So my mom is still tbm. (pretty much) She is nearly 80 and not very mobile. She has recently moved into a care home near me from another city.

Members of the church had promised to come and help her move.
They did in the city she was leaving. That was great.

But on the other end, when it came to unloading the van and moving her into her new appartment?..

They didn't show up.
Nor could we reach anyone on the phone that day.

So husband and I did it ourselves. (we were completely exhaused at the end of it.)

Then a month... a fucking MONTH! went by before she hears from the ward she moved into. (and fyi, netherlands is a small country. SHe's lived in this ward before and the bishop knows her and claims to be her friend. All mormons in the whole country pretty much know eachother from stake conferences and such)

Then the relief society president shows up on her doorstep... blaming my mother for not having communicated clearly enough about what time anybody was expected to come help ... (bulshit!!) oh and it had been a long time since mum had been in the temple hadn't it?? (mum can barely walk 50 yards..)

Next day, bishop and his wife show up... all sunshine and nicy nicy... and oh by the way if mum wants to come to church, they would be delighted!! A member in the area drives a church owned car and he would be delighted to give her a ride to church. All she has to do is call him and pay him 3 bucks and he'll take her to church!

I just about blew my top when I heard this!!
She has to fucking Pay to get a ride to church in a church owned car!!?????
She's paid tithing all her bloody live and this fucking cult is rich enough to solve all hunger problems in the word in one foul swoop and they want HER to fucking PAY for a ride to their meeting???!!!!!

And not one damned apology for not helping her move!! not ONE!! Just lame fucking excuses about how the phone didn't work properly, how mum had failed to give them a good number where they could reach her... how mum had been unclear about what time she'd be at her new house so nobody knew.... Not ONE; I'm so sorry we weren't here for you... NOT ONE!!

Jesusfuckingchrist how I hate that fucking cult!!!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/04/2018 06:31AM by Becca.

I feel bad for you and your mom.

I'd be angry too.

Now that your mom is in a care home, it will be interesting to see if anyone from the ward or mission comes to visit her. My guess is that she will fall off of their radar completely.

It's nice that she had you and your husband to help her move. That's how nevermos typically move. You recruit family members or sometimes very close friends, or you hire movers. When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I moved myself. When I moved from NYC, I just had my brother to help me. My last move, I hired movers for the big furniture and moved about half of the boxes myself. Yes, it is tiring!

The church does nothing for seniors except take their money. It has been repeated here frequently that a Mormon will devote his or her life and life savings to the church and will get zero support in return in old age. Some kind individual members may assist here and there, but the church itself has no intentions of ever helping. The Mormon church only takes, it does not give.

Amen

Hopefully she won't take them up on her offer.

https://www.indy100.com/article/swearing-profanity-honesty-psychology-facebook-dishonest-8137476

Cut and past problems.

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. All of me is in recovery.

Is that profuse enough for you ?

This is a board for recovering Mormons. You know, like recovering alcoholics. Here we focus on me messages - not you attacks.

Becca, bless her heart, is focused on her mama. Hardly an I message in there except her describing how she helped her mama move, and in addition how pissed off the church' unwillingness to help her move made her.

Keep the focus on yourself here buddy. If you want to help yourself recover from the crazy ass effects of having been inside a cult for all of your life.

signed,
a recovering Mormonholic

I have no idea what you are babbling about. I suppose that makes two of us. Get well soon. Have a nice day.

A troll (now thankfully deleted) was upset that Becca could be so angry that Becca would swear at "the church". I swear.

“I, I, I, I, I, I, I, ...”

I’m going off the rails on a crazy train.

Sheesh, many bloggers use the I word. It didn't occur to me before that is a bad thing. Nor have I at any time associated bloggers with blogging about their life experiences equating to wearing nose rings or tattoos.

Go figure.

If we can't describe our experiences here on RfM, what's a "recovery from Mormonism" site good for?

Absolutely nuthin.

Thanks Eric, for all you do to keep things running smoothly *and* sanely.

:-)

Thanks all for getting it. It's hard to explain to nevermo's like my husband why it enrages me so.
And yes we would have hired professional movers if mum hadn't ensured us that there would be helping hands.

It is infuriating how the church only takes and controls and gives nothing back. And the complete lack of taking responsibility for cock-ups. It's enough to bring out the beast in anyone

That’s inexcusable and horrible ! I hope that they stay away from her too. In a way, now that it’s over, you’re probably glad that they didn’t show up.Now she doesn’t “ owe “ them anything that they could keep rubbing in her face. They should be honouring the elderly.
They don’t like helping in this type of situation, but when the elderly person gets sick, they’ll be over all the time, the whole will thing.
I’d get a restraining order then, but I don’t know about the laws in the Netherlands.
Do they still move bigger furniture from the outside there, or are the hallways and doorways bigger in the newer houses?
I’m talking about in the big cities.

Good points, Hockeyrat.

Becca, keep an eye on them they don't try getting your mom to sign away everything she owns to them when she dies. They have a tendency to do that, based on horror stories shared here on RfM..

Good point. I will. Although she doesn't have much to leave them.

It still gets done with the narrow older houses in cities like Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Utrecht. Luckily mum didn't have a lot of huge stuff and we didn't have to resort to dangling furniture from ropes down the front of the house.. Hahaha. You do make a point. At least she doesn't owe them anything now..

In my experience TSCC is so much nicer in Europe. People are too far from the craziness of Utah. I'm sorry your mom a bad experience.

This might be a little off topic but if you need to move or help move some one else. You can rent a U-haul truck or trailer and most franchises have a list of people that you can hire to load on one end of the move and others to unload.

My neighbor just did this and it cost him $35/hour two people minimum, three hour minimum. He said it was the best and easiest $200 on both ends he ever experienced on a move.

Hire professional movers, it's cheaper in the long run.
A group of elders helped my friend move and they promptly dropped the box with her expensive crystal in it.

It's not hard to see why most Mormons don't want to get roped into moving someone on their 1 day off.
Besides, they may have been busy cleaning the meeting house.

It's unfortunate that so many members still pay tithes. They would be better off banking the money, so when they have an emergency the money is there for them to use it.

I'm glad to read the ideas here, because I have actually never moved without the LDS church! I have no idea how to. I hope that I will have enough money to pay people when the time comes. I don't have any relatives around except my husband, who is not in good shape. My daughter might be able to come, but we would still need outside help. The Mormons around here were very good at helping with moves. They screwed up a lot of other things, but they were great on our moving days.

Living in the morridor, I saw the Presbyterian church do more for every resident at a care facility; regardless of religion. The Mormon residents rarely had visiting teachers from their new ward and very few caring visiting teachers from their old ward would stop by. I NEVER saw home teachers. They also held a weekly Bible study, again open to all residents.

You know, I would gladly hire professionals to do a job like moving. But this cult proclaims to be about love and helping hands and looking out for each other.. And then when you count on them, they will never fail to disappoint you.

And then they will blame you for it and all!. I've told my mom that I will drive her to church if she wants to go, and she won't have to pay me.. I'll drop her off and go for a run in the time that she is at church.

Becca Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> But this cult proclaims to be
> about love and helping hands and looking out for
> each other.. And then when you count on them, they
> will never fail to disappoint you.

Truer words have never been written. Love, helping hands, looking out for one another are all parts of the great, touchy feely narrative of the Church that is seldom reality for most except perhaps the ward A-listers.