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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 09, 2018 01:21PM

In a white desert temple, with new underwear
Warm smell of colitis, rising up through the air
Up ahead at the altar, I saw a disturbing fright
My heart grew heavy and my fight grew dim
I had to give up my right.
There he stood in the doorway;
I had to stand at the veil
And I was thinking to myself
'This could be heavenly father, or it could be Mel'
Then he threw up a code word and he showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel of Boredom
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Such a lovely race.
Plenty of room at the Hotel of Boredom
Any time of year (any time of year) you can find it here
My clothes were toga-twisted, I got the Mormon friends
I got a lot of shitty, shitty old boys, that I call friends
How they drone in the chapel, sweet Mormon whit
Some drone to remember, some drone to forget
So I called up the Bishop,
'Please hear my whine'
He said, 'We haven't had the spirit here since nineteen sixty-nine'
And then dead voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say"
Welcome to the Hotel of Boredom
Such a lovely farce (such a lovely farce)
Such a lovely arse.
They’re giving up cash for their Hotel of Boredom
What a bunch of lies (what a bunch of lies), bring your rabbis
Minors at the sealing,
The pink gods seem nice
And I said, 'we are all just prisoners here, for a heavenly vice’
And with their patron’s worst fears,
They gather for a feat
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't change the meat
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
'Relax' said a temple worker,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like,
But you can never leave!'

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: March 09, 2018 01:24PM

Nice

One observation

But you can never leave.....

Ever try to meditate in the celestial room?

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 09, 2018 01:27PM

Heartless Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ever try to meditate in the celestial room?

Good point. Once endowed you can never leave Mormonism.

Mormonism isn't about meditations. They are all about assimilations.

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Posted by: slskipper ( )
Date: March 09, 2018 01:31PM

Excellent.

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: March 09, 2018 01:42PM

Colitis--yuck! But ancient temple workers? I believe it.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 09, 2018 02:53PM

Mormon diets even with their Word of Wisdom.

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: March 09, 2018 03:33PM

Nice.

Tap, Tap, Tap
What is wanted?

I got what I wanted. I left without checking out.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 09, 2018 04:42PM

Well, the Celestial Rooms do look like Hotel lobbies.

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Posted by: exminion ( )
Date: March 10, 2018 03:08PM

Oh Yeah, Elder Berry!

This absolutely fits! Thanks--I love this!

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Posted by: Jersey Girl ( )
Date: March 10, 2018 09:30PM

Great work! Cricket should showcase this one.

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Posted by: sunbeep ( )
Date: March 10, 2018 09:34PM

Thanks for posting this amusing version. Now I gotta to kill a couple of hours on U-Tube as this is one of my favorite little ditties.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: March 10, 2018 09:52PM

Outstanding, Elder!

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 01:00PM

Thanks all of you. I wonder if anyone else has done something like this? It is an obvious song for being stuck in a "hotel" "forever" ala Mormon temples.

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 03:01PM

Up next: 'Life in the Fasting Lane', 'Green Jell-O Sunrise', 'Life's Endured To Me So Far', 'The Boys of GC', 'The Disco Shoulder', 'Lyin' Tithes', 'Take It MTC'...

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 02:28PM

Oh, gosh. Those are such fertile lyrical ground.

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 07:49PM

in b 4 ~ this could be a big hit if OPie put it to music ~

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 02:29PM

Maybe Weird Alma could do it?

https://weirdalma.bandcamp.com/

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Posted by: Hockeyrat ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 07:42PM

That’s good ! I didn’t even recognize it , until I got to the part “ Plenty of room” . The temple , especially the celestial room, reminds me of the movie “ The Shining”, since in the mirrors , it goes on forever and ever, and ever.
I can see the fonts overflowing with water, instead of blood.
Some temples like the one in SLC seem scary on the outside.
The DC one is neat though; you see it for miles before you get even near it, then it changes directions.
One minute, it looks like it’s on the right, then all of a sudden, it’s on the left side.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 14, 2018 01:47PM

Hockeyrat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Some temples like the one in SLC seem scary on
> the outside.

It is a Neogothic edifice designed to instill the authority and honors of a cathedral. Brigham had more delusions of grandeur than Joseph if that is possible.

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