Wish I could stay but I would have to change my screen name and whats the point in that.
There are a number of people who have helped me along here but it seems time to move on. After all I'm not Mormon and never will be and have been here long enough to get over whatever brought me here to begin with.
My email is readily available and there still aren't too many Siobhans out there so I am pretty easily found. I'd state a list of people I admire here but would probably leave someone out.
Look me up if you are so inclined!

siobhan...

You got caught up in one of the flurries that periodically happen around here and, inadvertently, you became collateral damage.

I am nevermo too...and there are others of us nevermos here, for all kinds of reasons.

You are part of this community, and while your decision is yours to make (and I do understand what it feels like to be pounced on, especially when you don't even understand why), I hope you reconsider, and realize that your contributions to this board have been, and ARE, appreciated by the many people who are "visible" here...

...and also by those around the planet who read your words, but who you will never know exist.

Your contributions here are valuable, and we-the-regulars know that you are part of this community (if you still want to be).

Please reconsider.

Please hang on. The board needs people like you. Don't let infantile drivel push you away.

Please stay! The current extreme idiocy will pass.

There used to be a Siobhan living in my area. A great tragedy happened and she had to move away because of it. So this is the second time that I have run into the name. Things will get better here, if you want to stay or come back later. I have left the board before and come back months later, when things were better.

I am happy for you, that you were never a Mormon.

Sorry to see you go.

Come back when things blow over maybe?
In any case; be well. Look after yourself.

Find a forum for never-mos you will be alright. Toughen up and no whining.

Badassadam1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Find a forum for never-mos you will be alright.
> Toughen up and no whining.

Adam:

I am nevermo and I have been a part of this community for almost fifteen years. To my knowledge, nevermos have been a part of this community since its early years---because they almost became Mormon...or members of their family or friends are Mormon, or they were/are in the process of becoming Mormon...or they are nevermo Osmond or Gladys Knight fans...or because they have a Mormon employer or co-workers...or they live in a heavily-Mormon area...or they joined a Mormon MLM ;) ...

I came here as the result of a Google search for a piece of data which was, in large part, Mormon-related...

...and I DID find the information I was looking for here...

...and, also, I found a truly extraordinary community of people who, to a large degree, did not even realize how extraordinary they actually were (but I knew, because I grew up among extraordinary people of all kinds)...

...and what I found here, on this forum, was frequently WAY beyond what I was used to in my three-dimensional life.

Nevermos are a chunk of this community, so (speaking for the nevermos here)...

...no "never-mo forums" are needed by we RfM nevermos, thank you very much!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/21/2017 02:25AM by Tevai.

Anybody connected to, or with an interest in, Mormonism, is welcome here. Many nevermos have friend or family connections or just an interest, for whatever reason, in Mormonism. There is no special qualification for becoming part of this group. Nobody has status that is better than someone else's.

The only people asked to go elsewhere are (1) Mormon apologists (we know where we can read their stuff if we feel like seeing it and/or we've heard it all and don't need to see it here) and (2) Those who cause trouble for the board (trollish types or those who can't play nice with others).

It's against board rules (and/or the spirit of RfM) for a poster to tell others they are not welcome here or to indicate there is some kind of hierarchy, that the best RfMers are BICs, or something. Uh, heard that in the church. Doesn't fly here. Instead, we ask that posters are civil to each other, at least. Life hurts everybody at some point, some more than others. Who needs to be beat up on the internet? Don't do it please. We value all contributors here. Nobody needs to show their qualifications at the door to be able to participate and nobody has to defend why they're here or for how long. Lots of people have valuable contributions to make and there is no such thing as BIC status being higher than that of others. Strength through diversity.

Please be kind to others. It's not much to ask for the massive benefit that RfM can be to so many people, including some who forget the purpose and guidelines at RfM.

Ha ha! Told you, Maude always liked you better!

Jesus de mi orno, Siobhan, I'll be sad if you go, and could your conscience handle that?

And I still don't know how to pronounce your name! How'em I ever gonna learn without you?

