I tried to hold off after someone directed me to this...but I need to rant a little because this video from the LDS really makes me upset...a bit.

Okay, there's a MAJOR difference between their title and what the video is about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZoA9bAJUoo

There is a MAJOR difference between someone who watches pornography and someone who cheats.

If my ex had ONLY been into pornography...I could have dealt with that. I would have been okay.

That he cheated prolifically...yeah...not so okay....

They need to get their heads out of their collective...whatevers...and realize there is a MAJOR difference and equating those who watch pornography with those who cheat on their spouses only makes those who really did have their spouses cheat on them REALLY REALLY angry.

Well, sure.
Because watching a movie where someone gets murdered is exactly the same as murdering someone yourself.
Right?

:(

LOL! Americans are pretty uptight about porn. Mormons can't even think straight about it. You'd think they would since they consume a great deal of it.

Pornography is right up there with adultery in Mormonism.

"As a man thinketh, so is he," goes the saying.

If a man lusts after a woman in his heart, it's the same as committing. adultery. I don't know how many times I heard that growing up LDS.

because they are SO SPECIAL. In the name of cheese and rice ...

Not just because it is one state that has some of the highest use of Porn on the internet. There is a growing business based on convincing wives or parents that their husband or son is a "porn addict" and needs to be "treated". Books and articles, counseling, support groups,divorce lawyers. I spend part of my time in Utah and discovered that our neighbor's son had been labeled a porn addict and can't serve a mission until he completes a six month counseling program that on the surface sounded free, but actually ends up costing his parents a fair amount of money. Labeling a husband as a "porn addict" seems to be a way for many depressed LDS women to get out of bad marriages and save face ....it's all his fault, and there are plenty of people willing to help the process, and make a buck.

I've never liked the word, "cheating".

There are countless ways to cheat.

Marriage supposedly means your primary loyalty is to your spouse.

So what do you call it when you tell everyone about your husband's faults?

I say telling mom and family and friends and bishop and other members about your husband's pornography problem is a larger form of cheating than the pornography itself.

Which reminds me that the whole concept of marriage is a scam. Very little loyalty - we are in it for certain benefits, and when spouse isn't conforming to our demands, we shame or divorce or whatever it takes. They never were our primary love.

My TBM ex played the “you cheated on me” card as it relates to porn. While simultaneously putting LDS Corp as first priority.
Ironic that self righteous TBMs can’t figure out that if the standard of cheating is so loosely applied, the knife cuts both ways.
She cheated on me then as well....with JESUS!! XD XD

It's part of the scare and control tactics.

They miss the point on just about everything.

Like... the "sin next to murder"! Abortion. Masterbation. Missing a missing. Etc.

M@t

So, watching someone pay tithing is the same as actually paying tithing....interesting.

+1000!

+1001

My TBM sister takes it a step further. She won't touch chocolate because it might lead to coffee or tea.

Mormons tend to equate almost nothing with the worst sin imaginable. Why? Because it's a scare tactic which works with some of their denser followers.

As artificial as porn is, it can do the trick, do stimulate the brain. Long term use can affect a marriage or physical relationship I suppose.

While watching a video or looking at a picture isn't much different than masturbating and closing your eyes and thinking about the same naked imagery to get the job done.

Helpful when the sex mood isn't felt at the same exact time as your partner to have a bit of fun.

Hey honey, lets have a bit of fun..... snore / or I'm too tired, add excuse.


Pron. It's quick, and move on with your day. It's not even necessary at times. As much as woman may use the vibrator because fingers can't do the trick at times, porn helps both guys/girls to fill a void quickly. You could easily use your brain for your own fantasy pron too.

I'm right there with you. Obviously people who think that way haven't been in the position of finding out their spouse cheated...again. And especially had to go to the court-o-love with them and watch 15 horny old geezers get their jollies asking him all kinds of questions you don't want to have to know the answers to, just because they needed ALL the details in order to ascertain how repentant he is (trying to pretend to be).

Because if they had been there, they'd know you really just want to scream... "Can't you just watch porn?? Why the hell do you think God gave you two hands?!"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/08/2018 02:18PM by NormaRae.

My problem with porn is it objectifies women. In that way it's more about control and using someone as it is about sex.

I agree it is like cheating (not a bad of course and not a "sin") and worse it promotes using/abusing people just to satisfy your own ego. It lets the dark side of human nature out in full view.

perky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My problem with porn is it objectifies women. In
> that way it's more about control and using
> someone as it is about sex.

What about the men in porn?
Are they "objectified" too?

I don't know. about porn promoting objectification. I don't know.

But what I do know is, keeping people from projecting their old Aunt Irma now my hair's white on me, or projecting their grandma Joyce on me now my hair's white,
its like they are expecting me to be someone in their past with grey hair because that is what they see. They see, a person and recall a memory they attack to an identity belief opinion experience and then VOILA they attach it to me. That's called 'pro ject ing". Sometimes it can for work you (like when they hire you because they project an effective cute imagination on you) or against you (like when they attack a mean nagging rude hateful memory person on your label)

the question is who or what kinda label would you prefer, that someone stick on your forehead? since you might probably not be married to god * or a very immature version of her/him and they needs labels still lol
to remember what's going on ,whos who and what to do.

so you're a lover wife or husband, who would you like attached as a label or behavior type to you? saint mother Theresa? chastity sworn vowed? or a sex queen goodness goddess?

why do you think all those people wear ninja badges on their backpacks when they go to karate classes? well I know they're 9 years old, but still, its the idea that counts.

is like impossible- how do you get authenticity? where someone is here- like here- know you- not projecting a memory or an icon or an ideal or a scapegoated fear on to across YOU.

