Posted by:
BYU Boner
(
)
Date: December 03, 2017 02:43PM
Well, My Gay Lay, The W of W is akin to masturbation. Coffee, tea, a beer, a cocktail, and a wank are all fun, pleasurable, and harmless. So why all the fuss?
Because cults need control devices.
Take a heathy, normal 16 year old young man (gay or straight). He goes with his friends to Starbucks. Everyone is getting iced mocha lattes. He knows he shouldn’t have one, but fuck, all his friends are drinking their with whipped cream. So, he sneaks one, and it does taste mighty fine.
That night, alone, he feels a little bad. So, rubs one out just to feel good. It does feel good. But, he promises himself he’ll never jack again because he knows his bishop will ask. He feels guilty about being horny and touching himself. Nine hours later, he wanks again, because that’s what 16 year olds do. But, because of the brainwashing he feels guilty and thinks he’s the only one self-pleasuring.
So, he goes and talks with the bishop. The bishop tells him he’s engaged in two serious sins, drinking Expresso, and strangling a chicken. Heavenly Father is very disappointed in him. The kid feels like shit! He promises the bishop he’ll never go to Starbucks or polish the banister again. The poor kid feels duisgusted with himself. A couple of minutes out of the bishop’s office and he feels the familiar rise in his Levi’s.
The next day, his buddies head to Starbucks. He’s feeling guilty but kind of a badass. So, he orders a latte with an extra shot. It, being forbidden fruit, tastes really good. The crowd goes over to a park, shoots the shit, and endulges in a little green stuff.
The kid now feels really bad. But, he knows his parents want him to go on a mission. By now, he regularly drinks coffee, tokes, and choaks...however, and this is key for a cult...he feels terribly guilty. He feels like he’s the only fucked-up kid in Mormonism.
Eventually, the young man will lie about everything to go on his mission. He’ll continue to berate himself privately for not being worthy. He’ll lie to everybody about how he knows the church is true. Then, he’ll be promoted to bishop and scare the fuck out of the young people who come to visit him. Why, because he was controlled and guilted, and now he gets his jollies from controlling and guilting and shaming others.
And, that why, the Word of Wisdom ain’t going away. The Bishop’s Boner.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/03/2017 03:10PM by BYU Boner.