Now thats funny. Apparently everybody knows the meaning to life except the badass. So keep doing your chanting and keep doing whatever exmos do and leave me the f#ck alone. My counselor says i am improving so i am f#cking improving and i will take the professional advice over a nobody any day. And i kind of like being a dick lord knows nothing else worked for me in life.

And i talk way worse to my counselors then i do on here.

Once you're well-grounded in your own decisions and life, and confident in your ability to take care of your own well-being, you'll care less about what other people think of you.

Mormons are especially indoctrinated to think they know exactly how you (or anyone else) should live, but it's not a trait that's exclusive to mormons. Look forward to the day when, if somebody tells you "you're living wrong, you should do...", you can simply say to yourself, "I don't give a f*ck what you think," and move on. It's very freeing :)

B-A-Adam Don't leave this site!!!
You have the capability of being an inspiration to many others in a similar situation to yours

Yeah, badass. The least you can do is check on me once in a while?
I have been to the brink of losing my sanity learning I have been living a big fat LIE. You have helped me a lot here, you badass.

I have no idea what i am doing desertman i really don't. This is definitely a road i have never been on, all i know is i have to keep getting better or i probably wont survive in this world. When i get triggered it is just bad news and i am not sure what to do about it. All i do is listen to sir david the bard videos every night and vent on this site and try to get of pain while mormons try to battle me in the meantime. I dont really want to battle but i will if i have to, all i did in life was try to stay out of everyone's way while they did their weird religios shit i didnt agree with but now i am forced to face it all head on and stand against it and it is very uncomfortable and makes me very angry. I dont want to obsess about destroying the church cause i don't think that helps me. I just dont know what i am doing desertman but i do think i am getting better slowly maybe. I am afraid of getting triggered and doing something i regret i don't want ro get locked up right now. I really do have to become a totally solid and healthy individual if i am to help anybody. I am literally becoming something i have never been before. We did have some good times though desertman going to kolob in a kayak or a canoe, that was pretty fun.

I'm confused, baa, who are you addressing?

Never mind, I read it again. Senior moment there!

I dont know maybe everyone is right maybe i am misguided. But all i know i was miserable doing what everyone else was doing.

Hey Adam I wish things were easier for you and I wish there was more I could do for you but I just wanted to let you know your not alone I haven't really enjoyed life all that much either in fact JUST today I found out if it weren't for the damn cult I would have never been born my mom told me she and my dad would never have met had it not been for the fucking cult. Sucks cause I would have honestly rather not been born if giving the choice. Not everyone gets a princess/prince fairytale life and probably the number one thing that bugged me the most in Mormonism is how they would give beautiful inspiring talks in church about how important it is to help "bear one anothers burdens" and then the minute you told them you were in pain they accused you of "choosing" not to be happy when there worst problem is "I lost my keys" or "I got dumped ONCE" but now ive found a much better partner and I'm so happy!

Its extremely hypocritical and if they don't ACTUALLY want to help bear others burdens then that's fine but they really do need to shut the hell up about how "kind they are" and how they "help comfort people who are sad" or brag about how they "are kind to people who are disabled or different" because a lot of the time THERE NOT. Ironically most of the time non mormons have been alot more compassioate and accepting of me. While the mormons act like there better than me. I was talking about how I was feeling suicidal once when I was a teenager and my super tbm bro and sis in law went on about how evil I was for thinking that way and how if I killed myself God would punish me. Geez like having to feel like killing myself isn't punishment enough good hell! And while I think its important to try to find happiness in any situation that doesn't mean every human being is just going to be happy happy HAPPY :) 24/7 and Its really unhealthy to tell people its there own fault if there not. Why do we even have the ability to cry even if were not allowed to ever feel sad?

I have one tbm friend who told me just as long as a person has the gospel in there life (uh ya about that) they can always be "happy" and if there not they are just sinning and choosing not to be happy yet the worst thing that ever happened to her is her computer crashed oh how hard honey! Plus have they ever BEEN in EVERYONES situation in life? How the HELL do they know the "gospel" can make you happy if you don't swear or spank the monkey? VERY CLUELESS I hate it when the gas tell there damn faith promoting stories about disabled people or people in pain about how they "never complained" so its better for someone in terrible mental or physical pain to keep it to themselves and possibly eventually kill themselves really?!

