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Posted by: connedvert ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 03:44PM

"We're so blessed." Is anyone else bothered by this remark? It makes my blood boil whenever I hear it or read it in a social media post. Mormons say it a lot.

A blessing, according to the dictionary is a favor or gift bestowed by God. So when people say they are "blessed" they're implying that God favors them.

I have a TBM Facebook friend who is incredibly fortunate. He comes from a very wealthy family and has never had to worry about being without. He's married to a pretty wife with two kids and a beautiful new home, big enough for a family of ten. His wife is constantly posting photos of their frequent vacations to Europe or Hawaii, attendance at expensive sporting events, etc. They let you know how wealthy they are although they think they are very humble about it. Then there's the frequent post of their smiling family with the caption: "we're so blessed." Do people not know how arrogant they appear when they proclaim that they are blessed, especially when they flaunt their wealth? I guess the people who are not as fortunate - struggling to pay the bills, dealing with health issues, starving, etc., are not favored by God.

I think people who constantly declare how blessed they are are trying to be humble, but I think the opposite is true. I think it's appropriate to have gratitude when things go well, but to call all good fortune a "blessing" implies favor from God, which isn't humble at all. Why would God favor one person and not another?

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Posted by: Visitors Welcome ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 04:00PM

The meanings of words can change over time, so I'm not bothered by the "blessings directly from Dog" implication. I think many TBMs just use it in the "I'm so lucky" sense rather than the "we are Dpg's favorite".

But what bothers me is that most of the people I've heard say it were not so blessed at all.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 04:14PM

A few years ago, my TBM sister in law put up a post on facebook.
There had been a school bus accident, the bus involved was the one two of her children were riding on.

It went (essentially -- not a word-for-word quote) like this:

"There was an accident with the kids' school bus today! I was so panicked! It was at least 20 minutes after it happened before I found out that my 2 kids were OK! We're so blessed, Heavenly Father was certainly looking out for them today, they're fine!
Unfortunately, 1 child died, and 10 others were injured.
So sad."

THAT post used the "we're so blessed" line as the OP describes. God was looking out for HER wonderful mormon kids, but clearly the kids who died or were injured didn't merit god's protection. And she wanted to be sure to let everyone know that her and her children were "blessed," meaning worthy of being looked after by god, but the others weren't.

It disgusted me.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/17/2017 04:14PM by ificouldhietokolob.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 04:14PM

I call that "conspicuous consumption." Flaunting what they have isn't exactly humility.

Somewhere in scripture it says it is better to have a little than a lot. When someone has so much wealth they forget where it came from, and becomes puffed up in their own eyes - full of pride and arrogance. It is 'pride that precedeth the fall.'

Too little, it reduces a person to a beggar. It's hard to be focused on others welfare when one's own survival is in peril.

Then there's the scripture that "Money has wings and flies away." All the wealth in the world can disappear tomorrow. I went to a museum tour recently of the Darwin Martin residence in Buffalo, NY that was designed for him and his family by Frank Lloyd Wright around 1905. At the time it cost app $300,000 to build (today its renovation is valued at $50,000,000.)

Martin and Wright became best friends after Martin became a millionaire. He'd gone from rags to riches. When he needed a house designed he hired Wright, who ended up designing two for him - one in downtown Buffalo, the other on Lake Erie called Graycliff. It was his family's summer residence.

Frank Lloyd Wright was terrible with money. Darwin Martin loaned him up to $70,000 before the stock market crash of 1929, that Wright never paid back after Martin lost every cent he owned in the Wall Street crash.

He went from rags to riches, back to rags again, and died penniless in 1935. He lost his homes to foreclosure.

He and Wright are both buried in the Forest Lawn cemetery in Buffalo. Wright designed both their tombstones. Martin was so poor his was not made until last year when a fundraiser was able to raise enough money to finally implement the plans for it.

It is quite a story of one man's rise and fall from power.

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Posted by: Dorothy nli ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 04:28PM

Blessed is a word that stands my hair on end. The only time I use it is when someone sneezes and I feel compelled. I say, "Bless you." As in, I bless you. Bless implies that God favors someone because they're innately valuable--chosen. Or God has decided to bless you because you're so good. The arrogance of either is amazing.

What's the opposite of blessed? Cursed. So if someone is rich and blessed, does that make someone else poor and cursed?

