They are a silent minority in the church today. Marginalized, often overlooked, and sadly passed over.
We live in a youth culture. That permeates LDS culture as well, I noticed while I was still attending.
One reason I love attending where I do is that older members are treated with dignity and respect, and as long standing, equal members in the religious community.
It makes a huge difference in having that sense of community and continuity between the generations.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/03/2018 08:10AM by Amyjo.
Amyjo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We live in a youth culture. That permeates LDS > culture as well,
I see Mormonism as more of a reproduction and indoctrination culture. Those beyond reproductive age or outside realm of Mormonism's authorized reproductive relationship don't have a place other than as tithe payers and servants to the breeding classes.
The Mormon church is so focused on (heterosexual) marriage that members who are persistently single, divorced, widowed, or LGBTQ tend to be marginalized. A kinder church would figure out how to be more inclusive. Instead, Mormons who do not fit the norm are relegated to the back row of seats or squeezed out altogether.
The church is definitely not “user friendly” when it comes to Seniors. They are continually locked into the “One rule fits All” mind set, especially towards senior women and even more so if she is Disabled or dealing with a chronic illness. Boy you should have heard the tongues wag when one sister was seen eating in between Meetings on fast Sunday. No one bothered to find out that she was diabetic. Then there is the sister who uses a walker and gets dirty looks for wearing pants to church because she had to Trudge through snow with that walker to get there Both senior men and women are very often tied to medications that Require them to practically run to the bathroom and they often Have to make a very hasty retreat no matter what is going on. Lots of seniors struggle just trying to get their garbage to the curb or even to the cans. Shoveling snow, Shopping and dr appointments are always a challenge especially during winter months.
I find some Mormons always to be so busy doing church work that They shut down when something out of the ordinary interferes with Whatever their agenda dictates. Seniors often have unplanned emergencies, it sometimes takes them longer to accomplish a task. They no longer have the financial resources that they once enjoyed.
Years ago the Relief society sisters got together once a month For a meal and for some of the senior sisters it was their only Opportunity to be around church women in a social setting. Well The church got rid of that.
My stake has (had?) a 'singles' ward. They often have dances, and dinner together, and so forth. One of my sons met his (now) wife at an outing for these folks to Disneyland.
Still, one must be aware of the appearance, vs. the reality as to their true character.
If a widow or widower doesn't want to remarry, invites to older single adult events are a problem. Then, they're sometimes seen as a burden if they have a disability or chronic illness where they're unable to drive themselves around, so getting to doctor's appointments and even church can be an issue for them and they have no family nearby that's available to drive them.
My grandfather-in-law went to be a temple worker to meet old women to marry. One would die and he would find another at the temple. He outlived 4 of them!
I have heard from several sources that Catholic Social services is a good option for Seniors who need extra help along with encouragement to be as self managing as possible. I would be interested in hearing about them as their slogan includes the word dignity; something that is not always easy to find these days.
Nope. Not a thing other than what they can give in $$$ as well as what they are physically able to do. And you have people, like my parents, who spent close to 60 years building the ward up, giving tons (way more than 10%) of their money to the church until it left them with nothing in retirement, who helped countless kids on their missions, who held high church callings that came before their family, and who are pretty much forgotten now that they physically can't really be there much. They have outlived almost all the early movers and shakers of the ward and those people's kids and grandkids are in leadership now. I think the only reason the ward acknowledges my parents is because one of their kids, my brother, is still in the ward and he and his wife have held high positions (bishop, RSpres) and raised their kids there.
And being a single person, who is not a senior, in a family ward is a joke. Been there--luckily got out there. They put up with you, especially if you have any kids that they need. But you are a second class citizen and you feel that all the time. I think they accept you more if they think you DON'T have a possibility of remarrying. But if they think you do, they push you into icky singles activities, push every weirdass unmarried guy onto you, and don't want you teaching the kids or godforbid the young women who might see that you are happy being single and supporting yourself.
I laugh sometimes thinking about how my current church (UU) would die out if they treated singles, gays and seniors the way the mormon church does. And I tend to get roped into so many things and too much leadership that I long for the days when I had to wait to be "called" before I could volunteer. But, of course, wouldn't trade it for all the wine in France.