I did not have a crisis of faith! I had what I call an overwhelming enlightenment. Not in the sense of spiritual enlightenment or any other metaphysical experience. Over the course of a few months, while reading many non-sanctioned books to get answers, I broke out of the Mormon bubble and saw the church for what it really is - a very sophisticated and spin-driven cult. And now as I look back I cannot understand why I ever believed it. So I now ask the question: Why do people in and out of the church call this a crisis of faith?

They feel the crisis, not the doubter.

Those in control had to make "doubting" sound like one foot is in the adversary's court. They had to give it a scary name.

And I agree with both of you. Their "crisis of faith" is actually enlightenment, and terrifying to them.

It's not a "crisis of faith". It's a crisis of reason.

Asking questions and not being afraid of the answers, is what it is... Waking up your brain and opening up your life. Scary shit!!!

Because in our minds EVERYTHING we believed, in faith, was found to be fake, false, not real, made up fiction.

Our fearless leader, JS, was a sexual pervert/ deviate, pedophile, polygamist, liar, con man, plagarist, do I need to go on? Not even a wanker! Didn't need to with his personal harem.

We sang 'Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah....'like he is wonderful?

THIS is the crisis of faith... finding out everything we believed in is a cult religion, the history of the church, the tithing crisis, ........

We have nothing to believe in anymore. That is the crisis. We are alone, sometimes abandoned, alienated by family and friends, no longer associating with TBM's for fear of spreading our vitriol of disaffection.

I agree with this one

I see what cutekitty is saying and I agree in that sense. What I don't like is having the phrase applied to me by members thinking that I am a lost soul who has been deceived by those who are against the church. I lost my faith because I discovered that I had been deceived all my life by the supposedly "one true church." I asked my TBM wife just yesterday if she thought I had been deceived and she unequivocally said yes. It's not an issue. We agree to disagree.

I see what you are saying, it definitely seems like an easier road to stay in but long-term i think we will be better off, when a professional counselor is helping you to become a normal person you know you were deep in a cult.

Awakened, not "offended"...

I was offended.
Offended that I had been lied to by people I trusted to provide truth.

I am offended but it feels more like betrayel.

I was always approached when i was in church that i had conviction. I did in god alone at that time but not much else. Its almost as if none of them were actually true believers of their religion at the core. And after seeing the temple nonsense i know why

It's like people in a mental hospital, wearing straight jackets, raving about how crazy you are.

The TBMs I used to know are convinced I'm going to hell. Well, they're convinced of golden plates too.

Yes this is exactly how it is. You could transport a lot of them to a mental hospital without much effort and they would fit right in next to the man that thinks he saw jesus too.

"It's like people in a mental hospital, wearing straight jackets, raving about how crazy you are."

I agree that this is an unfair label that the Mormons have pasted onto those who leave the cult.

Discovering that Mormonism is a fraud cult is NOT a "crisis"--at least it wasn't for me. Tom Padley called it an "enlightenment", and that describes it better. For me, it was a growing and learning experience, and a transition from the darkness of lies to the light of Truth. I was quite euphoric to find answers to my questions--at last! It doesn't bother me to not know all the answers--I would rather live with ambiguity than with lies! The lies are only to manipulate us out of our money (and slave labor).

"Crisis of Faith" is just another, more recent, manipulative lie.

This label implies that there is something wrong with us, because we ask questions, and follow the Truth.

It implies that the questioner is suffering. My suffering and my children's suffering already occurred when we were faithful TBM's inside the cult. Leaving was a joy! Freedom!

"Crisis" implies a temporary insanity. The Mormons are taught that soon the crazy person will come to their senses, and go back to "normal." My change was permanent, and I would never go back to the cult. You can't unlearn something; you can't un-ring a bell. In the last 10 years, I have grown, and had experiences way beyond Mormonism.

The only thing that can be called a "crisis" is they way the Mormons make such a BIG DEAL out of someone leaving their cult. They create the crisis, not us. It should not be any more of a "crisis" than changing the colors in your home, or switching political candidates, or being promoted to a new job. Change is a normal part of the human growth process, and to become hysterical and threaten others and make them afraid of change is abusive. Authority figures try to prevent growth in others, in order to retain power over them.