Some posts back I posted some links about the Irish actress Siobhan McKenna for whom I was named. My dad was 40 when I was born and my name was his blaze of glory

Siobhan, I'd hate to see you go. I don't like the trend I've seen here lately and I think if more regulars feel put off/pushed away/harassed and leave the board then it just won't be the same vibrant community. That would be disappointing. Out of the online communities I've experienced this is the one where I feel the most able to be "me", but I have to say there are much fewer threads I want to participate in lately. I hope it'll blow over. RfM is a good place, I hope it stays that way.

I'm more concerned that you don't feel safe though so want to encourage you to do whatever you need to in getting that security. The board and people's opinions don't even figure when it comes to safety. You know best for you, trust your instincts and put yourself first always. If you want to talk about it ever, I am a survivor myself and interested and available to listen, just let me know.

I know... I asked Google back then how to pronounce your name,and kept pushing the button to listen to it pronounced, but it won't stay in my brain.

Plus I just wanted you to make you stay. I'm manipulative that way.

This Nimo character, whom I think of as Corporal Nino, cuz he's not officer material [spineless, insipid, etc.) isn't my cup of tea.

I suspect we've already met "Nimo" and I think there's ever so much more going on than we've been allowed to see.

Aaaaaanyway, don't try to wrap your head around the pronunciation of Siobhan because ain't nobody can say that name like my departed Grandma Tena, who was born in Glasgow, moved to Belfast, then Edinburgh, then Philly. I tell you, that accent was amazing especially when she spoke of her sister, "Shiheaafvhahaughgnn".

Tevai Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Badassadam1 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Find a forum for never-mos you will be alright.
>
> > Toughen up and no whining.
>
> Adam:
>
> I am nevermo and I have been a part of this
> community for almost fifteen years. To my
> knowledge, nevermos have been a part of this
> community since its early years---because they
> almost became Mormon...or members of their family
> or friends are Mormon, or they were/are in the
> process of becoming Mormon...or they are nevermo
> Osmond or Gladys Knight fans...or because they
> have a Mormon employer or co-workers...or they
> live in a heavily-Mormon area...or they joined a
> Mormon MLM ;) ...
>
> I came here as the result of a Google search for a
> piece of data which was, in large part,
> Mormon-related...
>
> ...and I DID find the information I was looking
> for here...
>
> ...and, also, I found a truly extraordinary
> community of people who, to a large degree, did
> not even realize how extraordinary they actually
> were (but I knew, because I grew up among
> extraordinary people of all kinds)...
>
> ...and what I found here, on this forum, was
> frequently WAY beyond what I was used to in my
> three-dimensional life.
>
> Nevermos are a chunk of this community, so
> (speaking for the nevermos here)...
>
> ...no "never-mo forums" are needed by we RfM
> nevermos, thank you very much!!!

Just saying what was said to me. Go find an lds PTSD forum adam, go find a pain forum adam. We are not a recovery site we just talk about athiest topics all day. People act exactly like church leaders on here, trying to boss people around like they have ownership to the site. So you have been here for more than ten years, so what, graduate already your grip is killing it.

Tevai is an integral part of RfM. There is no graduation requirement for being here.

If you want to participate there are no rules preventing anyone, other than rules of etiquette.

Haha alright, i just don"t think i will need a site after a certain point. Like i told my counselor i have no idea if this is helping or hurting. I get good advice which i use and then i battle wannabe stake presidents trying to boss me around which is the biggest trigger of all for me to the point i want them to come over over and make fun of me face to face like a crazy dude would do, i never said i was normal.

You must realize that you aren't the only one with problems posting here. Lots of people are dealing with their own baggage.

My advice to you is to not internalize what negative posters have to say. And don't let others toxicity become your own.

Not everyone here has the gift of empathy or compassion.

However, Tevai does.

Try not to alienate the people who'd be your friends if you let them.

Solid advice Amyjo

I'm past that however I"m afraid.
Maybe my patience is too thin, my empathy not big enough. Whatever. I"m done. I'm being my own best friend by getting away from this senseless energy drain and annoyance.

I'll return to the board in a couple of months to see if it's cleared up. If not, then not. I'm sure y'all can manage fine without me ;-)

No worries.

You'll be missed too Becca if you go.

Hope you reconsider.

Although taking a break is good sometimes.

Considering how fast these threads move through the feed cycle, the topic will blow over within a day or two and then posters will be discussing something else.

I don't know about you, but I read selectively. I don't have time to read all the posts, so limit what I read to ones that really interest me. (Plus my own topics.)

