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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 02:32PM

Obviously this theme suggested itself upon reading RfMer Gheco's message that he is writing his, because he is facing a serious surgery.

I had never considered the content of my obituary. Having now given it minimal consideration, I think I would pen a very minimalist obit, something like:


Thanks, Saucie!"

Got any notions as to what you would write if you were in charge of "obit'ing" yourself?

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Posted by: saucie (nli) ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 02:37PM

HOw funny. Mine would say the same thing.

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Posted by: Curelom Joe ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 02:44PM

Lord Byron wrote an epitaph for Lord Castlereagh, a British statesman whom he had despised for political reasons:

Posterity shall ne'er survey
A nobler grave than this;
Here lie the bones of Castlereigh--
Stop, traveler! and piss.

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Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 02:29AM

I wonder how they keep a uniform shade of green on Old Joe’s plot.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 02:46PM

All dressed up and no place to go.

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 03:31PM

I've done some advance planning too. I've had some major health issues too. I also saw what a mess it was when my ex died suddenly. I haven't written out word for word, but I've given my adult children a broad outline of things to consider in my obit. I have also paid for my funeral and plan to get a headstone installed on my cemetery plot. It will save my family a lot of time, money and arguing.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 03:40PM

I already own the cemetery plot where I'll be buried. Still need to get a monument in place there, and a replacement one for my siblings who died in early childhood.

My son tells me to write everything down because he won't remember any of the details when the time comes. So I'll try to do as much pre-planning as possible not to leave it all up to him.

My mom and step-dad pre-paid (and pre-planned) both of their funerals. Smart move on their part.

Although my TBM brothers wrote my mother's obituary, and it was a work of fiction. There wasn't anything in it that remotely resembled my mother or her life. You'd think they knew her better than that. She never brought home stray puppies lol. That was me. Then I'd have to find them a home as soon as they came through the door.

Mom brought home lots of exotic animals and purebred pedigreed dogs. But the only time she tried picking up some wildlife was some swans swimming on a lake. She had my dad stop the car so she could chase them and try to bag a couple to take home with us. For some "odd" reason the swans were faster than mom was. Dad had to go after mom and haul her back to the car - she went pretty far in to the marshy area for those swans that were well endowed with wings and able to fly.

My uncle laughed when I shared that story. He said that was the difference between him and his sister. He'd have known to just take pictures of the pretty swans. Whereas my mom really believed she was going to catch a couple or more to bring home in the family sedan that day. Silly her.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 08:17PM

If you want something done right you (usually) have to do it yourself -before you die.

"He did something before he died (he lived) and he'll do something before he lives - to sin - again and again and again".

Something like that (or completely different)


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Posted by: abby ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 08:19PM

As short as possible. Parents, siblings, spouse, and children listed. Birth and death date. Marriage date with no mention of it being a temple wedding. Nothing else. Leave them wondering.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/11/2018 08:20PM by abby.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 08:21PM

I gave it some thought as I was writing my wife's almost 5 months ago...but haven't delved into it any further. I know people who have written their own but I think those you leave behind should have some input too. JMHO.

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Posted by: StillAnon ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 08:31PM

"He was the best guy. Some people say better than Jesus. He was so popular, maybe the most popular guy ever. He was so smart. And stable. Most people think he was a stable genius.He won all the time. Bigly. He was loved-by all. Nobody was loved more than anybody. No one was more generous. Yugely generous. Some people are saying he was on the verge of curing cancer. I'm hearing that he was working on ending world hunger. Just a really, really, great guy. There will never be another yugely great guy like him. Ever!"

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 09:42PM

I could tell that was straight from the heart!

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Posted by: cl2notloggedin ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 08:37PM

I've told my kids who is allowed at the graveside when they are ready to bury me. I've told them what goes in the casket with me and what to dress me in.

My boyfriend's dad died 2 years ago. He was 92. He fought in WWII and lived a great life. He was cremated and when his wife dies, she will be cremated and my boyfriend and 2 of his siblings have been told where the spread the ashes. They had a big family party for him. I thought that was great.

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Posted by: cl2notloggedin ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 08:38PM

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Posted by: jay ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 10:00PM

I’ve been writing it every day in my head for decades. Then I get to work on the content. Write. Repeat.

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Posted by: Nottelling ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 12:45AM

I told you I was sick.

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Posted by: Nottelling ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 12:47AM

or.....See I am not a hypochondriac.

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 03:16AM

There was an obit written by the deceased herself. It was very well done, full of life and joy, and ending with "I'm only sorry to leave so soon."

I found it very touching.

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Posted by: sbg ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 12:41PM

I arrived, I saw, I departed

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 01:49PM

Right you own; you won't get it Wrong.


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/12/2018 03:15PM by moremany.

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Posted by: Jimbo ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 06:46PM

I hate funerals. Not going to have one. Not going to have an obit Just cremation and that is all .If family amd friends want a small get together and have a few beers and some food and talk thats cool but the last freaking thing I want is bagpipes playing Amazing Grace and some preacher type talking about Jesus. No way.

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Posted by: Mother Who Knows ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 07:58PM

Yes, I like the idea of my obituary being written by someone I love and trust, who knows me best--my self.