Disparity in life circumstance is the reality of the world. Who doesn't feel terrible about poor children in Bangladesh? I'll tell you who doesn't, people who think God decided to bless them.

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Posted by: left4good ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 05:40PM

What bothers me is that when someone says they are "blessed," by extension those who don't have the vacations, luxurious lifestyles, or whatever AREN'T blessed.

Can your blessed friends please explain why that's so? Why does their god bless some people but not others?

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Posted by: abby ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 05:48PM

I'd rather hear blessed than tender mercy/ies.

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Posted by: janis ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 06:00PM

Someone once told me that I was so blessed. I asked them why they thought that.

They went down the list of our belongings. I was a bit speechless. I asked them if they knew how we got what we have. They spouted off about the Lord blessing us bla bla bla.

I had to set them straight. We have what we do because we've been working our asses off since we were kids in HS.We've never inherited a penny. Nobody has ever given us anything. We haven't particularly been blessed with good health either. I have fibromyalgia, two kids are ADHD, hubby is Diabetic, third kid has a slew of allergies and emotional issues. We don't sit around and cry about it. It's called life. You keep on going and doing what you can. Along with that you try and make good decisions.

One good decision was to ignore other peoples pressure on us to have more kids. Not a good idea. Another was all the MLM people who wanted us to buy in. I could go on and on.

We are the product of good luck, hard work, and sound decisions. Once we left the church, things got even better. Blessed? Maybe, but I wouldn't know by whom or what. If its a Deity, he/she hasn't let us in on it.

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Posted by: Jonny the Smoke ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 06:03PM

My brother and sister in law use that phrase in just about every paragraph of their full page Christmas brag letter. They rattle off how well they are doing financially, followed by "we're so blessed"....Their kids are all great and doing so well, they are so blessed, they have financial freedom blessed. have lots of toys (motorcycles, boats, trailers, etc) blessed. Doing well at the business....blessed. Notice the financials are repeated over and over.

Last year I could barely stand it. I do well too, but I chalk it up to my hard work and dedication, not being blessed by a god because am obedient to his man servants on earth.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 06:14PM

The dictionary is right. "I'm so blessed" is actually a "humble brag." Nothing less. It is advertising that you are God's favorite because you are so wonderful. Gag me with a spoon. I can't stand when people say it.

Some people work so hard to accomplish something and when they pull it off they then give the credit to the Lord. Gag me again--this time with a spatula. In this case, "I'm so blessed" can be translated as "Not only am I fabulous but humble too!"

Like Tebow dropping to his knee in front of a stadium full of people. Gag me with a shovel.

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Posted by: valkyriequeen ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 06:55PM

During a testimony meeting a couple of years ago, someone got up and said how blessed he and his family were while on their Caribbean Cruise because they had the opportunity to hand out pass along cards. Wow.

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Posted by: sbj ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 10:18PM

Everyone on earth is "blessed" at one time or another, Mormon or not, Lots of rich evil are they blessed ?

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: July 17, 2017 11:23PM

My blessings are all temporal...and include my wife and family, my friends and being adopted by wonderful parents.

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Posted by: kathleen ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 01:04AM

Our inlaws had a fir tree split their house in two.

It ONLY! cost them $10,000 in insurance deductibles. Their bishop loaned them his chain saw.

They were sooooooo blessed!

Their daughter woke up with a gun at her temple on a bus in South America in the middle of the night. Robbers took everything from everybody on the bus--except her backpack. They didn't get her Book of Mormon! She was soooooooooo blessed.

So blessed. So very, very blessed!

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 01:34AM

They're so blessed to have their thoughts controlled by a crazy religion that can't stop lying to them. It's so wonderful to have an imaginary friend to grant you special favors, and church leaders to save you from having to think for yourself.

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Posted by: kizzie ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 08:24AM

I knew I guy when I was a member you would state that he was highly favoured by the lord,this woudl make me so angry,who did he think he was and waht about all the other members who were not so highly favoured,crass,pompous and no humility,he was comfortably off and enjoyed a good lifestyle,must have thought it all came from teh lord while the poor man at the gate was unfavourable.

