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Posted by: The Holiest of Molies ( )
Date: August 20, 2017 09:21PM

So I went. Getting the young feller away for a month was something that was all but impossible. I let my wife know I received that email, and all bets were off to keep him away this week. In some ways it was good to see this nonsense after haveing been away from anything "priesthood" related for years. In a way, the good thing about all this is that it is a catalyst for discussion about all things Morg. The underlying points I've emphasized are respect for others and yourself. Do not use people and that for emotional, health and pregnancy reasons, he needs to think about the ramifications of the subject. I recorded the hour all this transpired in the deacon's class.

Bishop Elmo starts the lesson by asking everyone to close their eyes and let him create an image in our minds about a Christmas morning. You are anxious for opening presents and when called down stairs, you run and leap down the stairs with excitement. Instead of being told to go to the living room where the tree is, your father stops you at the bottom of the stairs and takes you into the garage where there is a big present under a covering. You are intrigued and you are instructed to open the gift. You tear off the covering, pulling it from the top of a car and you see that it is a car. It is the most amazing car. It is the car of your dreams; it is anything you want it to be. He tells everyone to open their eyes. He asks each kid what kind of car they imagined was in the garage that they opened. He does around the room and the kids say what ever they think an awesome car is. After he gets the kids excited about the car, he then says the father hands the keys to you and says you will never drive the car; only your wife will ever drive the car. (Immediately my boy leans to me and says loudly enough so all can hear "I'd sell it"). Bishop Elmo then says that the girls have had the same experience with getting a car only the husband can drive.

One kid asked what if you never get married.

The Lesson continued where he tied it to sexual purity, other filler I've apparently blocked out and read a little from the strength of youth thing. And likened auto repair to repentance. Sounded like with maintenance it inherently needed repentance.

Some questions that did not get answered in the analogy:

Who drove the car into the garage?
So you get a 2017 model car and it just sits for 10 years before you give it to your wife, does anyone see a maintenance problem here?

Where is the car stored for the years before you give it away?

Who drives the car to its storage facility?

I walked out of there wishing my wife would be ok with me handing in the resignation. We had heated exchanges about that as we discussed my anger with the institution.

What an awful Sunday.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: August 20, 2017 09:30PM

There is something wrong with you.
You don't have enough chastity.

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Posted by: unbelievable2 ( )
Date: August 20, 2017 09:44PM

Forgive me but I'm confused. Bishop Elmo should be released.

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Posted by: Topper ( )
Date: August 20, 2017 09:50PM

They certainly know how to use sick psychology to deliberately twist the young minds around.

At least some of the kids saw the illogical reasoning.

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 01:08AM

If my wife crashes my car, does my insurance rate go up? How long will it have that "new car" smell? What if I don't fit in my wife's car?

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Posted by: janis ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 01:19AM

I'd respond to this, but I can't right now.

Fuck men and their fucking cars is the best I can do for now.

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Posted by: snowball ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 07:55AM

I am likewise confused by this analogy. But I think that's healthy.

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Posted by: dogzilla ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 07:56AM

What if you finally get to drive the car and realize, it's not only not your dream car at all, but it stalls in traffic, constantly breaks down, and drives like it's made of mashed potatoes?


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Posted by: The Holiest of Molies ( )
Date: August 22, 2017 10:05AM

I think his point I didn't articulate well was you are given this car or gift that you give to your spouse in mint condition. So it is your dream car you give away and your spouse does the same for you. So your dream car is probably not your would be spouse's dream car and you cannot see it, talk about it, examine it, take it to a mechanic, think about it, touch it until after you are married....or return it.

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Posted by: The Holiest of Molies ( )
Date: September 13, 2017 01:21PM

The "thred" is about messing with the youth.

Another thing about this was there was a new, in the box Hot Wheels car given to each of the kids. A sticker was affixed which read, "I will give this car to my wife in mint condition." And there was a place to sign and date it.

My son had the sticker removed before we were out of the parking lot and it was opened and he gave it to a younger sibling before we pulled into the drive way.

