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Posted by: sunbitch ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 05:23AM

I'm posting about this on exmormon just because I want to hear what you guys have to say about drinking. I want to make sure that I am safe when I drink and that I do it with the right people, the only drinks that I have tried are cooking whine and cooking rum and I didn't like those very much only because they didn't sit in my stomach very well.

I have also had a beer from a can the same night I had a few gulps of whiskey, Didn't like the taste of either,but I got a little drunk the first time that I drank it. I just want to make sure that drinking is for me, because I haven't had the greatest experiences with alcohol, the first couple times were just in small amounts, but it didn't sit well in my stomach. I just don't love the way it made me feel, but I have been on anxiety medication for a whole now, so I don't know if that's the case or not. I just want to hear some exmormon perspective on figuring out whether drinking is for me after a few not so amazing experiences.

Also, my grandfather was an alcoholic, and my TBM mom advises me not to drink, so I am just feeling a little paranoid. I am 19 years old and I plan on waiting until I am 21 from now on, but I just worry about how it's going to turn out.

I just want to make sure that when I drink, I do it safely and around people that I love and trust and also figure out if drinking is meant for me because of the few not so great experiences I had and see if I can find some stuff that I actually like, I'm sure I would like some of the fruity drinks, so far definitely not into the cooking crap at all, and I can most definitely pass on the beer. whiskey isn't really that good either.
-thanks, X's and O's (:.-

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/17/2017 05:24AM by sunbitch.

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Posted by: not mom ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 09:08AM

I'm fairly certain that most anti-anxiety meds will include a warning about drinking while on the meds, so it's good to hear that you're going to leave it alone for now.

It's not good or okay to break the law. I know you're learning about setting your own limits and boundaries, but this one you can pretty much carve in stone: "I won't break State or Federal laws."

If you are hanging out with people who do NOT have that internal limit, then they are NOT "safe" people with whom to learn about drinking.

Your mom may have a point. Alcolholism can run in families, and science is still researching the causes of that. Please read this through:

Mom voice:

Given these things, you have a couple of years before you need to visit this question again, RIGHT?

/mom voice

I have nothing against drinking, but right off the bat you've listed three very good reasons not to dabble with it for now. You don't "have" to drink to be an exmo, and no one, including yourself, should pressure you to do so. There's plenty of time to get your "drinking legs" under you when it becomes legal for you to do so.

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Posted by: bobofitz ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 09:23AM

Young man, you have asked for advice. You will receive a lot of peer pressure to drink. It is the central theme of much of the social life for people your age . The effects of alcohol are different for everyone. Since you have had unpleasant effects, listen to your body. Drinking with prescription medication, especially anxiety and anti- depressants can be very dangerous. Next time you are talking to your doctor, ask them what they think about you drinking. If you have a family history of alcoholic behavior, you should know that these behaviors are quite often linked to heredity. Take some time and educate yourself on this complex and controversial subject.

Drinking is not for everyone. Some have no problem and a little alcohol enhances their experiences. However, for some others it is a vicious master that takes over their lives. You are only 19, take some time to learn more before you imbibe. I will say that your initial experience, coupled with your family history and medication leads me to recommend that you abstain.

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Posted by: bobofitz ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 09:30AM

In my above post I presumed you were male. If I was mistaken and you are female, my apologies. However my advise would not change at all, except to warn you about dates who may pressure you. If this happens, listen to your mom's advice....

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Posted by: Itzpapalotl ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 10:16AM

You drank cooking wine? As in the stuff you get in grocery stores? And cooking rum? Aside from you're not supposed to mix booze and anti-anxiety meds, you don't ever drink cooking alcohols. Hell, they're more likely to ruin a dish if you use them rather than just regular wine.

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 10:44AM

Well duh. They're denatured. The manufacturers put stuff in to make it unsuitable for drinking. Usually salt. No wonder your stomach was upset.

Drink with a meal, the way nature intended. Food tastes better with a slight buzz on. I think you should wait a while, at least until you're 25, to experiment with your consciousness.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 11:00AM

Wow. The things I learn here. *LOL*

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Posted by: csuprovograd ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 04:22PM

Maybe the food doesn't necessarily taste better...if you're sloshed you aren't as critical about the taste. So, it is better.

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Posted by: csuprovograd ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 10:35AM

There's no good reason to drink alcohol.

That said, there may be times in your life when an alcoholic beverage may enhance the moment.

A cold beer after working in the yard, a shot of whiskey while relaxing on the porch on a summer evening, a fru-fru umbrella drink out by the pool, you get the idea.

