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Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: Anonymous 2 ( )
Date: December 10, 2017 05:58PM

"people asked about you"(and never say who)? or "people missed you and want you to come back"!??(and never say who)?

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Posted by: BullShite ( )
Date: December 10, 2017 06:02PM

They won't give you names because it's BS

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Posted by: Abbynotloggedin ( )
Date: December 10, 2017 06:06PM

It's BS if anyone is missing me they'll know how to get in touch with me. In fact Noone is "missing you" as a person but the church is missing your $$$ and your free work.

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Posted by: Anonymous 2 ( )
Date: December 10, 2017 06:10PM

It's not like they know where I live.I'm still in the same place taking care of my elderly TBM dad.

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Posted by: Aquarius123 ( )
Date: December 10, 2017 06:12PM

Yeah, they want your money and free work, and some just want to get all up in your business. They like to sound like they are dying from heartache because you are no longer on the treadmill with them.

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Posted by: numbersRus ( )
Date: December 11, 2017 01:28PM

Lots of busy work requires many hands.

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Posted by: Topped ( )
Date: December 10, 2017 11:22PM


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Posted by: Phazer ( )
Date: December 11, 2017 09:41AM

They are lonely and are not sure why they stick around so they feed you BS to get your feelings churning and make you feel missed and come back again... to clean up the toilets on Saturday.

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Posted by: Mother Who Knows ( )
Date: December 11, 2017 11:25AM

I was with another ex-Mormon, when a former ward member approached him and said the usual, "We miss you at church."

He answered, "What, exactly, do you miss?" The Mormon had no answer to that.

I hope someone says, "People ask about you" again, so you can reply with a friendly smile, "Oh. Exactly WHO asked about me?"

Then wait, in awkward silence until the person gives you a name.

I'm not dead. I still live in the same house. The Mormon neighbors have my phone number. (They used it enough, to call me to ask me to play the piano, teach, clean, take dinner to someone, and to try to force my kids to do things.) They have many opportunities to say "hello" at the grocery store, or around the neighborhood. They could text or e-mail or send a Christmas card. SHOW ME that you miss me. Actions speak louder than words.

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Posted by: sparty ( )
Date: December 11, 2017 11:27AM

When I went away to college, I lived off campus in an area that fell into the boundaries of a family ward (not the student/young adult ward near campus). As they do, the church found me and sent the goon squad out to try to bring me back to Zion. One day, a dude that looked to be in his mid-40s was at my door - he started getting quite emotional when he started telling me about how much he has missed seeing me in church each week. At this point, I lost my temper and started yelling at him that he has NEVER seen me in church ANY Sunday and that he was, in fact, full of shit. I never saw another representative from that ward.

The fact of the matter is that Mormons have a short memory. Maybe they were your friends when you were a member, but once you stopped going, they found other friends to mingle with in the lobby between meetings. When they "ask about you" or "miss you so much," it is just bullshit to make you feel loved and guilty for turning away from the beloved Saints. God they are gross.

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Posted by: Observer44 ( )
Date: December 14, 2017 07:46AM

Well, much like Mitt, I bet that while he didn't actually see you there he thought he'd seen you there "in his mind's eye." Isn't that good enough?

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: December 11, 2017 11:39AM

It's as if they believe you will actually return to church if

Brother and Sister Pencil Neck miss you. Yeah Right.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: December 11, 2017 11:49AM

They say they miss you because they operate on feelings. Feelings are the fuel of the Mormon church. They say things things to "touch" you in order to review your feelings for the Mormon church which must be good feelings because what else could they be?

Decades later my parents are still trying to find just the right moment to say just the right thing with just the right inflection to make me remember that I have a testimony. I usually try to give just the right blank stare and just the right unreadable expression in return so as not to give them hope or hurt them. Tricky.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: December 11, 2017 01:53PM


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Posted by: icanseethelight ( )
Date: December 11, 2017 02:18PM

"We miss you" falls into three catagories:

1: They are assigned to bring you back to the fold because you have been selected in a Presidency meeting to be a project

2: It is a counting month that determines next years budget

3: They actually miss you.

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: December 11, 2017 02:31PM

They say they “miss” you because misery loves company.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: December 11, 2017 06:29PM

I would treat it like someone asked after you while you were away at college. "Oh, that's lovely! Tell them that I am doing great, and having so much fun! Give them my best."

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: December 11, 2017 06:32PM

Misery loves company

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Posted by: readwrite ( )
Date: December 12, 2017 05:15AM

I know I'm helpful, caring, warm, exciting, intelligent, attractive, funny, smart and amusing but I have other things to do than help a harmful 'church' get through its faith confusion, its emotional stalemate, and especially its latest identity crisis and blame games.

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Posted by: obscurity ( )
Date: December 12, 2017 08:54AM

"When I attended, I missed me, too."

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: December 12, 2017 09:19AM

Awesome!

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Posted by: alsd ( )
Date: December 12, 2017 09:06AM

I would not say it is always BS. When I was a true believer (is that what TBM means? I am new here so all of the abbreviations are a bit of a mystery to me...) my wife and I were pretty good friends with our Branch President and his wife. About two months after he was released they suddenly announced that there were no longer coming to church. They cut off all contact with everyone in the Branch too. My wife and I genuinely missed them as friends, not as church members trying to re-activate them. They eventually re-connected via Facebook, but still they still refused to see anyone in person. Now as my wife and I are very much struggling with church, and on the border of leaving as well, we really want to connect with them more than ever. We really just want to talk with them about what they went through, what led to their decision, etc. And again, we genuinely miss their friendship. But I am afraid they still only view us as true believers who are trying to re-activate them, so they still avoid us like the plague.

Anyway, perhaps most are just trying to do their duty as good Mormons and "save" you. But I do think there are some cases where the reaching out may be due to genuine, non-church related, friendship and/or a desire to talk with someone who may have gone through the same church struggles as themselves.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: December 12, 2017 09:21AM

Invite them over for coffee, and post a photo of you and your wife and your new coffee maker!

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Posted by: alsd ( )
Date: December 12, 2017 09:32AM

Good idea! Although my wife is not a fan of coffee, I down 2-4 cups a day. Surprisingly, I have not been struck by lightning for unfaithfulness!

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: December 12, 2017 09:32AM

Why does members say that?

Because it reaffirms their decision to stay with the church. That's why so many do the mental gymnastics when they learn the truth.

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Posted by: op47 ( )
Date: December 12, 2017 01:54PM

I wish I could say that the Mormons have the monopoly of this behaviour, but I can't.

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Posted by: smirkorama ( )
Date: December 12, 2017 04:30PM

Those MORmONS are rolling with MORmON myth (LIES), its a MORmON modality, just like constantly gushing about those NON existent golden tablets !!!! .......MORmONISM runs on LIES!!!!

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Posted by: rubi123 ( )
Date: December 12, 2017 04:49PM

I can't read your responses with all those CAPS. Yes, it's clear Mormons on MORONS but if you could give it a rest . . .

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Posted by: sparty ( )
Date: December 12, 2017 04:57PM

Seriously, give the caps a rest. We get it, but I tend to ignore your posts when you go overboard.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: December 13, 2017 06:09PM

"People" asked about you.

Who?

Top. "People."

(with apologies to Indiana Jones)

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: December 13, 2017 07:09PM

I'm with Hie...

I'd ask who and what did they say.

That's such bullshit.

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