My son and his wife graduated from BYU-I on Friday night. Mrs. Cake and I drove the horrible 200 miles or so to Rexburg to be there to support both of them. We were in our seats by 5pm and it was then I realized that I wasn't at a commencement ceremony. It was church time. We were told by Henry Eyring that there would be no whistling, clapping, or loud laughter tolerated.

We endured the first 90 minutes of "celebrations" featuring insipid hymns, and the unexpected metaphorical talks which began with a simple story which then morphed into "and this is how the gospel seems like a metaphor for my story...".

It was at the end of the first meeting that I realized I had another 90-minutes of drivel to sit through. Jeez, what the hell? Eyring kept crying during his speech whenever he mentioned the student body at large going out into the world to "serve". What? No! They aren't going out to serve! They are going out to make more tithing money!!!!

At the end of the second meeting of drivel, the group of extended family members wanted to drive to Idaho Falls for a late supper. It's 9:30pm, Texas Roadhouse has a full one hour wait, and it is snowing like hell. No. No. No.

I held my breath, stomped my feet, and folded my arms in protest. "I need a beer, a shot, and to get away from all of your churchianity for a few minutes if you want me to remain civil", I said. We ordered pizza, I got my beer and a shot. Things were better.

If TSCC wants to convert, re-convert, amuse, or interest people to their cultish ways, I swear upon a stack of BOM's the absolute worst way to do it is to keep having commencements like the one I attended on Friday. I was one of 3 adult males who had facial hair. I had my hair in a pony-tail and got differing looks from the crowd. Especially, older men who stared, almost glaring at my hippie attire.

I'm not planning on returning to Rexburg, Idaho. If I have to return there again, I will dress, drink, and return on my terms.The LDS Church is a cult and I want nothing to do ever do with it again.

Cake

cakeordeath Wrote:
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> The LDS Church is a cult and I want nothing to do ever do with it again.


Amen

cakeordeath Wrote:
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> I was one of 3 adult males who
> had facial hair. I had my hair in a pony-tail and
> got differing looks from the crowd. Especially,
> older men who stared, almost glaring at my hippie
> attire.

Frankly, I'm surprised they let you in :)

Living in Southeast Idaho I can relate to what you said. The culture on BYU-I campus is like walking into another world, it's almost hard to believe unless you have been there.

The farther away from Mormonism you get, the weirder it seems.

danr Wrote:
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> The farther away from Mormonism you get, the
> weirder it seems.

Amen to that.

Cake, you get huge dad props for enduring that kind of hell. Event bigger props for looking everyone in the eye and getting a beer and a pop. Good on you!

I work in academia (large public university) and one thing we've done is make the commencements more personal. Each college has their own commencement, aimed mainly at the bachelor degree and master degree recipients, where they try to keep the formalities to an hour or so (cheering, hooting and hollering actually encouraged), and then there is a college reception, up to 2 hours, where the parents, students and professors can mingle. The PhD recipients are called out individually at the big commencement (with the invited speaker/honorary graduate) at the football stadium. Even our staid university is smarter than to invite someone as boring as a Mo GA to speak.

My (large, public) alma mater also holds spring commencement in the football stadium. They try to have interesting speakers. When I was there, the president would just sort of point to the different schools and then pronounce the students graduated, at which point everyone would switch their tassels. The PhDs got their diplomas and hoods onstage. Then you would go to the department of your major for a celebration, which felt more personal. We would pick up our diploma holders there, but the actual diplomas were mailed later.

My grad school did the whole "walk across the stage" thing, and it took seemingly forever. I did appreciate it, though. I worked really hard for that degree!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/18/2017 12:17PM by summer.

cakeordeath Wrote:
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> They aren't going out to serve!
> They are going out to make more tithing money!!!!

Paying money to the church is, by the church's definition, the ultimate service.

That was above and beyond the call of duty. You should get some kind of medal for endurance.

The plus for me though, was your use of the term "churchianity." Too good.

Religious or secular, large or small. Because of my drinking, I flunked a course 2nd semester senior year, and they wouldn't even let me pass through the ceremony and receive a blank diploma holder! The Lord High Mucky-Muck, the August Dean of Students gave me five hours to be packed and off campus. :=\

I took a gut summer course and got the hours I needed to "graduate," and they sent me my diploma in a plain brown wrapper. I think it was signed by the Secretary to the Assistant Director of Campus Security. I call it my "Bachelor of Alcoholism."

Are you seriously telling us no one in the audience had a beach ball?

Elyse Wrote:
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> Are you seriously telling us no one in the
> audience had a beach ball?

OMG, security would have lost it on whoever snuck one in. When Eyring got up and told every one that the graduation commmencement was a solemn meeting, it put the audience on notice that this was a "no-fun zone".

BTW, just for some reference which might illustrate the amount of trauma I endured, let me tell this story. Rewind my life's tape back to the early 1980's and I am at Ricks College. I'm at a dance with a pretty girl who I had asked out for the dance. At one point, there is a song for slow-dancing. As we are dancing around and talking to each other, some douchebag walks up and puts a BOM in between us. "You cannot dance that close. It's very inappropriate for the Spirit". I pulled away from my date and started to swing my hand right into this clown's face. My date pushed me back and stopped me. We left and found a place to talk and enjoy the rest of the evening without supervision. I've now been married to that girl for over 35 years.

I remember hating Ricks College for many years after that. A school/church which treats adults like children that have to be watched over is not destined to succeed on a lot of levels. I was always in trouble because I refused to take Institute classes. I would never show up for Sunday meetings because I was busy studying for my classes. I made such an ass of myself that they left me alone to finish out two semesters before they kicked me out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/21/2017 12:11AM by cakeordeath.

I had to sit through Bruceie McConkie at my Ricks College graduation. All I wanted was to get out of there and get the hell outta Rexburg. Of course, Cryring was the pres so we had to listen to his stories about the little red-headed boys for the umpteenth time also. When I graduated from UVSC 28 years later, I had no intention of sitting through another General Conference graduation. I gave my kid a choice of whether he wanted to see me graduate or do a Vegas trip. "Hmmmm.... lemme think...."