Its sickening I have however been really lucky in the fact in the last few years ive met some really great friends and I am so glad to hear you have met some good people as well! That makes me really happy you seem like a great person adam and you dont deserve to be an outcast im so sorry youve had to go through that shit! Good friends really do help make life more bearable. I have been reading your posts and it sounds like you have been through similar things as me in life and I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry I care about you and your not alone. And I truely wish you the best!

Thanks i like when you post. I told my mom that she should've had an abortion the other day when we were arguing about her helping me with my bills and she gave me an attitude about it and i just said well you should've had an abortion if i am really that big of a burden to you and the family. I am so tired of this money guilt thing, the church should pay me a shitload for all the indoctrination and bullshit and abuse i went through as a child so i can recover without stress. My whole life was a fucking waste just take me out in the barn with the animals and just fucking shoot me. You killed me young god you killed me young, i hope you have a damn good hiding place after i die.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/13/2017 09:03AM by badassadam.

I have also felt my life was a waste and told my parents I wish they would have aborted me. And I have also felt suicidal quite a bit throughout my life as well. I'm sorry you have had to feel that way too Adam no one deserves to feel that way :( and ya I was actually in the grocery store with the fridge open when my mom told me that I would have never been born if it weren't for the fucking cult and I swear I almost projectile puked all over the freaking yogurt! Haha and ya God better have a good hiding place shouldn't he? Ugh I just never could understand how a loving God could let some of his children go through so much pain and torment and then spoil rotten some of his other children I mean isn't that a little bit fucked up?! You see children being hurt so badly on the news and good people like you being misstreated by your own family and being screwd over by a stupid cult and then there's the people like my super tbm bro who have everything handed to them on a silver platter.

Here he has had everything come so easily to him and puts others down for not being as smart or talented as him. Our other brother has some health issues and has a hard time working and he went off on how hes just not that ambitious. Ugh the sob should just be grateful he CAN work and not put others down who are not as fortunate as he is. Also I love his kids so I babysit for him sometimes for no charge and I simply asked him if he could drive me through a drivethrough one night after I babysat because I didn't have any food in my house and he sat and complained about not wanting to spend like five whole minutes going through a drivethrough even though I was going to pay for my food myself and id just spent my whole night watching his kids.

He gets to go on a ton of free vacations for his job too and at Sunday dinner a few weeks ago he sat and put me down and laughed at me and said his five year old son had gotten to go on more trips than me and had accomplished more in his life then me I usually don't like drama but I ended up snapping and told him off and ran out of the room. And then my cousin has had a really hard life and he went off on how he didn't need to spend any time with him that he already had enough relationships in his life. Hell I just don't understand how God can continue to kiss people who act like thats ass and give them tons of free trips that they don't NEED meanwhile there's people like you who NEEDS money for important things like your health and your having a hard time financially while he gets endless free trips see I just don't get how such a "loving God" could let shit like that happen!

And I'm so sorry your family treats you the way they do Adam that's so fucked up! I don't understand how peoole can go to church and act like there such kind and loving Mormons and then turn around the next second and be so nasty to people especially there own family it makes me sick! And the evil cult really needs to be taken down already!!! It needed to be taken down a LOOOONG ass time ago! And yes the church DOES owe you money!!! I mean here you are in need of a surgery and my dad needs a surgery too but neither of you can afford it because the damn cult took your money and they build malls and tons of temples that cost millions and millions of dollars to do there bullshit masonic rituals that have no meaning in them when there members are broke and in serious pain it just makes me fucking sick!!!!! I don't know how they can live with themselves and what there doing to people I just cant even fathom doing that to people! I would really like to see the cult go down and start getting the pants sued off of it!!!!!

badassadam Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Now thats funny. Apparently everybody knows the
> meaning to life except the badass. So keep doing
> your chanting and keep doing whatever exmos do and
> leave me the f#ck alone. My counselor says i am
> improving so i am f#cking improving and i will
> take the professional advice over a nobody any
> day. And i kind of like being a dick lord knows
> nothing else worked for me in life.

If what you say or do offends both sides equally, you're probably doing something right. Consider their words an affirmation of the rightness of your own words or actions.

Haha well done.