You don't NEED alcohol, but alcohol can be a delight when the moment suits you.

Also, as a psychological medication or vehicle to take you from your life's problems is a crummy way to live.

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Posted by: Hamster on a wheel ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 06:03AM

Consider what sort of foods you currently enjoy. Then consider what might be available as a beverage. It might mean you looking at what wine pairs with your favorite cheese, port wine is always good with most cheeses. If you like creamy drinks then perhaps try something like Baileys Irish Cream. If you enjoy coffee add a shot of whiskey of something more adventurous like say a cinnamon liqueur.

At the end of the day though it really is okay not to drink. Over here in England most people my age would've had a beer or wine with lemonade (sprite type drink not country style!) When they were kids, you just kinda grow out of needing things watered down as you age.

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Posted by: scmd ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 06:47AM

Many chefs won't even use cooking wine for cooking purposes. That's how bad the stuff is. The extra salt was put in it to discourage sous chefs from getting too sloshed on the cooking supplies while they were working. Good chefs want to control the amount of salt in any given dish. Beyond that, wine is used in cooking for flavoring purposes. If wine is not good enough to drink (and it's NOT), it's not good enough for flavoring food.

Heed the labels on any medication you may be taking. Don't combine alcohol with medications that interact negatively with alcohol.

Regarding a TBM mom . . . My TBM mom would tell me not to drink, too. She's TBM. That's how TBMs think. Your mom might have some inside information regarding familial tendencies toward alcoholism, but she also has an ingrained TBM mindset.

If and when your medication situation becomes such that recreational drinking is an option for you, you can consider what drinks you would like to try. Try anything in small doses when you are in the right company. In any dating situation, the issue of consent may become blurred when alcohol is involved, especially when one is an inexperienced drinker.

I mostly drink red wine and beer. I often have a single glass of red wine with dinner if I have no plans to drink anything else. I drink up to two beers sometimes if I'm watching a sporting event, but I don't have wine on the days I have beer. At rare
social occasions, I have a single mixed drink. I find it better to avoid dark-colored forms of alcohol in mixed drinks. Other people may not have similar issues. If I'm on call, I drink no alcohol whatsoever even though I'm large. (At 6'3", 178 lbs., a single glass of wine consumed two hours earlier shouldn't affect my ability to perform surgery, but it seems wrong to take chances with other people's well-being.) It doesn't cause me a great deal of pain to abstain on the days I'm on call. I hope this is a good sign for me, but I'm careful regardless.

I come from a long line of TBMs who have mostly adhered to the WofW, so I don't have a great deal of data concerning alcoholism as it relates to my family.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2017 06:48AM by scmd.

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Posted by: cftexan ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 11:20PM

Just a note about anxiety, weather you are on medication or not. It's been my experience that alcohol often makes anxiety worse. Have heard this from many people. I have an addictive personality, and when I finally started drinking at 28, I immediately went into binge drinking mode. Personally, while I think many people can handle drinking in moderation, I think mostcamt, particularly young people. I actually think mormons are kind of smart not to drink. Just my opinion. I kind of wish I'd never started drinkimg.

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Posted by: mootman ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 11:29PM

What I have found is you will never stop learning about drink. It is the defining and confounding reality of human nature. Some historians and anthropologists believe it created human society itself
Then if you extend this to what different drugs will do to you... you could spend many lifetimes trying to figure it out.
I don't think it's wise to be so intentionally naive as mormons are expected to be. Likewise it's pretty wise to be very careful too.
I was impressed in one of Christopher Hitchens last interviews before he died of cancer, he said that so much drunken debauchery probably killed him but without it life would not have been worth it because it created so much rich engagement with all of his interesting people and experiences. But we all can't be him either
I try to keep it simple, stay with simple enjoyments. And I've found homebrewing is a great hobby for me

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: July 19, 2017 02:17AM

My first concern is about your meds. Anti-anxiety medication may not combine well with alcohol. Consult your physician or pharmacist about that. I *always* talk to my doctor if I have any question at all about how well my meds combine with alcohol.

Beyond that, be aware that anxious people may tend to over-use alcohol in an effort to self-medicate.

Never use so-called cooking wine for drinking or cooking! It is vile stuff. When you are ready, keep it light -- beer, wine, or the occasional mixed drink. IMO beginning drinkers should stay away from shots of the hard stuff. If you go to a bar or a party, go with friends and make a pact with each other -- you all arrive together, and you all leave together. Look out for each other.

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