A day before he was going to enter the MTC, he tells his
parents, on a family trip to Bryce Canyon, that he doesn't want
to go. Mom's response:

"When the tense moments blew away, his mother walked to the
family van, opened the door, removed her son’s suitcases, set
them on the ground, and invited her husband and two younger
children to load up. In a matter of seconds, they were gone."

What's unbelievable is that this was being touted as a faith-
promoting story.

LDS LIVING took the story down but here's the Google Cache of it:

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache%3A4AKifffFPTQJ%3Awww.ldsliving.com%2FFamily-Leaves-Son-at-Bryce-Canyon-One-Day-Before-Entering-the-MTC%2Fs%2F85934+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

I wish the kid had had my number. I would have taken time off work to pick him up from Bryce Canyon. It's scary that two adults could have thought this was appropriate. Both parents had to agree that this course of action was acceptable for it to have happened.My parents were TBM, but I'm confident they never would have been so barbaric as those parents were.

Whats the most disturbing is that this was being presented as a faith promoting story!

Here's the cleaned-up version. No mention of this TBM parents
abandoning him.

http://www.ldsliving.com/A-Grandpa-s-Perfect-Response-When-His-Grandson-Said-He-Wouldn-t-Report-to-the-MTC-the-Next-Day/s/85941

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2017 07:28PM by connedvert.

Unbelievable that his parents would ditch him in the desert like that. The mom is truly evil! I think the dad is puss_ whipped.

Years ago, when I was a terrible brat on a road trip, crammed in a small two door car with my mom and five siblings and fighting with my sister, my mom pulled over and told me to GET OUT! She was just trying to scare me, but I was a headstrong eight year old child and got out of the car. My mom took off, leaving me in a strange neighborhood. I was scared. After a little while she came back for me though. The last time she did it to me, when I was about 10 years old, she figured I was old enough to find my way home, and I did. Today what she did is considered child abuse, along with shoving a bar of soap in my mouth when I said a bad word. When I read about this young man being abandoned, I remembered that crushing feeling when I was a kid, left on the side of the road.

I hope there is a silver lining to this story. According to the article he still has difficult moments on his mission and has only been out for a year. Maybe he'll come home early and move in with his grandparents. I wish there was a way to send him a link to the original article with the comments supporting him and vilifying his parents and LDS Inc. Poor kid.

When I was about 4, or so, my mother had taken me along on a trip to the store or someplace. On the way home, she drove a different route than the regular one, and I didn't recognize where we were. I said something about this, and my mother (who could be downright sadistic at times) began saying things like, "We must be lost. Just think, you'll never see your Daddy, or Grandma, or Tippy (the dog), ever again." I started to cry, and begged her to pull over and ask someone how to find our way home. She just laughed. She kept repeating, "We must be lost. We must be lost."

I recounted this story to my DH, who is a mental health therapist, some years ago. He looked at me, and said, "That's it! That's why you are so terrified of being lost!"

I AM terrified of being lost. And I have an awful sense of direction, so GPS must have been invented for people like me.

What a cruel thing, to taunt a little kid who can't even read street signs yet. I was VERY grateful when we finally pulled up into our driveway. And of course, Mother had to get in one last dig: "There, now. We're home. Quit your sniveling."

baura Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Here's the cleaned-up version. No mention of this
> TBM parents
> abandoning him.
>
> http://www.ldsliving.com/A-Grandpa-s-Perfect-Respo
> nse-When-His-Grandson-Said-He-Wouldn-t-Report-to-t
> he-MTC-the-Next-Day/s/85941



I hope TBMs are able to see how re-writing history and apologetics work. A nip here, a tuck there, substitute some words. Puts things in a different light, doesn't it?

Only two versions? I can hardly wait for the third.

Thanks for posting it.

Let's not forget: LDS Living seems to fill a niche printing stories that even the Ensign would reject.

Even money says this incident never happened, and that the brain-dead editors imagined it to be a kick-ass faith promoter (i.e., lie).

logged out today Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Even money says this incident never happened, and
> that the brain-dead editors imagined it to be a
> kick-ass faith promoter (i.e., lie).

If it's a made up story, it was done with the names of real people.

They waited to print the story until the statute of limitations had run out.

They reedited the story to remove the abandonment part.

http://www.ldsliving.com/A-Grandpa-s-Perfect-Response-When-His-Grandson-Said-He-Wouldn-t-Report-to-the-MTC-the-Next-Day/s/85941

Wouldn't want any non-members to stumble across this and get the wrong impression of Mormons.

Call Child Protective Services!!

Gatorman

Mom's statement in the original:

" Our hearts were broken. We felt like failures as parents."

Yes, mom, it's all about you.
Not about your son, you.
Never mind your son's doubts, questions, feelings.
If he doesn't go on a mission, you're a failure, so you must force him to go on a mission.

Sheesh.

At least he didn't have to cut off his hand with a pocket knife. Hmm, maybe they should put that in the endowment ceremony.