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Posted by: eternal1 ( )
Date: September 13, 2017 01:37PM

You have a smart son.

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Posted by: dogzilla ( )
Date: September 14, 2017 10:34AM

No, I understood his point.

My point was, if you've never explored your sexuality and your shiny new spouse has never explored their sexuality, there is no way to know what you really want or like in a "car." I've read far too many stories on this board about newlyweds who were so excited to finally get to do It, only to find they were sexually incompatible and had no vocabulary or comfort level to verbalize and work through the problems. One of the worst things the cult does is suppress everyone's normal sexual development.

Those of you who married as virgins and found out everything was great are like gold-plated unicorns -- literally got lucky.

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Posted by: jane ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 11:58AM

Gawd put us on earth so that we could only drive someone else's dream car? What about my dream car? Why can't I drive what *I* want?

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 12:13PM

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Posted by: The Holiest of Molies ( )
Date: August 22, 2017 10:21PM

The law of 'chafftity'.

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Posted by: pollythinks ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 12:36PM

Posted by: caffiend, "Chaste makes waste."


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Posted by: axeldc ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 12:36PM

At least he didn't compare them to chewed gum or licked cupcakes.

Why is that you can do all sorts of things to your body, but if you have sex once, it fundamentally changes you?

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Posted by: jane ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 02:23PM

It's the one act there is no forgiveness for. Forgiveness makes the "sinner" whole. If you can't unlick a cupcake, then there is no forgiveness.

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Posted by: dogzilla ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 03:02PM

Which makes me wonder... what was the point of the atonement then?

If Jesus died to atone for our sins, ALL our sins, not just the cherry-picked ones, then why is sex unforgiveable?

For that matter, why do we have to repent of any sins at all? Didn't Jesus already take care of that, and atoned for everything for all of us already?

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 03:32PM

axeldc Wrote:
> At least he didn't compare them to chewed gum or
> licked cupcakes.

That's for the women.
This was for the oh-so-superior "priesthood holders."


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Posted by: T ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 09:17PM

Or a nailed board. Wait. Also for women. But Jesus is the putty that makes it better. But you still got nailed. Wait. So did Jesus. So confusing.

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Posted by: Villager ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 03:42PM

I think this is a person trying to remake what we were whispering back and forth in the 1970's and 80's.

Porches are still around and are cool to have.
Chevettes were a piece of crap cars which aren't even made anymore.

And it still holds true to this day,a Porche is much better to have in your garage than a Chevette.

Licked or unlicked.

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 03:58PM

What if the car looks like a Shelby Cobra on the outside but has a wimpy little 4 banger engine under the hood?

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 04:47PM

Is the Mormon dream car a mini van that seats a dozen kids?

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Posted by: Thinman ( )
Date: August 21, 2017 09:15PM

I must be dense; the analogy makes no sense to me. Was the car made in the little factory?

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: August 22, 2017 11:44PM

¿ wut is this thred about ? ~

( srs ) ~

can confirm ~

am confuse ~

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Posted by: Breeze ( )
Date: September 13, 2017 01:51PM

Can you drive a rental in the meantime?
Hitch a ride in a friend's car?
Call Uber?

This is no analogy.

"Sell it!" Your son (and all those other kids)too smart for Mormonism.

Thanks for the report on the on-going stupidity of the Mormon cult

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: September 13, 2017 01:53PM

I'd like to see Bishop Elmo do an analogy about your dad teaching your future wife how to drive that dream car.

I'm sure there are certain "niche" videos about that........

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Posted by: dp ( )
Date: September 14, 2017 01:01AM

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Posted by: druid ( )
Date: September 14, 2017 11:11PM

So,taking the neighbors car for a spin is right out? I suppose carpooling is wrong also. In god's eye, is there a difference between abusing a company car and driving a rental real hard? I am so confused.

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Posted by: baura ( )
Date: September 15, 2017 01:36AM

Mormons are addicted to inane analogys and metaphors.

I think it became official that they'd "jumped the shark" with
analogys/metaphors when Bednar gave his pickle talk.

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