Hi I got pulled into the missionaries by hearing my abusive family saying that Mormons only spread their lies around and will live on planets, so I went on Mormon.org and asked for the missionaries number! I am now meeting with them and getting pressured to go to church and be baptized! I do not want to be baptized! How do I tell them I just had a question and that is it,

This was moved from the exit stories forum.

You say exactly that. "Stop pressuring me. I only had a question, that's all. I do not want to be baptized."

I don't quite understand why people seem to have this fear of offending the missionaries, like they have some sort of unique power or something.

I just had a question. I don't want To be baptized. Have a great day and don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Ok you can leave out that last part.
If they come back simply repeat.

I found it really crazy that these missionaries believe that people have to give up their beliefs for theirs.
I was invited once by a friend to witness one of their baptisms and the bishop told me that i can get changed and be baptized. I told him I was not interested and I was not looking to join his church.

Holy hell seriously? That's pretty bold but i am not surprised.

I almost got pressured into renters insurance today but i looked around my place and said nobody is going to steal this and that was the end of that. I like saying not right now but maybe another time and then they try to battle for a lower rate and i say again not right now maybe another time.

"I am not interested in any further contact. Take me off any contact lists the LDS keeps."

See, this is why Mormonism is a cult. They just do not let go.

You may have to become more assertive. Something like, "All the pressure you're putting on me only makes me dislike and distrust you and your church. If it comes to the point that I actually hate your church, it will be your fault."

Or, if you feel brave, drop an F-bomb or two. F-bombs are Mormon kryptonite.

Yep f-bombs work but what works the best is this phrase "health in the navel, marrow in the bones, strength in the loins and in the sinews..." you may not even say the rest this. This repels mormons better than anything i have tried.

Unfortunately you are dealing with teenagers under extreme duress to perform. Like a starving dog latches onto the merest of scraps the missionaries try to wear people down to be baptised.

You can try just asking them to leave.

Otherwise, just ignore them. Refuse to make an appointment. Refuse to answer the door. Block their number.

Then hit them where it hurtd. Tell them if they do not leave you alone you will file a police report for harrassment as well as sueing them personally.

As for your question

Mormons believe that mortal man can progress through an undefined means to be gods. To spawn spirit children. To create and populate worlds without end.

So a mere planet? No. A universe of endless planets.

Oh yeah, boundaries. Mormons don't even know what they are. You have to be the one to say "fuck off".

They're the ones stuck in Stockholm syndrome with their abusers, not you.

A proper church wouldn't do this. That's why Mormons and Witnesses, etc., aren't proper churches. Don't give in. They are actually abusing you. They are also lying to you, although many of the young boys and girls don't know this. The normal scenario is, they day they have their first meeting with you, they work out a date 3 weeks in advance, and tell you, "Heavenly Father would like to see you enter the waters of baptism on ..." That's because they normally have a 3-week window in which to teach you, then they are supposed to push you to a back burner. But today's boy and girl missionaries have very little to do, and likely will just keep persisting and pestering. But back to my premise: A proper church would not resort to recruitment, and would not lie to you.

They are all correct.

You must say "NO" to whatever they ask of you next.

They will keep pushing, and setting another appointment.

"You've explained your reasoning. I'm not interested. Please move on and don't come back."

Don't try to explain or apologize. There's no need and it will only prolong their departure.

You have to be firm and curt with extreme fanatical salespeople.

Plus, keep in mind that you do NOT need to respond to their phone calls, texts, or even when they knock on the door. Tell them you are no longer interested and be done with it. Block their phone number and don't open your door. There is no law that says you have to open your door to strangers! In fact it is unwise to do so.

However, if they offer you a vacuum cleaner, I'd say go with it. Door-to-door vacuum cleaner sales are highly preferable over Mormon church recruitment. If you got a good upright vacuum with 3-step filtration system when joining the LDS church, it might help defray or mitigate some of the later feelings of disappointment and foolishness. "...But it was a good vacuum cleaner, though" you would say to yourself. "Gotta give 'em that, at least."

I know. I did my 2-year stint as a missionary, and I was pretty successful. I have the gift of gab, and sold a lot of salvation to people. Some of my "converts" stayed to the bitter end, and were lowered into the ground by other Mormons. Thinking back, however, it now represents a low period in my life. I annoyed and lied to people.

I was never on a mission but after I joined I did go out with the mishies several times. I talked with the "investigators" about anything else but not TSCC. All were baptized. Indeed, one even insisted I do the baptism. Being friendly was the key, not doctrine or testimonies.

Hi crazyhorse. I was abused, too, and had a hard time standing up for myself. Over the many, many years since I got away from the abuse, I've realized that I was never a whimp. I could stand up for anyone, except myself.

All those years of childhood abuse had conditioned me to accept that if I ever stood up for myself, I would lose. And, that made sense for a child much smaller than the abuser, but the consequences for that abused child who is now an adult had to be dealt with.

Here's a mental trick you can use to help train yourself to stand up for yourself.

What if cult members were trying to scam someone you loved, and wouldn't back off?

