Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: Nottelling ( )
Date: February 11, 2018 11:21PM

My female mind would like to know if it is common for men to have romantic fantasies, and I would love some examples. I wonder if they are similar to what women find romantic or if they all involve just sex, and physical beauty? I know men are more visual than women, and I know some men have romantic fantasies, but I am wondering how common it is.

Like for instance, do you believe in soul mates, do you fantasize about a future with someone, non sexual romance such as sunsets, walks on beach, intimate talks of revealing your deepest secrets, finding similarities in others that is coincidental and then thinking about being together, maybe looking alike. Those are some of mine that have happened to me in my lifetime, and I guess many women think like this, but do men??

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: paisley70 ( )
Date: February 11, 2018 11:41PM

There is nothing that involves beauty or sex in my wet dream. Mine is simple. To find someone that understands Federal Reserve policy, the influence of bond yields on the Dow, or the impact of QE on the economy and markets. The bonus would be to find someone actively shorting the Dow as this market collapses and for her to name the new Federal Reserve chairman without coaxing. It sounds like a unicorn to me. I am, after all, attracted to intelligence over looks.

Thank goodness for me, however, I get to stay with my loving wife! I wouldn't want to be conflicted in my marriage chasing after someone who doesn't exist. Yellen just does not have that joie de vivre (ick).

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: smirkorama ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 02:40AM

paisley70 Wrote:
> There is nothing that involves beauty or sex in my
> wet dream.

OK, that was funny ....kind of. But it was definitely wholesale
misdirection because by definition a wet dream definitely DOES have a sexual basis.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: GregS ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 09:48AM

My dad often said the thing he loved most about my mom was that she thought like a man.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: PollyDee ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 01:12PM

1. Fedreal Reserve Policy -the actions the Fed takes in pursuit of price stability, maximum employment and moderate long-term interest rates through a.) open market operations in an effort to influence the amount of reserves in the banking system and to affect the federal funds rate. b.) setting the discount rate on short term loans banks borrow from the Federal Reserve, and c.) and setting reserve requirements on banks.

2.Bond yields influence the stock market in different ways at different times. When the economy is healthy, rising interest rates and bond yields are bullish for stocks, as it implies an increase in the return that investors are seeking for their money. When the economy is not healthy, falling interest rates are bullish for stocks as it is stimulative for assets. Interest rates are the largest variable in determining bond yields.During periods of economic expansion, bonds and the stock market trade inversely as they are competing for capital. 

3.I am not actively shorting the Dow, but closed long positions shortly before the current "correction".

4. Jerome Powell

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: PollyDee ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 01:18PM

And - although I don't want to appear vain - I'm also nice looking and physically fit. DH says I'm beautiful! :)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: PollyDee ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 01:29PM

Oh, I forgot QE effect on the economy and markets. Short version - we don't really know yet, as the Fed''s easy money policy has never been done before. There are competing theories ranging from economic disaster to woo-hoo! I guess we will find out soon enough.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: paisley70 ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 05:09PM


I knew that if I went fishing, I'd find someone out there like you. Interesting.

Inflationary pressures right now put the bond yield and stocks into a "tug-of-war" - a competition for cash. This is the conundrum at the moment. As you had alluded to.

"During periods of economic expansion, bonds and the stock market trade inversely as they are competing for capital".

This rout will continue.

Your husband is a lucky man. Thank-you for your reply.



Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: February 13, 2018 01:16AM

For me it's grammar and punctuation. Sexiness is a woman who never fails to use the Oxford Comma, and knows her way around a semi-colon.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: February 13, 2018 11:05AM

Haha. I hear ya. Give me a man who knows exactly where to put it and I surrender myself completely. I'm talking about the comma, of course--inside or outside of the quotation marks.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: February 20, 2018 10:55PM

Ooh. My kind of.woman, then.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: February 20, 2018 10:59PM

My phone often puts in unwanted punctuation. I must replace it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: February 11, 2018 11:56PM

The problem is that men's romantic yearnings may 1) be more temporary than women's, and 2) combine with romantic and/or purely sexual interests (fantasies + behavior) with more than one female, simultaneously or in sequence.

Men's breakup from a relationship tends to be much more traumatic emotionally than women's, as I understand it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: February 11, 2018 11:58PM

But I learn something every day: economists have a sense of humor!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 10:26AM

Bueller? Bueller?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: verdacht ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 12:39AM

Yes we do. But it's kind of a secret.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: smirkorama ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 02:43AM

I know! Go ahead to open a can of worms with this topic!!! a can about the size of a 55 gallon drum .....or an oil tanker.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: olderelder ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 02:44AM

I've been having romantic dreams lately, but the dreams go swerving of in another direction. It pisses me off.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 02:55AM

My romantic dreams are beautiful, vivid images of a family reconciliation after a vicious & deceitful divorce my wife did ... Because (her statement) "he stopped going to church".

