I'm sorry but I consider this another instance of Mormon superiority/stupidity/arrogance.

Just ordered flowers for a viewing from a florist in a smallish town in UT.

Having lived there for a number of years I know that tastes run very "different" in this part of the world.

I have done some floral designing myself so I am very opinionated about what I want. (Those who don't know design or flowers may not appreciate what I am going to say). I told the lady answering the phone that I wanted the container to be as unobtrusive as possible. Basically most of the containers florists use are cheap -looking pieces of tat whose main function is to detract from the overall cost of the presentation making it possible to use fewer flowers and still take up space. I requested an arrangement with plenty of flowers arranged in a very shallow, unobtrusive container. After talking about what they could do I said a brown shallow basket would also be good. The woman suggested a red bowl. No. I don't want a red bowl. How about a green shallow bowl? I then said, "I just want the container to be as unobtrusive as possible."

The reply was, "I get it, you don't want to have to pay for the container."

People are nuts. I'm spending more than 80 dollars to send a modestly-sized floral arrangement to the "wake" of a TBM distant family member who never gave more than a few thoughts to us his entire life and I get that for a reaction. I'm sure her opinion will spread like wildfire around the small community.

Sometimes you can't win.

I had a similar problem ordering flowers in a small Utah town when my mother died.

I think that woman was rude and presumptive with you. Anyone deserves an extra measure of kindness and consideration when ordering flowers for the deceased. Funeral home workers seem to understand this and florists need to follow their lead.

> People are nuts. I'm spending more than 80 dollars to send a modestly-sized floral
> arrangement to the "wake" of a TBM distant family member who never gave more than a few thoughts to us his entire life and I get that for a reaction.
>


Given your statement of disdain about this relative, what is not understandable is the fact that you are sending flowers at all.

If the flowers are not given in love, why send them?

The grace in sending floweres is for the living who attend - all of them.

There seems to be a glaring lack of concern on the OP's part regarding the bereaved living - the only apparent concern is about personal presentation... and money. The OP appears to be rather put out and inconvenienced by it all.

I disagree. Sending flowers shows concern. I think we've all been a bit uneasy ordering flowers over a distance. A good floral shop knows how to put a long-distance customer at ease. This didn't happen here. I always ask the recipient how they liked the flowers, and I'm mindful of that the next time I order.

We have no idea about that from the post.

What it's about is the interaction with the florist, not about how she feels about those suffering bereavement. I think anyone who sends flowers or other messages deserves appreciation, not insults.

I've sent flowers to Utah many times because I want to comfort the bereaved and remember the deceased. That doesn't mean I wasn't concerned about cost and the appearance of my purchase. I always make it clear to the local florist that I want the arrangement to look rich and full, never skimpy and I tell them that I'm willing to pay higher California prices and expect that Utah prices might be lower. That means I'd appreciate an extra nice bow and three or four roses to spruce up the effect. None of that means I'm put out or inconvenienced.

If I'm not attending, I let the florist know that relatives will send me pictures and let me know how the flowers looked. I've worked hard for my money and like to get value when I spend it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/24/2017 03:08PM by Cheryl.

Yes, the presentation IS important. I'm particular when I send flowers because I don't want them to look tacky. In no way was price the object. That was the whole point.

Anon for this... Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes, the presentation IS important. I'm
> particular when I send flowers because I don't
> want them to look tacky. In no way was price the
> object. That was the whole point.


Agreed... I must confess that when I read your original post, I wondered if the woman was so rude/clueless because she didn't know what "unobtrusive" means. Many people's vocabularies are quite poor nowadays.

Nope - having worked in the floral industry, I can assure you that often shops use the cheapest floral fills and containers, regardless of what a person orders. Because so few people are there to actually see what's actually delivered, it's a great way to cut their costs without any complaints.

She could have stated it more politely, but I think what you got was an acknowledgement that you understand how the game is played, and you're not playing it.

I don't routinely send flowers to funerals anymore. I figure that is for very close family and very close friends. Instead, I either consider my visit and personal condolences sufficient or I send a card of sympathy with a personal note as well.

I'm sorry you got treated that way. She has no customer service skills. And she's mad because she can't cheat you by putting together a piece of crap instead of what you request.

You should have said the flowers were for a gay funeral just to see her head explode.

I found out that with most florists you just pick something from their photos and then remember that part of the deal is that they can substitute as necessary if the same flowers aren't available as they never seem to be. Except for really high end florists, the whole thing is a crap shoot.

I especially found this out at a place in Ogden for my Uncle's funeral last year and the woman helping (?) us clearly hated taking flower orders. I get better bedside manner at the DMV.

I send flowers a lot, especially if it is for a pet who died, but prefer to never know what arrived as I was disappointed so many times by the discrepancy of what I thought I ordered and what was delivered. The whole process pushes the boundaries of "It's the thought that counts" to its limits.

It was nice of you to send the flowers regardless of your relationship with the deceased. Lots of flowers make everyone feel a little better at those times. Don't like a stark funeral myself. Well perhaps that would be appropriate for Manson.

I've been sending my SIL flowers from an Ogden flower shop for birthdays,anniversaries, etc. for several years.

I get great service. I just specify a price range and ask for a nice bouquet of seasonal flowers.

My SIL has never been disappointed and the product have been beautiful.

My approach is to let the professionals do what they love best with the products they have on hand.

Find out what the florist has on hand that is beautiful and abundant. After specifying a price, I let them know that I'm hoping they'll step up and spruce it up a bit since Ogden prices tend to be less than I would pay in California. I let them know I'll be looking at pictures of the arrangement with the person who receives it. Spending a few minutes chatting with the florist means they buy into the project and I'm more pleased with the result.

"Jesus believed in flowers at funerals." This was the headline of one of Dr. George W. Crane's columns in my local newspaper when I was growing up.

Unfortunately, in some areas at least, not as many send flowers to funerals today as they did in the past. I remember when one could walk into a mortuary (funeral home) and find the deceased, having been cared for by a skilled embalmer, peacefully sleeping in his or her casket, surrounded by masses of floral tributes.

O soft embalmer of the still midnight,
Shutting, with careful fingers and benign,
Our gloom-pleas'd eyes, embower'd from the light ...
Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed Casket of my Soul. --John Keats

Father, in Thy gracious keeping
Leave we now Thy servant sleeping. --John Ellerton

I'm the opposite. Some flowers are nice but IMO too many is too many.

When I was a child I received visitors, along with my brother, at my father's viewing. What was most meaningful to me was sincere sorrow and empathy on the part of the visitors. I wanted to know that people shared my grief. In my sorrow, it was easy to differentiate between the people who had genuinely loved my dad and the people who were there simply to make an appearance.