My comments on another post prompted me to write this thread.

There used to be a show on FOX called Arrested Development probably about 10 years ago. I thought it was a stupid show and made no sense, until I left the Morg. Now it make complete sense.

Looking back at my life I see that I learned absolutely nothing about about how the world really works. Everything from interacting with people to knowing how we came about is completely off. I see NOW that I missed out on a lot of things. In high school I blew off girls because they weren't mormons, because I would endanger my soul, etc. At the time I was completely wrapped up in the Morg.

I guess my question is does anyone else feel that they are stuck in a state of arrested development? How does one catch up with everyone else? Or is this something I'm stuck with?

you were so morg-washed that you couldn't get the humor. I thought it was hysterically funny and never missed it, ie, the car one character drove was an airplane stairs vehicle, etc. It was just toooo funny!

Just wondering...what did you drive, Mick? ;)

My first car was a rusted out 1994 Pontiac Sunbird. Bought it for $500, had it for 2 years until it exploded.

I totally get it now. Funny show. Funny because I see a lot of myself, and I can laugh about a lot of it now.

You're gonna get some hop-ons.

I think there is something to it, although I think there are many things that can cause the same phenomenon. It would be difficult to pin any particular cause of Mormonism. It could be just your reaction (or mine) to the situation. Others might not have been inhibited as you or I might have been.

To expound a little on this thought process, I think for me it was a separation from reality that stunted growth. Trying to understand the unrealities of the church and chruch environments instead of the realities of the real world was no help to my growth. Others may not have been inhibited in the same way or they may have been able to function better than me in the unrealities of Mormonism.

In the final analysis (imo) my task is to look at the situation and the way I in particular reacted to it. I think the best we can do is to undersand the role we allowed the church to play in our lives and understand reasons why this paradigm appealed to us when it did.

Like the original poster I think my development was very much "arrested" by being a Mormon. While it's true that many other environments or situations might cause similar results I'll bet dogma is at the heart of each one.

Looking back I'm amazed to realize how much of my "Stunted" development was self imposed. Sure I could have walked away much sooner, but why didn't I? A whole bunch of blame has to lie at the feet of the cult leaders and my parents that were so diligent in teaching me how to shame myself into obedience. The Mormon thought filters were carefully crafted and gently placed on my mind. Once they were in place I spent a lot of time and energy making sure they didn't fall off. Again, self imposed misery.

It's it great to be free?

Stunted

I could have left sooner. I could have rebelled more. Why didn't I? I felt like a prisoner but there were no bars or wardens. I could have just walked. Of course I did eventually anyway.

Freedom is sweet.

Yes

In the show the cause of the arrested development was being member of the Bluth family— the most disfunctional family ever. I sometimes feel like Mormonism did a similar to me— at least in some areas.

As much as I hate to admit it the Church actually helped me be more advanced in others areas that I would not have been had I not been LDS.

I was always trying to be "good" . . . looking for external reassurance and pats on the back. I didn't realize that what **I** thought and believed should matter most to me, and would be the most deeply satisfying approval to have.

I had a hard time making decisions for myself and a hard time saying no. And just forget about confrontations. I was terrified of disappointing or making other people upset. I was a doormat until about 1 year before we left.

If I could have had someone to tell me every little thing I should do (as long as it was consistent with the rules), I would have been ready to follow. I didn't realize that I was supposed to be the boss in my own life, and that I had a RIGHT to make decisions that affected me . . . things like if I wanted to work, or how many kids I wanted: I didn't need to pray or ask 5 other people when it was MY decision to make.

Some time after I left, I realized that I had become more independent and that I felt truly like an adult (and by extension, I realized that I had been a bit like a little girl previously).

And the biggest factor was not looking to other people for advice or to tell me I was good enough.

I guess I'll just have to get use to it, and except that I'm a little behind everyone else.

Arrested Development ran from 2003-2006 and was the pinnacle of American comedy.

Her?

Almost, but close. The characters are a mix of a few of my family members. My former husband told me about the series and said, "Uh, toto, it's your family." When I watched it for the first time I couldn't stop laughing and then thought, "Oh gee, which one am I?"

I realized I'm Michael and asked my ex. He responded, yes. He said that I'm the only sane member of my family. And we wonder why I joined the morg in my early twenties? I thought I was the insane one at the time but it turns out everyone else was crazy.

You're not alone. The morg arrests normal development. This wasn't a choice we made freely so we just have to put in some effort to fill in the developmental lapses and know we didn't cause the problem.