As I've posted before, her hate & lies were endorsed, approved, excused by tscc.

So YES, I have romantic dreams!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 03:07AM

Many men also have romantic realities.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 10:25AM

Yes. This. So many people are stuck with some fantasy version of romance that they wouldn't know real romance if it hit them smack in the face like a frying pan.

I personally don't go for the Disney version.

I'll tell you what is romantic: Some one who chooses their spouse over the Mormon church, not a walk on the breach at sunset.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: oneinbillions ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 03:19AM

I used to be a hopeless romantic; I loved most of the cliches like sunsets, walks along the beach, intimate talks and all of that. And I say hopeless because I could never find a woman who actually reciprocated my interest.

Following my first relationship, though, I changed my mind on a lot of stuff. I guess I still like most of the romantic cliches but I have zero interest in ever getting married. I definitely don't believe in "soul mates" or even that there is someone for everyone out there. Call me jaded but I think relationships are way too much effort for little to no gain, and most of them involve far too much drama for my taste. But then I'm a loner; I prefer to spend most of my time alone and actually enjoy the solitude. I know most people are different.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lover of music and poetry ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 04:56AM

There must be two in billions, because I'm like "Oneinbillions."

Romance, dating, excitement, hoping, making plans dancing and partying with a partner, getting engaged a couple of times, getting married twice, fathering children, having a house by the ocean and a cabin on a lake, skiing in the moonlight, travelling through Europe--all my romantic dreams came true.

But they didn't last. Still, I have managed to keep most of the good stuff, and do away with the drama, and the Mormon church.

I'm divorced and single, and never want to date or get married again. If romance involves loved ones, I enjoy the company of wonderful children and grandchildren, and man friends. I love a lot of people, just NOT a wife or girlfriend. I still thrill at the beauty of a sunset, the smell of damp grass on the golf course early in the morning, all the glories of nature. I love the ocean and the mountains. The happiness of life, and my hobbies and interests give me a sense of romance, whether these things are shared with others, or enjoyed alone.

Solitude is underrated!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: baura ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 04:42AM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Trails end ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 06:28AM

It took years to figure out...that romance is just a five dollar word for drama....HATE drama!!'s never simple...and your gonna lose...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 09:08AM

Men aren't all the same.
So even without many specifics, I feel safe in answering that some men do, some men don't. And that some women do, and some women don't.

Me personally...sure, upon meeting someone new, I've engaged in that kind of fantasizing. It usually also included sex of various kinds, not only "romance."

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 10:58AM

I've never met a man who read them. But some men I know do like to see an occasional romantic movie. They're called "chick flicks" because most women like them better than most men.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: messyone ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 12:01PM

As others have said, it’s very much an individual personality trait. Some men are super romantic and others are not. My hub has always been more romantic than I am. He believes in true love, soul mates, and things being meant to be. Of course, he also has sexual fantasies that sometimes involve me and sometimes don’t.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Atari ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 12:06PM

I am a man and I do appreciate romance. Do I fantasize about it? Not really, unless it leads to sex.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 12:35PM

Yes, mine started in the first grade.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 01:15PM

I wanted to marry Sue the 8th grade. I'm an only child and I had a big bedroom, with a big walk-in closet, so my fantasy included her study desk placement, and giving her one side of the closet.

I built this pleasant fantasy without her having the slightest idea of what was going on in my head...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 05:29PM

I had something similar. Me and my love forced to live together until she loved me.

Oh, the pains of unrequited love.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Romanticmale ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 12:54PM

I have a fantasy of arranging a flash-mob to assist a marriage proposal. My lady and I are walking at night, past a fountain; a small child runs up, gives her a flower, giggles, runs away. Two from the crowd start a pied-a-deux, and someone pulls out a violin, providing a melody. Within moments, my lady and I are surrounded by couples dancing something like a waltz-- we are in the center. An alto sitting on the edge of the fountain begins to sing. A kid on a skateboard rolls through, tossing me a small box. The music and the dance fade, and we find ourselves in a circle of privacy-- all the dancers are facing away as I show her what's in the box...

Howzzat for a romantic fantasy?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: PollyDee ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 01:49PM

Wow! Fantastically romantic!

Caution: public proposals can be tricky - be damn sure she's going to say yes!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: blind mule ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 02:34PM

yes, they are usually found in the penthouse letters (grin)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: February 12, 2018 02:41PM

Yup. Since I was about 11.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: February 13, 2018 01:05AM

"Modern love is your partner calling out “I responded to your email” from the next room." -- Eve Ewing

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: February 13, 2018 03:40AM

Some are hopeless romantics.
Some are romantic. Others are just hopeless. Some just fantasize. Your mileage may vary. I just keep going and going and going.


