We have been officially out almost 12 years. This year has been the year of changes for my wife and I. We have had several close friends pass away causing us to reevaluate our life and priorities. In July I decided to resign from my job due to the progression of my Ménière's disease. I have had a very successful 28 year run and we are in a good place financially which allows me to do something that I can do well into retirement. We also decided to take a year or two off and live overseas to travel while we are in our early 50's and healthy. Unfortunately life threw us another curve ball. My wife's father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given a few months to live. So we have just sold our home, placed everything in storage and moved to St George Utah so we can help care of him. Again we are fortunate to be in a good financial place to be able to do this. So, my FIL has always handled finances so my MIL knows nothing about their bills. My poor wife is not only caring for her father (she is a nurse) but also must wade through the stacks of unpaid bills and get the finances under control. So last night she tearfully tells me how her mother will lose the house once dad dies because of the loss of Social Security income. Sadly, despite the poverty they live in they continue to give money to the LD$ church. My wife is so angry and is unsure what she will say when she finally meets their bishop. I am angry for her and can see the sadness she feels. Where is the goddammed church when my in laws need them? Nowhere to be seen but willing to take his f-ing money. Also, any exmos in St George wanting to have a drink we would love to meetup sometime. Not sure how long we will be here. Thanks for letting me vent.

That's a tough spot - as long as mother-in-law has her faculties, she may insist TSCC continues to receive its "cut." She's been brainwashed to believe that blessings will come from her tithe - even when she loses her home.

So very sad.

Wishing all of you strength and peace.

Why wouldn't your MIL receive her husband's SS after he passes away? Or will she have to choose between hers or his?

Congrats on your retirement.

Sorry to hear about your FIL and MIL situation.

Perhaps your wife can convince MIL to give her POA to handle finances? Then let wife take over and nip the tithing thing in the bud while she still can.

She'll be providing a loving service if your MIL allows this.

The church isn't going to miss her money donations. But she will when she can no longer pay her mortgage.

I feel your pain- and anger. Lots to think about. Housing for MIL that would’ve downsizing, SS survivor benefits and a myriad of other services. Key in on health care. Throwing lots of things out because I don’t know all circumstances. The bishop will probably recommended a senior mission....

Gatorman

Is a reverse mortgage an option?

My wife is daughter number 3 of 8 and we along with another sister are financially able to manage the house thing. The frustration is really around the amount of money being given to the LD$ church and how little they are doing to help her parents out. Even their property taxes are reduced to virtually nothing yet they give thousands of dollars to the morg. Frustrating!

Okay, consider me anon4this:

Regarding Social Security, there's always (what it's called in SoCal) "The Mexican Option..."

That's where the terminal patient is toddles off to a 'miracle spa' in the wilds of the Sonoran desert in Northern Mexico. But there really is no 'miracle spa', just a building where a couple of emails a month are sent to relatives in the home town, in which the 'patient' says a few things about how he is progressing, etc. But of course he has died...

Because there is no death certificate forwarded to the Social Security Administration, the individual's payments continue to hit ye olde American bank account.

The fee is $100/month. If two payments are missed, they send an official Mexican death certificate to the SSA.

So far I haven't heard of anyone being caught, and I'm still benefiting from my mom's and dad's SS retirements, even though he is, on the record, 114 and my mom is 107. (Okay, I'm not collecting the money, maybe it's my twin brother...)

In the words of a famous song: "If this is wrong, I don't want to be right!"

For about 8 years before my mom died, I was in charge of her finances for the most part. She asked me to do it even. When her monthly expenses started to exceed her montly pension and SSA, I didn't tell her that she would not be paying tithing any longer. I talked to her bishop (or branch president) and told him that she would not be paying tithing now that her cost of living exceeded her income. To that guy's credit, he said not a problem. He even renewed her TR without any grief.

So, maybe you just need to tell your wife to cut the tithing off and not say anything.

Depending on the sources of income, you could try to convince her that tithing was paid on the original earnings and it's not necessary to pay again, especially if it was paid on gross income.

Yep this happened to me i paid tithing when i should not have and now i am in a real pickle financially wishing i had my tithing back. Thought the lord or church would come through for me but i can barely talk them into paying my rent without hassle, it's bullsh#t and i am still a disabled man which makes it all the more worse. F#ck christ and this month is all i have to say, sorry jesus followers its a pagan holiday anyways. What is worse about the church is they do tithing settlement right now just to add the final nail in the coffin.

If you run into my Mormon family while in St. George, watch your wallet and don't turn your back, that's where they stab.

Don, I just want to beat your personal troll to the punch...


DON BAGLEY, YOU'RE A BIG OLD MENSCH!!

Been watching lord of the rings today and i saw a troll and it was one uuugly b#stard.

Ha ha ha...hilarious