It's just yet another Mormon manipulative technique. Mormons play dirty.

I refuse to use this phrase! There is no such thing as a "crisis of faith."

It's more like a "crisis of identity". You find out your whole world is a lie, and then what? You don't even know who you are.

I agree with this

It's not unlike "losing ones testimony."

No one "loses" anything. They GAIN enlightenment. But to say someone may lose something if they're not careful keeps people in line.

Faith is all they have left. In this climate of fact and knowledge, Faith is their last ditch attempt to hang onto their reward of being the winners---those who get to the CK and get to say "See, I told you so. Daddy likes me best," to everyone else. Sadly, that is important to them.

What I have noticed at RFM as people have their "enlightenments" and move past the Mormon church, they also begin to feel more empathy and understanding and embrace reciprocity as a goal rather than "winner takes it all."

Make no mistake, "Crisis of Faith," is a put-down. When used against you it is the P.C. version of, "I am stronger and better than you." Period.

It's a "crisis" for the leaders because to them, it's a potential loss of money.

Hahaha yes we have a real winner for a crisis.

For many people, especially those in good marriages where one partner is a very entrenched TBM, it is genuinely a crisis. Here are the first two definitions that come up when I google the definition of "crisis:"

1) a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger.

2) a time when a difficult or important decision must be made.

For others, as it was with me, it felt like no crisis, more, as you say, an exciting period of enlightenment, a feeling of freedom, or a huge sense of relief.

It is such an individual thing. And one thing that has always bothered me on this board (that I have frequented for 16 years) is that we sometimes fail to realize that just because it worked one way for us does NOT mean that leaving the faith is a one size fits all experience. It's ok for us to share our experiences and our insights. But criticizing others for having to tread a different path, stay connected for family reasons, or discounting their sense of crisis defeats the purpose of being here to help others through the process.

If TBM's used the term "Discovery of Truth" instead, it would blow some brain circuits....

True. That's closer but yeah, brains would explode. It's really not a faith crisis, it's a fact crisis. Facts are the opposite of faith.

I pretty much agree with everyone's comments above mine. However, I will admit that it felt like a crisis when I began to learn the inconvenient facts about Joseph Smith and the church. I guess that's why I studied and prayed so hard and came to a conclusion in less than a week that the church was not true. Even then, it tore me apart to resign from the church because I am a very empathetic person and knew what all the believers would think of me. Ultimately, as others have already mentioned, it was an enlightening and liberating experience. And it turned out that what others thought about me didn't really affect me.

What irks me about the terms "crisis of faith," "losing my testimony," "falling away," "apostatizing," etc., is that they generalize an experience that was specific to me. All of us may have parts of our experience of learning the truth about the church in common, but ultimately it was personal to each of us. No label can capture the full essence of what we went through.

Humans aren't having a "crisis of faith"....faith is having a "crisis of humans".

It feels like a crisis when you acknowledge your first doubt. Later you realize that you rescued yourself.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,987121,987121#msg-987121

The crisis is a knowledge crisis not a faith crisis. You can't unknow that it is a proven fraud, facts are facts. Pesky as they may be to abusive and exploitive institutions. That is why so much energy has been put into ignoring facts and shaming those that are open to truth. Thus the misnomer faith crisis, if you remain loyal to the false narrative after knowledge. You have a knowledge crisis. If you embrace truth after pursuing knowledge, you have life, both messy and sweet as it is.

Crisis is temporary insanity? Yes mam!

It may not go away.

I am insane from NOT being able to talk to my TBM friends I hung out with. Insane from living a lie for 40 years!

Can't really say I am happier now versus 5 months ago when I knew nothing, and did not go looking for anything...My life is empty with no friends.

ME TOO. Its like one side of my brain is battling the other side. The fantasy or the truth and logic. Some people like the lie because it is comfortable and i do see why.

The longer you are out, the less insane you will feel. Right now I have no friends to talk with other than my son. And I've been out several years and retired. But my brain is functioning like nature intended. What a great feeling.

This is true i have been out a year and you are absolutely correct. Dont know the science behind it though but it just happens.

My so called "faith crisis" was my path to growth and a whole new set of friends. I did things I had never done before like play in a band and play in night clubs. My wife hated me doing it but I needed to find a new life and friends. I also got involved in political activities and made a few more friends. My life is a lot more interesting and fun now.