What would you say to the cult members? How would you VERBALLY defend your kid brother or sister?


For me, having grown up around verbal (and other) abuse, I had no shortage of strong words when it came time to defend those I loved. For a time, I pretended (in my head) that I was one of those I loved and would defend.

Pretend a bit. Pretend that crazyhorse is your kid brother or sister:

"Crazyhorse said NO, so get the eff out of here and don't come back. Effin Joe Smith was a wife-stealing child rapist you're too stupid to read about, and I don't want pedophile worshippers anywhere near crazyhorse. If you come back or call again, I'm reporting your harassment to the cops."

You can do this. You can.

There's something I'd ask you to keep in mind. Always stay within the boundaries of the law. I totally get that you have no trust or belief in anything that your abusers said, but if they told you to never break the law (even though they were breaking the laws themselves), you should understand for yourself that you don't HAVE to "test" your own common sense.

Just the fact that your abusers knew that LDS is a cult tells me that like most abusers, they mixed truth with lies, making it extremely difficult for an abused kid to learn the difference.

This does not mean that your abusers were "good" people to you. It means that they also had tiny bits of good in them, that sometimes escaped, by accident. Any escaped bits of "good" likely did not escape to benefit you, but themselves. If a cult "got" you, they could no longer "own" you - the cult would "own" you.

In this case, they told you that LDS was "bad," because they could recognize their own kind.

Fake it 'til you make it, crazyhorse. Use everything in you to defend the "kid" brother or sister you carry within yourself. Love that person.

My best to you in your healing journey.

I actually did this exercise in counseling today imagining i was talking to my younger self. I told my younger self to get away from the family and the church at all costs, go to child protective services, go to the police after the abuse. Get away before it gets worse. It was an interesting exercise to say the least. But it was nuts because i remember certain events like it was yesterday as if i got frozen that day or died that day.

>>"But it was nuts because i remember certain events like it was yesterday as if i got frozen that day or died that day."


That's called a flashback. It can feel like it's happening in the present. A person can relive certain painful and/or traumatic events from the past, trying to process the emotional fallout.

It really is a step toward health. It's very hard to go through, but it's your brain's gift to help uncover the rage, deal with it instead of carrying it around like a nuclear weapon on a hair trigger.

Some of the flashbacks I had involved sexual abuse, and I really didn't know how much hate, fear and loathing I had been lugging into every relationship, each new day. Everyday was the same, most of the time numb without knowing it, because I wasn't ready to face the past.

When the flashbacks started, I wanted to die or kill. The memories so real, as if they were happening right now, the pain tearing at me, the body remembers. I lost three months one time, meaning, it was June, then when I became self-aware again, it was August. Pretty scary stuff, but that was the worst it got. After that the "lost time" kept getting smaller. It's never gotten that bad again.

I felt totally nuts, out of control, and I hated it. I look back on it now like - well, like "it" (my brain, my flashbacks, my triggers) was doing me a favor it was too early for me to appreciate. I felt like a raw wound walking around, where the slightest breeze could make me bleed, and I'm a fighter. (Flight fight or freeze, our body makes the choice and we don't get to "pick.")

But going through it is the only way to get rid of it. It seemed insurmountable, like there was too much there to deal with, and I just wanted to run from it, but running was no longer possible.

Remember how I keep telling you to find safe places to deal with it? The truth is, that mall stalking bit scared me for you, and for the stranger. I'll not lie to you badass, that was not safe for either of you. What if he had noticed, and started preaching at you? I don't even want to think about it. You were way triggered, and had written some things that made me think that given the wrong circumstances, you might hurt yourself or someone else. I know how powerful triggers and flashbacks can be. You could be sitting in jail at this very moment, and I'm not kidding. No cards, no phone, no RfM trolls, no freedom.

You MUST remember to be safe.

NO stalking, on foot, in car, or anywhere else. It's not healthy or safe. It's risky behavior, and honestly, I would put it in the "self-harm" category.

End of lecture.

Think of a flashback as an opportunity for you to accept the reality of the trauma you suffered, and re-create a new ending as a survivor. If you're in the mall when it happens, get yourself to your truck or a bathroom, and stay there (don't drive) until you feel ready to face the world without a fight.

What you have to remember during a flashback is that YOU SURVIVED the original trauma, and though the memory is hard and painful, it CANNOT HARM YOU NOW.

If a real-life suit or RfM troll triggers you, remember there's a bad memory behind the anger, just waiting to free you of the pain. You can learn to embrace the triggers as clues to your past, so you can remember it and clear your brain of the awful things that were wrongfully, likely criminally, done to you.

I won't tell you that you should ignore either the suits or the trolls, but to use them to your benefit, if they trigger you. If triggered, get a real pen and paper, and start writing. Write whatever comes to mind, no matter how odd the writing may be. Write until you remember. Write until you feel spent. Don't worry about spelling or how it sounds. Just keep writing.

I gotta sleep now. But put a notebook and pen in your truck, so you can write if needed. It's not the same as typing and/or posting.

Take gentle care of you, badass, suits and trolls be damned.