Take care whatever you decide, and wishing you and yours a very happy Thanksgiving.

:)

Thanks Amyjo. It's the craziness around this one poster that's sending me running for the hills.

There's no getting around him lately, selective reading and all! Any other topic is so swiftly drowned out I can't keep up.

Thank you for your kind words. I will miss you too.

How can you be afraid? I am writing about a serial killer and he knows it and even killed someone of my name the same age I am just to let me know I am in danger. But fear? NEVER!

'I'm not a Mormon and never will be.' I can say this too now, because the posters on this Board helped me out of the church.

Maybe only former stake presidents and those higher up should post if there is a hierarchy of importance on this Board. No women would be allowed to post.

You WILL be missed!

Best wishes to you

Tom in Paris

(another nevermo)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/21/2017 07:26AM by Soft Machine.

Just as an aside, it's interesting that you mentioned Robert Graves in an earlier post. I've been seeing a lot of triple goddess neo-pagan stuff about lately, and I read that he's had a big influence on this type of worship, but that some of his research may be inaccurate.

I can see why women might be attracted to it because it gives them a feeling of power and self-worth that they might not get in patriarchal religions. However, they may be thinking they are following in their ancestors' footsteps belief-wise, when they are actually just following the ideas of a modern man.

I don't mean to hijack your thread, I just find religious history in general interesting, and I think there is a rising trend in belief systems that offer female empowerment at the moment. As I said, I just found it interesting enough to mention.

If you are ever interested I have a theologically reflective Sunday School curriculum based on I,Claudius.
It's not just for Sunday School! Soon I'll be showing it in a local pub.

siobhan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you are ever interested I have a theologically
> reflective Sunday School curriculum based on
> I,Claudius.
> It's not just for Sunday School! Soon I'll be
> showing it in a local pub.


That sounds just like my kind of Sunday School.
I don't know what happened here to make you want to go,
I miss all the drama but you have been here for ages
and ages and you must know that there have been plenty
of nevermo's here through the ages and they have been
so valuable.... I love them, I don't love the people who
pretend like they are mormons and never admit they are not
but that being said, you are not one of them.
I'm sorry you feel like you have to leave and we will miss you if you go.

One of the best parts of I, Claudius is watching the faces of shock and disbelief as someone watches for the 1st time.
I've never shown it in an internet forum. Maybe someone might be interested? Major problem is it was re-released about 10 years ago and reduced from 13 episodes to 12 which destroys the flow of the entire series..
If anyone is interested I'd love to talk.

As for the poster who tried to kill me...his only saving grace is he's seen and appreciated the whole thing.

siobhan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> As for the poster who tried to kill me...his only
> saving grace is he's seen and appreciated the
> whole thing.


The poster who tried to kill you? Jesus christ Sioghan... who was it, or was he/she too cowardly to give their board name?

Yes. As most board members know I was beaten almost to death by a,Mormon in 2013. He is a regular poster on this site and I am doing my best to ignore him.
I did find him trying to sell property online he stole from me and I have also found out that he stole a significant amount from the next place he was living. I am fairly certain that he got into my new residence to steal them. I don't believe he is in town right now but several people have filed additional charges so at least if he comes back to the state those charges will be waiting for him.

I sincerely hope you stay. We need never-mo's here. You guys add needed elements to discussions that Mo's or ex-Mo's can't bring.

Please stay

angela Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I sincerely hope you stay. We need never-mo's
> here. You guys add needed elements to discussions
> that Mo's or ex-Mo's can't bring.

Thank you, angela!!!

:) :) :)

Fellow nevermo here. I think I've been here about ten years, and no one has chased me off yet. :)

I didn't see this particular kerfuffle, but I hope you'll stick around if you want to. If not, I've enjoyed your posts and contributions, Siobhan.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/21/2017 05:26AM by summer.

The Nevermos are not just welcome, they are an important and integral part of RFM. You can't have too many opinions, questions, or experiences. The Nevermos are one more picture window letting light in and while framing a new view. And, their issues count.

But the PTSD from mormonism don't count. We are the no count apparently.

Not true. Lots of people here have some form of PTSD. And in your case, people have really tried to give you good advice and be sympathetic and helpful.