Awful, awful, awful parents. If my parents did that to me, I would never speak to them again. The Hyatts are horrible failures as parents and as human beings.

Maybe okay as hyenas.

I would truly like to discuss this with those parents. But I'm afraid it would descend into a diatribe from me telling them what wortless POS they are and and not fit to be parents and how my beloved father did not judge me when I said no to a mission and how he was a much better human being than either of them....and on and on...Conditional love....how cultish.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2017 06:49PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

That brought back some bad memories for me. My father tried to place me in foster care. When that failed I was sent to a boy's ranch.

I hear ya.

After coming home early from my mission, my father approached me one night and said, "I think it would be best for the family if you were to leave."

That is barbaric!

How sad. I am sorry you experienced that. I don't understand parents that reject their children, especially over belief. I hope your life has gone well since.

Jaxson, I'm so sorry. You deserved far better than that. So much for a "family church."

So sorry, Jax. I know the feeling, and it's painful. You have my best wishes.

I committed a worse crime--I left my son at the mtc. He didn't come out and say he didn't want to go, but if I had listened carefully ...

I hope there's not a god because I don't know how He could forgive me for that.

When you know better, you do better. At least you left your son in a place where he would be fed and housed. Shame on those "parents" from Lacey, Washington.

Wow, I was all in the kid's corner until I read this -

“We have seen incredible growth within his emails and letters home."

WTF!!! The ONLY communication I would have with my folks after being abandoned would be one last two-word email that would begin with an "F" and end with a "You". What a little pu$$y.

No, you're actually thinking of delicate, easily crushed testicles that can't handle the pounding vaginas do.

Or we could skip the sexual insults and understand that this is exactly what a cult environment, emotional, spiritual, and mental abuse does to many people. Not everyone has the fortitude to say "F- you" to their family, even after being abandoned and emotionally destroyed.

Be glad you had the fortitude to say "no more", if that's what you did.

Again, I don't understand this type of behavior. My children have been awful to me. Sometimes just downright cruel and nasty. Many many times I wanted to leave them on the side of the road somewhere. At one point fairly recently I wanted to ask my son not to come over to the house anymore, because he was so ugly to me and my youngest child. BUT I DIDNT! I stuck it out with him because I'm his mom. He eventually confided in me is having some issues, so I got him counselor. I just needed to listen, and not take offense of what he was saying. It is some kind of PCH to lash out at people closest to you, because they are the safe zone. They aren't going anywhere. I realize it has nothing to do with Mormons, or mission, but as a parent, my job is to be there for him at all times. I hope this boy comes to realize the radical has against him, and I hate years to go on a different path with his own children, and not following the same footsteps because it's been so pounded into his brain that it was the right thing to do. Faith? Screw faith. Love your children.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2017 09:30PM by infinitelyme.

The kid should go on the same mission that tommy boy monson went on.

Ha ha, this afternoon there were 30 comments on the LDS Living website about this article--even after it had been edited--and now, viola, there are no more. "Closed for comment" and all the earlier posts deriding the article are GONE.

Some people can't handle the truth.

Wow, I completely misread the title when I first saw this float by on Facebook. I thought it was an accident, not that they left him there BECAUSE he didn't want to serve.

Gee, none of my sons have served a mission, the younger ones don't think they want to either. No big deal to me. The church lives to preach agency, only when agency serves in their favor

I could still read the negative comments by clicking the "Comments" link from the archived link in the OP. I can't, but someone should save it; LDS will buy or threaten the archive to be removed.


I think one of the most interesting aspects of this is LDS's tacit acknowledgement that these malleable youngsters are still subject to the effects of abuse and manipulation.

This "child" was technically an "adult," but if treated (and abused) like the dependent child he was, he was prone to yield to that abuse. No support, no prospects, no transportation, essentially set up to become homeless at 18 - "Go on a mission or go homeless."

POS parents, no internal morality whatsoever. Abandoning a kid to bears, for all they knew. Not zoo bears behind glass, but real-life rip the flesh from bone bears. Oh, and there's no reliably clean water source.

https://www.nps.gov/brca/planyourvisit/backcountryinfo.htm

LDS: "Use life-threatening measures to get your kid to the MTC. We'll take it from there. Sure, we lose the odd kid or two to death, but our overall percentages are low."

And if that kid had been killed, what "tragic" story would those parents have told? As we've been advised, "The [full, unvarnished] truth is not always useful."

Mom: "Our dear boy was leaving for the MTC to serve the Lord the very next day, so we wanted to give him a family day to celebrate, when tragically, we became separated."


How they love to toy with words. And minds. If the other kids had told the [full, unvarnished] truth, LDS gov to the rescue. LDS stories (essays) are made for editing out the nasty bits.

I'm posting this little fantasy for the benefit of young LDS readers. They have read those kinds of words many times, and should learn the full, unvarnished translations.


It's also a cautionary tale for LDS youngsters; yes, get that teen job, save your money, switch it to a fully "adult" account that your parents can't access at 18, and plan to put yourself through college, no matter what parents may "promise." No one can force you to put your life on hold and be an unpaid salesman for two years, especially, a group of old "religious" men living high on the hog of LDS.

