I'm at the age where my parents and family members are really starting to question why I haven't gone through the temple yet. I'm probably never going to get married (at least...not while I'm living in Utah, but that's a whole other story), so I can't use that excuse anymore.

In reality, the whole idea of the temple makes me nervous. And I know this sounds vain, but I do NOT want to wear garments. It would completely stifle my sense of confidence, fashion, and well-being. Plus, people would start to expect a lot more out of me at Church and I'm trying to stay invisible.

But, I can't directly say these things to my believing family and friends. Is there a better way to say it?

Delay, delay, delay. If they ask questions say you want to be thoroughly prepared for the experience and are relying on promptings from the Holy Ghost to go when the time is right.

Eventually, you’ll need to start slowly with expressing your doubts about wanting to go. But, that’s for later.

If you do decide to give the temple a go, I suggest that you view the ceremony on YouTube so you know EXACTLY what to expect and the Covenants you’re expected to make. Wearing garments are not the creepiest thing about the temple, IMO.

Best wishes!

Solution? Move and marry a nevermo...easier said than done but moving out of the shadows of family and a temple would be in your long term best interest

Gatorman

Back in our day, no one went through the temple unless they were going on a mission or getting married. Sometimes when women were very far past normal mormon marriage age (40+), they'd allow them to go through, but certainly didn't encourage it. I was floored recently when I heard that they encourage young women in their 20s to go to the temple.

Obviously, many more are finishing college and getting careers. If they go through the temple there is more pressure to keep up their recommends and thus, fork over the 10%. I'm sure getting them imprisoned in the horrid undies is a motivation too. Don't do it, certainly not to please someone else. Just let them know that you haven't felt the spirit tell you it's time to go.

NormaRae hit on the solution! Don't pay a full tithe and then be honest about it and express a desire to eventually pay a full tithe...

Or just start smoking...

"I'm not ready" is
Not a good reason, because it might incriminate you. Mormons are nasty gossips, especially where single women are concerned, and they might interpret that as meaning you are "not worthy."

I think you should get all dreamy-eyed and romantic and virginal!
This is way too sacred and personal to discuss! After all, your interrogators aren't telling you anything about what goes on inside the temple, are they.
Blush! I like that.

Say, "I plan on going to the temple
When I get married, or when I turn 60--whichever comes first."

You will buy yourself a lot of years of freedom with that response.

(humor)
Tell them some guy online (me!) taught you all the secret handshakes and passwords (and the death gestures, but since they don't use those anymore, that was a waste of time!). So you don't need to go to the temple to learn 'em, you're good to go -- you know how to get past the sentries guarding the way up to the Celestial Kingdom!

Then give 'em the last secret handshake to prove it: regular handshake, except you interlock pinkies, and put your index finger on the middle of the wrist of the other person, and say, "Health to your navel, marrow to your bones..."

:)

(humor off)

If you don't want to do the above, I suggest simply telling people you'll go when you feel ready, and that's not yet.
Good luck.

Tell them you the watched the ritual online and .... no thank you

I would just tell them that you are not interested in going to the temple at this time. If you feel that response needs bolstering, then add that you are somewhat old-fashioned about it and want to wait until you marry.

Remember, your feelings about things are important. Don't let people bully you into doing something that you don't want to do.

Why do you owe anyone an explanation for your actions?

You're an adult right?

If someone askes you about it just say "why do you ask".

When they answer you just say "Oh"and don't give them

any answer while you look them straight in the eyes. It's none

of their business.

"I'm not ready," followed by no explanation, is a good response. "I'll know when I'm ready," is another. Nobody can argue.

You are making a good decision to not get roped in; the endowment comes with a string of obligations and behaviors, on top of perpetual 10% tithing, that you're required and expected to keep doing until you die, and there's no graceful exit from that.

I hope you're working on eventually moving away from these controlling people and finding new more comfortable friends. Mormons tend to try to control unmarried singles as if they're still minors. You don't want to live that role forever. Start expressing yourself with authority and don't cave to their "counsel."

I agree with Summer, to just tell others you are somewhat old-fashioned about it and want to wait until you get married.

That you want your first ever visit to the Celestial Room to be in the company of your husband.

That you want the 1st man to lead you through the veil of the Temple to be your husband. This is the only man to whom you will tell your Sacred New Name. That you don't want to tell it to any other man. Sounds Romantic, no?

Plus, what the other commenter said about wanting to wait until the Holy Ghost tells you it's time to go to the Temple for the 1st time. No one can argue with the Holy Ghost.

You can even say the Holy Ghost has already inspired you that your husband should be the 1st man to lead you through the veil of the Temple. Remember no one can argue with feelings of direction from the Holy Ghost.

Tell them you prayed about it and gawd said it wasn't the right time. Gawd will let you know. They can't argue about personal revelation.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/16/2018 06:56PM by caedmon.

Because you read that there is naked touching and you have to wear funny clothes.

Seriously, don’t go. It is a whole lot of crazy.

I love how Atari described the temple, "It is a whole lot of crazy."

You have been given lots of good suggestions for responses.

And, remember that Mormons do not have healthy boundaries.

You DO NOT owe anyone an explanation. Live your life true to you and tell people it's rude to ask such personal questions. Then change the subject. Perhaps to something they would find intrusive and uncomfortable....