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Posted by: esias ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 09:01AM

What on earth are 'blessings'? This throwaway incantation belies a thunderstorm of theological difficulties for the theist. Ask a Mormon if a definition of their God includes the characteristic that God is no respecter of persons and is more or less even-handed with everyone, and your Morgie will inevitably say yes. But what your Morgie is requesting is for blessings or to be blessed over and above their neighbour, for favouritism, for their God to interfere in the Space/Time continuum, especially for God's bluey-eyed favourite. And for your Morgie to believe that God would happily do so must be solipcism of the highest order.

How can you tell if you are blessed, and is there a sliding scale of reward? To claim to be blessed is to give God a free pass - everything from a lump of coal to your number of television channels can count as a direct dose of 'blessed'. And people inevitable think of the nice things of life - flowers, sky, sunshine, but neglect to think of 'blessed' for the not-so-nice things of life - tuberculosis, ebola, wasps, killing sprees, childhood disease etc.

'Blessed' is lazy thinking for Morgies who assume God is ready and willing to intervene regardless of the consequences.

I'd rather go without blessed and take my chances.

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Posted by: Sweets ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 09:51AM

It's like where we live where people say, "Bless your heart." It can be insincere or sincere, depending on the person. I just pass it off and say thanks, but I usually insincere in meaning "thanks."

I always loved the scene in that old movie, Shenandoah, where Jimmy Stewart is saying the blessing at meal time. To paraphrase, he says: Thank you Lord for our many blessings even though we did all the hard work and had little help from You. Amen.

I live well, thanks to my DH and me working our asses off for 40 years, not cheating people and being frugal. Our family thinks we are rich. I try not to brag but there are times when I will post a picture on Facebook of something I'm proud of - like the addition to our house. Then, some snarky person will post...must be nice to be rich! Then, I have to remind them that it didn't happen because we are rich - far from it! We did this addition from foundation to roof and all the interior work ourselves! So yes, we are blessed but we did all the hard work ourselves and little help from anyone.

Being rich is like beauty - sometimes it's just all surface. Strip away the makeup and look at the bank account. There might not be much there after all.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 10:20AM

"Being rich is like beauty . . ."

I like your point. I happen to know a lot of wealthy people who aren't interested in the trappings of the rich. You would never know to meet them that they are "multi-multies."

On the other hand, I know several right now who aren't sure how they are going to make their next payment on their luxury cars, but still swan around like it makes them something to have them.

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Posted by: Trails end ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 11:21AM

Often the old timers who made the wealth are like Sam Walton or Warren Buffet...just no big deal kinda's the snot nosed offspring so right full of themselves who come along flaunting their blessings that gets to had bugger all to do with it kids...other than being the fastest sperm to find an egg in the right kid carrier...that makes you special how??...I liked the story of the joker who won a dinner with Buffet...they went to McDonald's and yes he had coupons...I also liked his response when asked how much money he would leave his kids...enough so they can do anything...not enough they can. Do nothing...sure a lot of privileged parasites have self destructed...fame or money must be a huge burden to bear...thank gawd you don't have those blessings...I been dirt poor and I've been fairly well off...poverty really sucks..but we still found ways to have can live on air and sunshine but T-bone steak is better

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Posted by: Paintingnotloggedin ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 11:26AM

Is it utilized in a barely aware or dawning awareness that others work hard or harder yet have less?

That others also exist work effort fully but they have tornados flood tsunamis or dry wells stock market falls company collapse economic change employees layoff

Or born to opportunities to work learn and live in ways that are different than those born in drought , be it environmental radioactive nuceleotides harsh rain down wind / or born under a class signatures untouchable unreached by outreach labeled stigmatized clearly identified beyond the capacity of a given society's extending opportunities (to work and live and learn ) with dignity

Is it not also a way of, beyond beating the chest agranduzibg all ones accomplishments and saying, I, had the opportunity to work and to learn and I am acknowledging that opportunity as a privelige on the planet extended to me mysteriously,

Somewhat mysteriously, for who can claim the power over genes and where one born environmentally let alone culturally, who can claim the power over ones own receivership through birth over genetic phenotypes signature and how one received nurture be it Unloved or loving surviving or thriving . A person claims oversight and ownership over all of this serendipity ? Really? When it's really a receivership of serendipitous inherent tragedy we call mortality , we can succeeed but we must proceed
At terminal velocity

(Born as we are in the gravity well on the earth plane) when they say I'm blessed is that not just another way they say ,: it's another day I'm on the earth plane and I am enjoying the ride. I am enjoying my ride on the earth plane, how about you?