BTW, salesmen are the most highly paid group of employees where I work, right behind the executives. If you want that job, you won't learn how to do it at the MTC.

The MTC has one ultimate goal: to finish turning you into a lifetime tithe payer. Your brain is the cherry, ripe for the picking. If you go, you'll notice that the (most painful) lessons are not about convert behavior, but about YOUR behavior. It's not training to close a sale, but a mind.

Nice deconstruction of the situation. Excellent points.

"Do exactly as I say and you won't get hurt."

Blackmail. Emotional blackmail.

The other children got the message. You con't mess with Mom. And don't expect Dad to help you. He's scared too. You are on your own. Best do exactly what she says if you want food to eat and a bed to sleep in.

"You will do what I say--or else!"

Yep.
Congratulations, mom.
You broke your kid.

You made it crystal clear to him that if he didn't do what you wanted, for your own selfish reasons, that you would abandon him. Figuratively and literally.

So the kid had a choice: have his family abandon him, or ignore his own thoughts, feelings, decisions, wants, and needs and do what YOU want.

The poor kid chose the latter. And the MTC indoctrination finished the job.
He'll probably never have an original thought or idea again, and will never challenge anyone so that they won't abandon him.

Yep, mom, you broke the poor kid.
Shame on you.

I was never a part of "that religion." I was always shocked by mormon behavior even as a mormon.

My disabled brother went on a mission. He went out feeling pretty good about himself. He had a great friend who was not disabled who had watched out for my brother back then (and still now and they are 52) and my brother didn't feel like he was disabled. He came home CHANGED. He's never been the same since. I had a 2-year-old son. At that point, I started telling my son he WOULD NOT BE SERVING A MISSION. He told me recently that when they would sing "I hope they call me on a mission" in primary, that he was so glad he knew he didn't have to go. My son could have never handled a mission.

These people make me sick. They don't deserve to have children.

Oh, like someone above, my kids sometimes treat me really poorly, especially my daughter. I will always be there for them no matter what.

That was me. No one can hurt ya u as bad as your children's ca... but no they are trying to express pain, and we mom's are the safe zone, or we should be

Our kids know we will always love them no matter what they do. And, yes, when I step back and think about things, I realize that there is a reason they are acting like they are.

Ha. Love the edited version.

"Thanks to Jason F. Wright for making us aware of this story. There are many angles to this story that have been reported. LDS Living has chosen to share the uplifting response of love and have posted the elder's story in his own words in the video below."

Kaydin Abdul Karim Alabbas was at a difficult place in his life. He was supposed to report to the MTC the next day, but he had no desire to serve a mission and had just announced to his family he had no intention to serve. In addition, he was stranded all by himself in the middle of nowhere, not knowing who to turn to.

"He was stranded all by himself in the middle of nowhere" No mention of how that happened.

"There are many angles to this story"

I just wanted to add the background that the idea of dumping off a kid that didn't want to serve is nothing new. The hardline Mormon approach has been around for a long time. Some members would brag about resorting to extreme measures to keep their families in line with the mandates of mormon prophets.

-Lock up food or block access to the kitchen/refrigerator on fast Sundays
-Turning off electricity to the house for reluctant people that refused to participate on FHE
-Dropping off teenagers for seminary in their flannel pajamas

I think the parents or guardians should have been charged with willful negligence for just leaving a person there in the desert.

I AM TRIGGERED

I posted a long reply in the comments section detailing how Mormon-taught "tough love" ruined my bond with my children. I'm sure they've taken it down by now, but it certainly falls into the category of "All things LDS"


Kathleen

Those of you who are curious:

Elder Alabbas completed his mission in a U.S. southern state. He made some good friends there, including one whose name he promises to give to his firstborn, so sometime in the future, you may meet a girl named Ryan Alabbas. Maybe he'll add an 'e' or an 'ie'?

His Twitter account totally disguises the idea that he's a mormon, but he's going to BYU-I... But he mentions being in a fraternity, and that doesn't sound like BYU-I.

And I saw a photo of his 'parents'...life is often confusing.

So there...

My nephew and his wife used to ignore th e fact that their teenage son was "on the spectrum." In spite of the fact that everyone knew he had Aspberger's, they denied it. I mean, he is brilliant and high-functioning, but has the usual problems--a complete lack of any kind of social cues, totally lacks empathy, will not bathe or change clothes, walks away in the middle of a sentence, fixates on things for months or even years, etc. When he turned 18, he just flatly and blithely said he wasn't going on a mission. His parents freaked out. Their one and only conclusion was that a boy who was raised in the church would have to be crazy to refuse a mission. So they took him to a psychologist, who informed them that the boy really had a solid case of Aspberger's. Mystery solved! His mother then wrote all about it on Facebook, telling everybody about the diagnosis, so they would know that the parents were not a fault because he refused his mission. Then she went on at length that her husband also probably has Aspberger's (he does), and that even his dad has it. It was very embarrassing and weird.