As the last of the relatives were leaving, a lady handed my father-in-law an envelope and asked him to give it to the deceased's husband.
When my wife's uncle opened the envelope, it was a non-itemized bill for $1,200 for the cost of the luncheon. My wife's uncle was livid. My father-in-law said to let him handle it. My father-in-law is wealthy and could have paid the Altar Society far more than $1,200 without missing the money; it was totally the principle.
The family assumed that a donation would be made to the parish for the priest's time, the utilities, etc., and in honor of my wife's late aunt. The musicians were paid separately. The funeral home, out of the fee paid to them, covered an honorarium to the priest and something nominal for facility use, but it would not have been much.
The next day my father-in-law went to see the parish priest. He handed the priest a check for what I believe was ten-thousand dollars, made out to the parish. He showed the priest the bill from the Altar Society for the luncheon. He explained to the priest that the Altar Society was free to hit him, the priest, up for a portion of the donation made to the church and he, as parish pastor, was free to accommodate their request or to decline. He also left with the priest a letter to the Altar Society thanking them for their time and explaining why their bill was being ignored.
No one in the family ever heard a word from the Altar Society, but when another relative from the other side of my wife's family held a funeral at the same parish, my in-laws were quick to alert them NOT to accept the Altar Society's luncheon hospitality. The family made other arrangements and had a much nicer luncheon for just over half the cost.
It's not just the Mormons who are cheap even in a family's time of bereavement.