I don'tknow if you can (get some one to notice you, your identity exactly your history exactly- instead of project a stamp from their mind of vocabulary identified icons or archetypes and project it across time like on a little screen projector onto a partially steamed off stamp that says "you are ____this____ to me" with your name on it.

oh you can blame porn but I think its more about projection, even positive projections "good worker" "good driver" "strong" not just negative projections "racist epitah idea" "you remind me of someone I didn't like" the way that people think when they see or relate with you.

Now oh about porn. If, you like the way someone (especially say like a husband) you care about is acting when they are attracted to you. why wouldn't you, want them to imagine you or imagine a porn including you? Well why wouldn't you appreciate it? If something or someone on his mind made him playful or kind or attentive or something whatever why would you care? He's there. I mean I'm not getting it.

oh wait- maybe, the lady who says that porn is making someone cheat by looking- is actually saying they do not want their spouse to be taking attention to them physically, they actually do not want to either think of themselves sexually or as sexy partner, nor do they feel happy when they have a partner who sees them in a sexualized fabulously attractive appealing participative way, it either frightens or offends them because > uh? I dk. tangled loops of wants and needs interfered with culturally & religiously directed/misdirected s o unable to make the transaction ie buy into that being cool is fun, sex for him, is fun, sex for you is fun especially when he sees you as fun for sex with him instead of oh GEE WHIZ fighting again. hmm.

Its like between partners Mormons are probably taught or misdirected so some are tangled, tantalized with being gorgeous wanted wanting, some are disentangled horrified of wanting being gorgeous be wanted. RELIGIOUS its a MESS isn't it! What a fun mess to untangle! Think like silk the finest silk yarn, gorgeousness and worth the effort. oh and wear the super girl ninja gorgeous label when your partner projects it on you if he offers to instead of the 99 years old projection ugly ugly fear of life and living it up label or depressed walnut projection sad tired when I look at you label or always taking the car leaving him to swallow dust resentment label. Take the porn label. DANCE

If I could speak to my twenty something temple card carrying self, on this very topic: "Kris was right. The people that ran her bishop's court were Mormons/ moronic. Institute director Brother X was wrong. Buy the massage book in the university book store. Read the joy of sex. no your husband won't mind he doesn't mind seeing models without their garments. yes its worth it. You're worth it. Receive the love you know how to be love. Don't worry about what (your partner is thinking about) he thinks you're attractive and wants to be with you. oh and its impossible to think too much the bishop was wrong when he said you think too much, probably didn't want you returning to school, that's a shaming and control tactic by Bishop Z in Paradise X Ward. Screw that bishop ___, the bishop's selling his business and leaving the state soon anyways so Don't do another thing trying to impress him he's a dog. Love ya!"
Oh if only I were so highly skilled in remote viewing psychic deal I could send this message back- it'd change herstory


oh and DANCE

Depending on what kind of porn you watch. If it is just 2 people having sex, I don't see that as objectifying anyone, I will say the ones where both parties are gorgeous and in perfect shape or if the "action" is to scripted/perfect, the viewer may have unrealistic expectations of what they really get in real life...man that was hard to write....couldn't get the words out.

I would much prefer to have someone watch porn over cheating on me. My ex cheated on me with MANY MEN.

So when my nonmo boyfriend came back into my life and he mentioned picking up a Playboy (before they took the naked pictures out I guess--did they?) on his business trip, I had to take a step back and think "Now which would I prefer?" For one, I'm glad it was a Playboy and not a Playgirl, AND as long as he wasn't having sex with someone else, I didn't care.

They get too caught up in the idea of what is equal to.

I'm actually rather surprised by the fact that ALL my TBM daughter's mormon boyfriends have looked at porn since there is such a stigma in the church. One of them ended up not going on his mission because of porn and masturbation. He was a mess because he felt so bad about himself. He left the church, got his Master's, and works for the government, and is doing great. ONCE HE LEFT THE CHURCH. I know he is the one she'd like to marry and he is still interested, but, of course, she can't.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/09/2018 01:06PM by cl2.

"I'm actually rather surprised by the fact that ALL my TBM daughter's mormon boyfriends have looked at porn since there is such a stigma in the church. One of them ended up not going on his mission because of porn and masturbation. He was a mess because he felt so bad about himself. He left the church, got his Master's, and works for the government, and is doing great. ONCE HE LEFT THE CHURCH. I know he is the one she'd like to marry and he is still interested, but, of course, she can't."

What a damn shame...Glad he broke free, but too bad the twisted thinking is keeping your daughter from potential happiness.

I'm going with the 'watching someone pay tithing' analogy, as long as I get the tax deduction...

just sayin'

How are we defining Porn? At one time or another most guys have looked a photo or video of porn. IMHO, that's not really an issue and probably just experiencing life as they grow older. The Porn becomes a problem when it becomes obsessive and there are plenty of studies that confirm this. Comparing this to cheating is missing the point, YOU have problems and if you're married, it's a bigger problem.

On a side note, I retired from High Tech and worked on computer systems for porn companies during my career. I was shocked how big a business porn is. And yes, a lot of network addresses are from Utah.

Porn is pretty high tech and some of the 1st to take risks in new implementations of data storage, streaming, high volume traffic network equipment etc. Dare I say, bleeding edge.