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: PDX ( )
Date: February 13, 2018 11:10PM

I'm married and I think my wife and I have grown much closer over the years. One reason why is that we are not pretentious - we like simple things and straight forward, honest people. We have lost some other couples friendships over the years because of needless drama and competitiveness. We don't need that and would rather spend time with ourselves than waste time with people who are always trying to impress other people with their wealth and achievements. By the way, did I mention that we have very few Republican friends? Well, if you are reading the above closely maybe you can figure out why.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: February 14, 2018 03:32PM

Like Pdx, keeping it [Real] SIMPLE!


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Dennis the Menace ( )
Date: February 20, 2018 10:32PM

Yes men do... but it's more macho to deny it. Men imagine successful dates, marriage, children & the other person loving them... it's not just humping although that is quite prominent.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: logan ( )
Date: February 21, 2018 10:45AM

"I know men are more visual than women"

Try telling that to the "ugly" guys who cannot get a date.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Pooped ( )
Date: February 21, 2018 11:44AM

I have a friend who was, at the time, the youngest PhD. to graduate from Stanford Univ. in his field. He's one of the brightest guys I know. He's got a great pension and stock portfolio. He looks ten years younger than his age and is handsome. He's on wife number three. His current wife is the least educated, least healthy, dumbest, and most boring of the three. Number two was a few bricks short of a load and he knew it when he married her. I never met number one but she apparently married him to get a green card and then stayed in Palo Alto after he left to begin his career. The two wives I've seen have a sexy appearance, which he prefers in women. He divorced his wives. They didn't leave him. Number one took no money. They had a no fault divorce. Number two took a bundle. Number three is unhealthy but looks good and has two deadbeat sons that treat her awful unless she gives them money of which she has very little of her own. She also drinks heavily. He doesn't drink at all. And he's not physically or mentally abusive to his wives.

What's this guy's romantic fantasy? I tend to think he likes needy women. Brains, health, education, sincerity, and sanity seem to have no part of his fantasy. As long as they look good on his arm and need him and his money (and sleep with him) he's happy. When they no longer need him and refuse to sleep or talk to him, he's not so happy. Neediness is no guarantee of happiness guys.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: EXON46 ( )
Date: February 21, 2018 11:48AM

For me yes. PDA, rose pedals, little white kittens and baby bunnies, bubble bath, sand between my toes, full supper moon, waves crashing. leading me by my hand, nibbling my ear. eating chicken off my chest, kissing me hard, hand cuffing me to the bed, etc.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Pharmakos ( )
Date: February 21, 2018 12:35PM

Yup. I am a 40 year old male. Never been into any relationship. Dated a couple of time. Last time was 8 years ago. The only thing I dream of is meeting someone that can accept my predicament in life and love me for who I am. Unemployed since 2012, broke, have not bank account, debt-free, living with my parents, no friends, no car, have not travelled abroad since year 1999.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: anonandanon ( )
Date: February 21, 2018 12:42PM

Have I got the gal for you! My sister fits your description of yourself to the T! The only difference between you two is that she has a subsidized apartment through the state (you could move out of your parent's home or she could move in with you) and she has never traveled abroad.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Pharmakos ( )
Date: February 21, 2018 01:07PM

Sounds great! Happy to know there are women out there in the same predicament. Glad she got assistance so that she can build and live a life on her own. I do not live in the US but my papers are out of order here in my home country and everyone is equal before the law so the state over here can not help me. But the administrators are very nice to me handling my case but the law is the law. I am a Lutheran Christian with a love for living in semi-solitude and spending time with my relatives. Ended up on this site because I felt that the people here are great observers of life and good at sorting out contradictions. I Always learn something new on this forum.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Just the facts ma'am ( )
Date: February 21, 2018 07:49PM

I believe literature, movies and porn are reliable guides to the minds of men. The romance for men is mainly about power and receiving adoration, but it is ok if some romantic work must be done to achieve it. But porn rarely involves much romance. The best you can hope for might be 80-20 with the 20 being romance as you conceive it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: corallus ( )
Date: February 22, 2018 04:47PM

I'm 46 and my views have changed a lot over the years. When younger it was very hard to get out of the sex drive. I think that's just natural for many men. Intimacy = sex.

Now it's different - sex is enjoyable, but I'm finding what I yearn for most is shared enthusiasm (compatibility).

My 21 year old son was talking about wanting to "live off the grid" out in the middle of nowhere. I told him that, assuming he didn't want to do it alone, he'd need to find a special kind of woman who would need to be as enthusiastic about it as he was.

This wasn't that long ago, and when I said it to him I realized this is what my fantasies had evolved to, finding someone whose loves and interests and whims were aligned with my own.

I've spent too long in a marriage where we have almost nothing in common and never had. Someday....once I've finished providing an intact home for my kids.

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In

Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
  *******   ********  **     **  **    **  **    ** 
 **     **  **        ***   ***  **   **    **  **  
 **         **        **** ****  **  **      ****   
 ********   ******    ** *** **  *****        **    
 **     **  **        **     **  **  **       **    
 **     **  **        **     **  **   **      **    
  *******   ********  **     **  **    **     **