Devoted Exmo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Not true. Lots of people here have some form of
> PTSD. And in your case, people have really tried
> to give you good advice and be sympathetic and
> helpful.


Exactly.

Adam, Devoted pointed out reality to you. And here is another reality on RfM, you are gonna get pushback as well.

It's not one or the other, it's both. It's part of the healing process.

Understanding, acceptance, acknowledgement, sympathy. With pushback. A good combination but it can take time for the wounded to come to appreciate the latter. So many bright shiny faces at church meetings being ever so "nice" to each other, but muttering malice under their breath. (I've experienced it in Mormonism, certainly, but also in non-mo churches, as much as many don't like me saying that). Once you get out into the wider world any differing action, thought, belief or comment can come across as confrontational. Pushback can seem startling, hurtful, incomprehensible. But it ends up helping cotton-wool folks to get along better in the real world outside of church walls where all too often people talk softly ("be nicey nice") but carry a big (if invisible) stick to beat you with if you don't conform.

RfM has helped countless people through many years to understand that what feels like confrontation is more realistic, and helpful, than soft words and marshmallow exchanges. Of course, words matter. Tone matters. But being more open and honest is a healthier approach to living and interacting. Many of us didn't learn that in church. Many have to do so in the cut and thrust of the outside world.

Kind of like when you're in the womb and it's warm and comfy, sloshy and nutritious, nicely dim, and floating about is fun. Then all hell breaks loose and you get squished through a crampy channel to emerge squawking into bright lights and big noise. Your first instinct may be to flee back into your private chamber and stick your thumb in your mouth again. As you grow and learn stuff you get to like the outside world and its challenges and you wouldn't want to scuttle back to the limited state that you started from.

I'm still sensitive and can't make myself stop that. But hopefully I've grown at least a bit since my first early days here when I was actually afraid of somebody being mean to me. I still don't like it but at least I can take it better. I think. :)

Adam, How can you claim to be the "no count" when thread after thread is devoted to helping you, giving advice, commiserating with you? Some of it is not what you wanted to hear, but best friends don't let each other walk around with a booger hanging out their nose.

You are so wise and witty. Concise too. Pithy, in fact.

Love D&D. :)

D&D—brilliant! Best one-liner I’ve heard! :)

I like done and done and he has helped me. Its a poster that tries to get a rise out of me on purpose and i just can not let it go but it is definitely on purpose to the point that i even want to meet the guy just to see what he looks like which i know is a dangerous road i guess but i do better with face to face talking.. But my counselors are definitely working together as a team right now and told me to lay off of starting any of my own topics that set up attack for others. And to try to stop childish behaviors in general.

Really? Who's that poster? Maybe you should ignore him and stop posting antagonistic crap. You're ruining the spirit of this board. Go start your own website "All about Adam". And let the rest of us return to normality.

This!!!!

Summer, "kerfluffle," LOLOLOL. I love it!

There have been entire threads here devoted to kerfuffle.

:)

I am the kerfuffle i admit it.

Kerfuffle sounds like pink cotton candy!! Bring it on!

Aquarius123 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Kerfuffle sounds like pink cotton candy!! Bring
> it on!

:-D

...have not been on in years. What is happening?

You missed it all, but basically i got triggered over and over by a guy doing it on purpose. Making fun of people with PTSD so i tried to defend. You don't make fun of anybody with mental illness, it is very serious to me. Not exactly sure if PTSD is categorized with mental illnesses or not though but they are both very serious things to make fun of. Especially when the illness was church induced, not our fault in my opinion.

"I got triggered". So, it's always other people's actions that cause your reaction? How about growing up and exercising some restraint?

No. You keep threatening to kill yourself or specific family members when you are not dawned over to your liking.

Fawned.

This is a unique place to get "anonymous" feedback and support
Unfortunately some people who feel anonymous are emboldened to be cruel.
I appreciate it when other posters defend me. Validate or reassure me despite cruel comments.
On the other hand, sometimes ANY response to one of these bad actors just emboldens them more

I remember the old AOL chat rooms, where you also did not have to register in order to post... Anonymity can be a drug, as can successfully carried out sock puppetting.

Discipline is one of the proof of maturity. (I'm not saying I'm either!!!)

I've been here for many years and remember you with great fondness. Don't let the current needy kerfuffler send you away.