I finally figured it out, i didn't really care so much about the truthfulness of the religion (although that does matter to me now), it was more about the behavior of the leaders i had a problem with. Like i said i wasn't even sure the church was false for sure until a couple years ago. I have always wanted revenge ever since a leader laid hands on me twenty years ago but just never knew how to do it, he was a part of god's true church after all and my father didn't do sh#t to defend me once he found out, it was f#cking bullsh#t. Both my parents turned on me and chose the leader and the church's side. It was f#cking war from that point forward in my mind but i never knew how to bring the whole thing down but now it seems like only a child's dream to take down god's church which is not even his church which makes it even worse. I wanted to take down a fake church the entire f#cking time. The only way to win though is to stop the constant money flow they get from the followers, mormon leaders only care when money is at stake that much i know. Stop the money and stop the church, or is there a better way? But anyways I know I can't hate old guys forever though, i am becoming one now. They are not all the same. Some are good like the boner. But some are bad like in the church. Anyways i just had to decifer what my real issue is among many. The leaders is what it was always about because they made it personal. And when i saw my full name on an email from quit mormon saying my resignation was sent in it was a beautiful thing. It was almost like those old f#cking b@stard "apostles" will finally have to acknowledge my f#cking existence now. They will never see a dime go from me to them ever again. F#cking b@stards.