After arguing at length why I should hear their schpeel, I said, "I know more about JWs than most people do." They toddled off real fast.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2017 02:45AM by kathleen.

I know more about the church than you do. That's why I'm an apostate. Have a nice day somewhere else. Goodbye.

I quit playing nice years ago, and they haven't darkened my door for a very long time.

Many people in your future will attempt to make you feel guilty for denying their requests. The Mormons try very hard to be especially good at this. Their specialty is to make you doubt your own decision. They try to make YOU feel THEIR failure as they are unable to persuade you to their ways. More commonly known as the guilt trip, this works on many. Don't be one.

Think of this as good practice to learn that a simple
"No" is the number one way you "claim yourself" every time you use it. Think of saying No to the missionaries as great practice for handling those types of situations for the rest of your life.

A no does not need to be justified or explained. When they ask for those things it is just a way to continue the guilt trip. Their church is not for you. No need to feel like you have to explain. It's all a simple thing and complicating it is in their interest, not yours.

"No" is a cake that needs no frosting.

"I called you on a bet. A friend told me that once I met with Mormon missionaries I could never get them to stop coming even if I admit it was just a dare. Seems my friend has won the bet. Now scram!"

That's what I'd say if I were in your shoes.

I was abused as well and im telling you if you dont stand strong and tell them to back off now they will never quit. Just because you were abused doesnt mean you have to roll over to what they want, the church will only make an abuse victim worse psychologically and feel completely trapped not knowing how to break off without constant guilt and relentless pressure to always come back. And they will probably never give you a straight answer to your question.

I would be interested in OP's initial question to the missionaries.

You'd probably get more honest answers to it on this site without pressure to get baptized--or do anything else you don't want to.

Isn't it interesting that the church would want you to make the most important decision of your life on the first or second exposure to it? That in itself should tell you what it is most interested in.

I'd be very polite to them and ask them to describe the 2nd Anointing.

..... And! per Grant Palmer, there are two above that!! You get Godhood, and then you max out at Godhead! Who wouldn't wanna progress to that??? ....... unless ...... women can't .... or those damn children of SS couples can't.

Watch 'me get transferred, and you'll disappear off the list!

Simple...just ask them why Joseph Smith was a pedophile, adulterer, and murder. You read about it on mormon . org

I don't like real estate agents.

(Apologies to real estates.)

Why? Because despite all the emotional feel-good talk of charming little houses and fixer-uppers with potential and "We're here to help you."....the bottom line is they MONEY and they want to CLOSE DEALS.

Missionaries are brainwashed to do the same thing.

Everyone wants to " close deals". Don't single out real estate agents and compare them to Mormon missionaries. Did we have a bad experience?

Tell them you were already baptized in your old church and if that's not good enough for their church, then you can't join it. Sorry.

They won't take you without a baptism in their church.

(this thread goes back to August, and crazyhorse has never come back)

Yeah, one of those hit-and-run types.

"Please respect my wishes. Don't bother me again." Hang up the phone or close the door. Do this as often as needed.

Do not expect them to understand or be supportive. It won't happen. Just keep closing the door or hanging up the phone. If they won't leave you alone, complain to the bishop and to the police.

You're an adult, right?

If you don't want to be baptised, don't get baptised. Just say no

thanks, you don't owe any one an explaination. Don't make it a

bigger deal than it is.

To be baptized a Mormon you must believe that 1) Joseph Smith was a prophet of God 2) The Book of Mormon is divine scripture inspired by God 3) The current president of the Mormon church is a prophet of God. There are other things you are expected to promise to do and not do but an eager missionary might leave those things out.

So all you need to do is say: "I KNOW Joseph Smith was not a prophet. I KNOW the Book of Mormon is fiction. I KNOW the president of your church does not speak to God. I KNOW you cannot baptize me unless I say I believe those things. And I will NOT pray endlessly so as to delude myself into thinking that those lies are truth. So go away and leave me alone."

If they still come back you can always not answer the door and not answer their phone calls and texts.

Now you know how relentlessly the Mormon cult coerces people to be baptized. Be glad you aren't a little 8-year-old child. The Mormons always use the same words in the baptism announcements: Little Kid Jones has CHOSEN to be baptized...." Yeah, right.

You can try to be polite, but you will end up feeling very rude and uncomfortable, because Mormons never take a hint. They never take "no" for an answer. Often, extreme threats of calling the police and filing a restraining order and reporting them for trespassing or threatening to sue them for harassment, or even dousing them with the garden hose, are the only things that will drive the Mormons away.

Don't bother being polite. Never explain or make excuses, because that just opens the door for debate. You don't want to argue with Mormons, because they don't think clearly. They don't play fair.

You will need to say "No" with no explanation. Not, "No, thank you." Not, "Maybe some other time." Just. Plain. No.

You will have to repeat the word "NO" to each Mormon, about 30-40 times.

Be patient. Be firm.

Be proud! Most of us couldn't say "no", for many years, and we have suffered, as a result. You don't want the Mormon cult in your life.

What question did you ask them? Did they answer it? If you don't want to be baptized then don't get baptized.

That you had a QUESTION and that sit!