A whole new set of friends??? Can't really see that happening.

How am I gonna find people who have known me my whole life? These folks were my inner circle of people to do things fun with, talk to, hang out with...

How do you stay off the dam computer for long enough to do something new? I am glued to this thing as soon as I hit the door and am in for the night. Hours go by reading here and there of all LDS things I've been needing to know...and didn't know it.

I am insane. Yes sir. Anger is coming out in cuss words, shocking people around me. Why they've never heard me talk like that? I cuss at trains stopped on the tracks.
All I need is a paper to say I am clinically insane and I am good to go...

cutekitty Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A whole new set of friends??? Can't really see
> that happening.
>
> How am I gonna find people who have known me my
> whole life? These folks were my inner circle of
> people to do things fun with, talk to, hang out
> with...
>
> How do you stay off the dam computer for long
> enough to do something new? I am glued to this
> thing as soon as I hit the door and am in for the
> night. Hours go by reading here and there of all
> LDS things I've been needing to know...and didn't
> know it.
>
> I am insane. Yes sir. Anger is coming out in cuss
> words, shocking people around me. Why they've
> never heard me talk like that? I cuss at trains
> stopped on the tracks.
> All I need is a paper to say I am clinically
> insane and I am good to go...


It's hard to reply to this, but as the OP I think I need to try. When I first started discovering hidden facts I was as angry as you are. Insane? I very much doubt that you are. Your emotions probably make you feel insane. I certainly did. My "enlightenment" and subsequent resignation took a real toll on me. Six months after my resignation I landed in the hospital with nearly fatal high blood pressure. My doctor had to put me on a lot of heavy medication, mostly to control my intense anxiety which was causing my blood pressure to skyrocket. I attribute this life threatening experience to not only my anxiety disorder, but to having my life changed dramatically by this enlightenment about the church. I'm fine now after several years. I still take medication for both blood pressure and my life-long anxiety disorder but all-in-all I'm glad I can see the church for what it is - a complete fraud.

Hang in with the folks here. For the most part they are a good resource. Occasionally you'll get a pest but just ignore that person. Good luck to you!

cutekitty Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> All I need is a paper to say I am clinically
> insane and I am good to go...


Spoiler Alert: you won't get one of them, you only get a paper that says you are much better now and able to be discharged. My uncle used to say he was NOT mad and had a certificate to prove it (implying hospital discharge letter).


Don't be so down on yourself while you are staying in and reading online - sometimes we need this time for ourselves, I believe the armed forces call it retreat and regroup. When you feel strong enough to face people and entertain small talk about the weather (not climate, just local weather), perhaps you can join a book club or take a course or even just a tester for a creative class.

Admittedly, the ignorance displayed by people you thought were your dearest and closest does meet the very definition of betrayal and this hurts. However, once you accept they were only fair-weather friends (and family too, perhaps? that really is difficult to accept) - the 'fair weather' being your membership of their cult - the anger will begin to dissipate, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly depending on the person. I took a long time trying to make my family listen but found out why it was so difficult by reading here and there online, refreshing my knowledge on some topics and learning completely new ones, which I often bore people about.

Call this time your research time as though you are reading for a thesis. It may help you justify to yourself your perceived inactivity: you are learning and growing like you never have before in your life and this uses a lot of energy. When you graduate this subject (feel more sure of your 'apostasy') you will like yourself a whole lot more than you ever did when your 'mormon brain' was in control.

Crisis of faith v. moment of truth.

Mine wasn't a crisis of faith either.

My faith is still very much intact, I'm happy to say.

If anything it has coalesced into something more substantive than what I'd known before as a Mormon.

My spiritual walk is just that: a faith journey.

I think it's a proper phrase in the proper context. If you are still trying to have faith in a religion but start to doubt due to evidences against it, then the person really is having a crisis of faith. However, if you no longer are trying to have "faith" in the religion it is no longer a crisis of faith.

I felt like I had a crisis of faith for about two years while I struggled to believe in the Mormon church after studying the troubling history. After two years of study, I no longer believed and my "crisis of faith" was over because I confidently believed the religion was false. I no longer tried to have faith in it, so I was no longer in crisis mode at that time.