Posted by:
Mother Who Knows
(
)
Date: March 01, 2018 04:14PM
I'm sorry you were bullied. It is always horrible.
Bullies aren't always strangers, though, lurking in the outside world, waiting to jump on you out of nowhere.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but the WORST bullying of my life, and my children's lives, came from Mormons.
My oversized older brother (6 years older) was the neighborhood bully. My parents had no control over him, were in denial, and didn't rescue me from his continual assaults. He hurt me physically, tortured me, broke my toys, scared away my friends, made every family holiday and vacation a living Hell. My brother was king of the household, and I was a puny little "nothing."
So, I escaped into the world! Our California neighborhood was not Mormon, and I got to know my friends' families--normal, happy Christian, Jewish, or whatever families. Religion and race made no difference. Kindness and love was to be found in those households.
School was my refuge. I would stay late for after-school sports, science club, studying, music, cheerleading practice--any excuse I would find. I would go home by way of the library, and stay until just before dark. I liked my teachers, who treated me like a human being. I was in advanced classes. I accompanied the school choir, and sang in smaller groups, around the community and hospitals, etc. I was a candy-striper.
My children were bullied by the Mormon leaders in the ward--I've told their stories before--serious physical battering! Those fathers beat their own children, also. Utah seemed like a crazy place, to me, and the bishop's daughter brought a loaded gun to school, and was suspended for only a week, because her father was wealthy and powerful in the community. In Utah, abusers go unpunished, and they just lie about everything, and they threaten the witnesses to lie, too.
I was bullied at BYU, but still had more friends than enemies, and I did have some "power" in student government, and being friends with some big, strong football players, who actually saved me from being raped, when I was at the dorm mailboxes. My Mormon returned mission (LMRM) roommate stole money, my graduation watch, and clothes from me. We had to have assigned roommates, our first semester. She gossiped and bullied other girls on our floor, and I spoke up in their defense, which those older TMB self-righteous girls did not like.
Later, after my parents died, I was the victim of Mormon affinity fraud, as my Mormon bishopric nephew stole money from my parent's estate, and from a family business.
Luckily, there are a lot of people in the world outside of Mormonism who will be your friends and accept you, even if you are "different." My children got through it, too, as their non-Mormon peers, family, and teachers liked and respected them. My kids didn't rebel or act out, like the Mormon kids did. They were confident, and loving, and had nothing to prove. It was "live and let-live", and they were busy with sports, after-school and weekend jobs, and just plain fun. Our house was always full of kid friends, coming and going.
It is a sad commentary, indeed, but bullying experiences can help you turn things around, and help you to cope with the tough, rat-race career world. (Don't get me wrong--there are healthier ways to learn this!) I'm grateful that I'm tough enough to have a good career, and could support my little children, when they needed me, when their TBM father abandoned us.
My brother's bullying left me with PTSD, however, and that has been like a black cloud over my life, all my life, and always will be, but because of therapy, I can manage it.
I wonder if you might have PTSD, to some extent--especially if you were raised in the Mormon cult. It's worth finding out! A good therapist can help you a great deal.