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Posted by: severedpuppetstrings ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 12:20PM

Oh yes. I was bothered by that remark even when I was a TBM. I remember one fast Sunday (I was a member for over a year), one guy comes up and shares all of the blessings that has fallen upon his household.
I'm sitting there bothered, and thinking of my own household: My younger brother is incarcerated, my youngest brother is either on drugs or drunk and constantly picking fights with anyone he feels like it, or tearing up the house. What is it that I'm doing wrong? What do I have to do to get blessed like this guy and every couple of members feel the need to brag about?

What seriously turned me off though (around the time I was in limbo as to whether I was going to leave the church or not) was when one guy gives a talk during sacrament meeting about how he was serving a mission in Brasil, and how he and his companions were having dinner in a family's home where the family were investigators. He then shared that the next day the investigator family came down with food poisoning, where he and his companions were well and healthy. He said, "It was Heavenly Father protecting us."
I wish you guys could have seen the WTF look I was wearing. He was pretty much saying since he was a part of "god's church" god was protecting him and his companions whereas the family were just mere investigators, and because of that god could give two shits about their health. It made me completely realize how arrogant the church can be. The example "We are sooooo blessed," "We are god's only true church" and the example that I just shared.

I do think the "declarers of blessings" are unaware of how arrogant they come off at times. And I feel that they are unaware as to how it may affect those that are struggling - with health, family, finances, etc.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2017 12:22PM by severedpuppetstrings.

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Posted by: connedvert ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 02:16PM

I don't begrudge anyone wealth and prosperity as long as it is acquired honestly, and I actually enjoy seeing posts of splendid vacations. What irks me is people trying to be humble by attributing their good fortune to blessings as it implies that God favors them - that's what bugs me. They must be super good and righteous for God to shower them with blessings. For some reason God chose not to bless people in other parts of the world where poverty and starvation are the norm.

Why not express appreciation without using the word blessed or blessing? For example, when posting a picture of the family in front of the colosseum in Rome, instead of saying "we're so blessed to be together in Rome," why not just say "So grateful to be with my family, enjoying the ancient wonders of Rome." The first statement implies favoritism from God and the second shows gratitude without suggesting that you are God's chosen. It's also OK to just say: "having a great time in Rome with my family."

Why do Mormons feel a need to call every good thing a blessing? Probably because they've been taught from a very young age that everything good that happens is a result of obeying the Mormon rules: Pay your tithing and be showered with blessings. So when a Mormon does well in life, it's because they were obedient and God is blessing them. Those blessings come at a price though: continue to pay your 10% or the blessings will cease!

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Posted by: dogeatdog ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 02:24PM

Yep - this, and "I'll pray for you."

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Posted by: connedvert ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 02:43PM

LOL! I'm going through a very difficult time right now and my TBM brother told me that he'll put my name on the temple prayer roll. Yea - that'll be a big help. Scary thing is that if my life does turn around, he'll stand up in testimony meeting and tell everyone that his sister was struggling, but after putting her name on the temple prayer roll, Heavenly Father blessed her with a good job. The church is true! Barf.

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Posted by: Breeze ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 04:07PM

My children and I are doing well in life--so far, so good--and we are extremely happy.

The "so-blessed" Mormon family members don't understand why we "apostates" are so happy. They enjoy being sympathetic and condescending towards me--because I have no husband, because I left the cult, because I'm being shunned, because I don't have 50 grandchildren. They get a perverse sense of superiority, by thinking they are more "blessed" than I, but at the same time, it sticks in their craw that I and my family are so joyful and loving and are having so much fun. They can see us coming and going.

Mormons teach against complacency. How dare we be satisfied with what we have, without always striving for more, more, more! (and more to give to the cult). Complacency is of the devil, they say. I call it "gratitude." There's greater benefit in sharing the joy, and lifting others up, rather than turning everything into a contest, and putting others down.

What a miserable lot they are. Nothing is ever good enough for them.

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Posted by: shapeshifter ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 04:21PM

I hate it too. It's very condescending and elitist. By implication others are NOT blessed like they are. And being a non-member (ex in my case) I can't claim to be blessed like they are, after all why would god bless an apostate, right?

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Posted by: Well Endowed ( )
Date: July 18, 2017 09:38PM

My response: clearly you are one of the chosen few yet so sad that he doesn't give a shit about the rest of us

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