I also own several grave sites--enough for me and my children and their spouses--and have already paid for my funeral expenses, coffin, etc. I don't want a funeral, but would like a "wake" with just family and close friends, at my house or one of my children's houses. I want my children to invite only those who will give them comfort and love. The party will be for my children.

However, Heaven will belong to me, and I have forbidden any Mormon prayers or preaching. Christianity or other stuff is fine. Mormons can talk, just like everyone else, if they promise to be normal, just like everyone else. I trust my sons to quickly put a stop to any Mormon mumbo-jumbo.

....Oh, now I'm having second thoughts about including any Mormons at all...

...Maybe I just won't die. That will keep them from messing things up.

Obituaries published in the newspaper are quite expensive, so I might not have one, and no photo. The people who care about me won't need to be publicly informed of my death. They will know.

At the GA Mormon Royalty family reunion. "What ever happened to Cousin MotherWhoKnows?"

"She left the church 30 years ago."

They won't care to know anything else.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 08:13PM

I own several grave sites also, by default.

My parents bought enough for our then large family for when we all died - someday.

Then they divorced, and are today buried next to their respective spouses elsewhere.

The remaining six plots left in the family cemetery site were gobbled up by zoning laws that have reduced them to four from six. That's because the newly deceased there are now required to be buried inside a vault. When my siblings died there was no such requirement.

No one else wanted them. So I did. It won't bother me at all to be buried next to my siblings when I go. There's enough room there for my children and their spouses should they decide to be buried with me in that unknown future. I doubt they will but that option remains open as long as I'm their mom. :-)

Because it's in a Mormon enclave I'd prefer not having a funeral. My Mormon relatives would show up maybe, who barely know me. It would be way too contrived.

Both my inactive parents when they died had their funerals held at the funeral homes. It cut out the church meeting house as the go to place. It was less formal, and felt more real to me than the LDS meeting house. No bishops to get up and give a talk. No people we didn't know. It was only close family. That part was fine by me.

For myself, I'd be fine without that formality. Unless my children want a service. Then I wouldn't mind if they hold one. Neither are Mormon, so ... that would hopefully be a moot issue.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/12/2018 08:14PM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: mom anon ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 08:06PM

"I told you I was sick!"

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Posted by: Topper ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 10:15PM

Well, she tried.
Now, who's next?

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Posted by: Badassadam1 ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 10:53PM

I don't think i will ever die old dog no need to write mine.

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Posted by: mikemitchell ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 01:12PM

I'm an introvert, never got too close to anyone in life except my wife. Few people really know me, no point in putting an obituary in a paper just for the public to ask "Who the hell was that?" I'm a nobody and no one is really going to give a shit if I am alive or dead. I don't believe in a god who notices even the fallen sparrow. I welcome the passing into nothingness before my body breaks down to a point where I'm trapped in misery and prolonged agony.

I never liked the thought of being buried, my wishes are to be cremated and my ashes thrown into the prairie wind. I don't want any fuss about me, no obituary, no funeral. I have a life insurance policy so my wife will be taken care of without being a burden to our children. I'm more at peace now than I ever was in Mormonism. Hell would be to come out of a grave like some kind of zombie and have to run that squirrel wheel all over again.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2018 01:31PM by mikemitchell.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 01:32PM

I want my ashes hauled...

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Posted by: pilgrim ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 06:59PM

I wrote my own obituary while still a member of the Church. It was quite a lengthy one and included all of my "achievements" and "callings". Now that I have released myself from the church, I had to go back and delete everything I had done in connection with being LDS....and heck, my obituary is now about five lines! So much time gone (many decades); so much concern about incidentals and positions of authority or which kingdom I'd be in. So little time spent really communing with God or earth or people. Makes me sick.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 09:28PM

Here are some good ones:

My favorite:

"He respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pallbearers so the Browns can let him down one last time."


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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 10:26PM

I'm just a wee bit superstitious....kinda feel that writing it too soon is some bad mojo.....

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Posted by: csuprovograd ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 10:40PM

"Arrived too late,
Departed too soon"

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Posted by: Crazy horse ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 11:00PM

I loved nature and want to be buried in Ireland and don't have the Mormons baptize me in their baptism of the dead! I will haunt you everynight, haha that is mine

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: March 14, 2018 01:50AM

Because of the school shootings, one student wrote his own will because of life's uncertainty.

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Posted by: rhgc ( )
Date: March 14, 2018 08:55AM

First, my mother wrote out her funeral plan although the exact wording of the eulogy was for me to write (though including certain notes she made). Because she liked an Elvis song the minister allowed it because she had put it in writing!

I wonder when some billionaire has a pyramid built to equal or outdo those in Egypt. It would also be a good bet to have a supplement printed in all major newspapers.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2018 08:55AM by rhgc.

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Posted by: Anon Tutu ( )
Date: March 14, 2018 01:49PM

I may not write mine.

But my elderly Dad has written two....very similar versions.
And in both of them he has stated that "he died peacefully at home", not too much pressure to keep him in his own house and never have him in a care home.....or rehab.

He's 99 now so & thanks to my brother & two wonderful caregivers, he is still in his own home.

Yes.....he can afford it.

Anon K Tutu

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