Step back and remember how truly bizarre it is to wrap your brain around this page. Seriously, I'm so happy to have left all of this garment goofyism behind twenty years ago.

https://store.lds.org/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/GCPage.html

I'm happy to say I never resorted to wearing those silly looking garments for undergarments. They looked so hideous on my parents when I was a child I must've made a subconscious promise to myself I wasn't going there.

I still have nightmares with my father walking around the house in his garments.

My mom was on the phone once in only her garments. It was just her, me, and our BB parrot Molly in the house that day.

Molly did not like my mother very much. I did not know how much until she attacked her while mom was on the phone. Molly had run of the house because she was like a Houdini. She could wrangle her way out of her cage no matter if it was wired shut or locked shut.

So it came down to she had free rein most of the time.

Well that day she decided to let mom have it.

She came charging at mom from the livingroom into the kitchen (she was a tiny little parrot mind you.) Her wings were flapping furiously and she was screeching as she sunk her talons into mom's shoulders through her garments. I'd never seen Molly so worked up before or since that day.

Mom screamed for me to get Molly off of her. It was quite a sight to behold. Molly loved me so I had an easy time getting her off of mom. Don't ask me what came over Molly that day. But she was really wound up.

Maybe it was mom's garments that set her off?

Mom was the one who brought Molly home. Guess Molly forgot about that.

The Mormon "magic" underwear gift certificate - it's a steal at only $3.50.

;-)

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b2/cd/6f/b2cd6f79eb89747329441644b23b6388.jpg

How come no photo of those "garments" ? How will I know what I am buying ?

I went there looking for pictures too, to be reminded of what I don't have to wear now.

I was "disappointed" to read "Garments and ceremonial clothing relate to covenants made in the temple. Because of their sacred nature, membership verification is required to view these items."

Darn. I wanted to see those silly things.

So, they only sell to certain people and they require verification.

Is that like requiring a marriage license and birth certificates to make sure the people ordering a cake are not gay?

Is that like requiring a background check to sell a gun?

Is that like, "No blacks served here" signs in the window?

This is complicated. What if the Mormons had to sell their sacred crap to anyone? It wouldn't be half as fun for us!

I especially like the descriptions:
Dry Lux and DrySilque.

No one wants wet garments!

Here, let me translate that:

We're using some new materials, to which we've given fancy-sounding names, to make garments. 'Cause they're cheaper, but we're not going to tell you that. In fact, we're going to raise the price for the "wonderful new" garments, even though they cost us less to make, so we can get more profit from each magic underwear sale. 'Cause, you know, paying those GA stipends isn't cheap.

They still don’t have an older gents’ thong option (a g-string G) :) Hie’s real reason is dead accurate. Now, if they could come up with stainless fabric with odor control...

Maybe they should call it...

Hold your Priesthood in the GA-String - the thong that can't be wrong.

Hold your dong in a priesthood thong!

Damn, Bone...WTF??...."older gents thong"??? now you've done it....I've got a pic in my fevered mind that I can't unsee!!

One of the many kind things my believing DW did for me was buy me undies as I was slowly going nuts having bastardized masonic symbols next to my skin. But I digress.

I'm curious how long it might have taken some of you to voluntarily put on a white t-shirt that was not absolutely required due to the type of shirt. I've been out around 3 years and I still find it hard to put on a white t-shirt of any kind unless I am wearing a starched dress shirt where it would show through.

I have to admit, I liked the bottoms better than underwear because I'm fat. No chub rub when wearing dresses. I no longer attend church, so not a big issue. I hated the lines that easily showed though.

customer satisfaction scores?

I didnt get the protection from the destroyer that I paid for!
: (

"Holy underwear!" — Governor William J. Lepetomane